Why would he say this, and then...nothing?

SMichelle SMichelle
Recently, I took a chance and met someone that I had been talking to online. We got along very well in person, though things didn't go exactly as planned. His life, at the time, was very chaotic.

When we were parting ways for the last time, he took it upon himself to tell me how much he liked me. The conversation went something like this...

Me: Well, it was nice meeting you. Thank you for showing me around.
He pulls me in for a hug...
Him: I really do like you. You're just as I hoped you would be. I wish you could stay.
Me: Me too.
Him: I will come see you. I will call you or text you tonight.
Me: Okay. Talk to you soon. I hope everything works out okay (with stuff he was struggling with).
Him: Me too.
He leans down for a kiss and then whispers: "I'm just nuts about you"

and then, we walk in opposite directions. I watched as he turned the corner and went out of sight, then I kept walking forward. For some reason, I felt the urge to turn back around after a few steps. I turned around, and he standing back on the corner, watching me. We stood staring at each other for a few minutes before we both walked off.

It has now been well over a week and I have not heard a word from him. I e-mailed him, but no response.

I just can't figure out why he would say all of this and then disappear.
04/02/2012
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wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Recently, I took a chance and met someone that I had been talking to online. We got along very well in person, though things didn't go exactly as planned. His life, at the time, was very chaotic.

When we were parting ways for the last ... More
Maybe he is still having those problems that he was struggling with? Or it could be anything.. Why don't you call him?
04/02/2012
SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
Maybe he is still having those problems that he was struggling with? Or it could be anything.. Why don't you call him?
I keep trying to figure out if I should.

I sent him a few e-mails over the past week. One to tell him that my flight arrived home safely, a second to send him pictures, and a third to ask him if he was okay. All spaced out over a few days. I feel like that's already seeming very desperate.

I want to call him, as I know I'll get an instant response as to what's going on if I do, but I don't want to be a bother, or seem clingy.

Maybe if I wait another 2 weeks before calling, or e-mailing again?
04/02/2012
wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
I keep trying to figure out if I should.

I sent him a few e-mails over the past week. One to tell him that my flight arrived home safely, a second to send him pictures, and a third to ask him if he was okay. All spaced out over a few days. I ... More
I would send an email in a few days and simply state that since you don't want to put anything else demanding on his plate that you won't contact him again until he has made it clear( for example- he calls you or emails you) that he wants to continue your relationship.
04/02/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Sounds like there's more going on than the first post let on.

Never be afraid to talk to someone you have feelings for. If they really wanted you gone from their life, they'd say so if they were an adult at all.
04/02/2012
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
I keep trying to figure out if I should.

I sent him a few e-mails over the past week. One to tell him that my flight arrived home safely, a second to send him pictures, and a third to ask him if he was okay. All spaced out over a few days. I ... More
no, it sounds like something may be wrong. there's nothing irrational or clingy about worrying about someone leaving you that way. i would definitely call. be cool, but call, for sure.

let him know you're worried about him - i mean hell, he could be in the hospital or worse for all you know at this point, having heard nothing at all.

if he doesn't answer i'd leave him an voicemail saying the above. good luck sweet girl. he sounded like a catch.

i bet something bad has come up. call him!
04/02/2012
Ms. N Ms. N
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
I keep trying to figure out if I should.

I sent him a few e-mails over the past week. One to tell him that my flight arrived home safely, a second to send him pictures, and a third to ask him if he was okay. All spaced out over a few days. I ... More
Perhaps he has had internet or computer troubles? It has happened to me on both ends of my LDR over the years - very frustrating for both of us. You could try to call, but definitely, be patient, and don't assume the worst.
04/02/2012
JessCee JessCee
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
no, it sounds like something may be wrong. there's nothing irrational or clingy about worrying about someone leaving you that way. i would definitely call. be cool, but call, for sure.

let him know you're worried about him - i mean ... More
alice already put in all the work for me. LOL

I completely agree, be cool, but call. You never know what could be going on.
04/02/2012
SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. N
Perhaps he has had internet or computer troubles? It has happened to me on both ends of my LDR over the years - very frustrating for both of us. You could try to call, but definitely, be patient, and don't assume the worst.
I thought that was possible at first, but then I remembered that he can (and has) sent emails from his cell phone to me before. So I just don't understand why nothing this time...

But, perhaps something has happened that has kept him otherwise occupied.
04/02/2012
Positwist Positwist
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Sounds like there's more going on than the first post let on.

Never be afraid to talk to someone you have feelings for. If they really wanted you gone from their life, they'd say so if they were an adult at all.
Agreed.

Don't worry about "clinginess" if you're not comfortable with this kind of silence. I ask the people I care about to let me know if they need some space rather just drop off the face of the earth and let me wallow in uncertainty and concern for them. It strikes me as inconsiderate. That's just me, however.

Define the terms of your relationship. Let him come to you if you're okay with silence. If you're not, call him and find out what's up.
04/02/2012
Peggi Peggi
I agree that it is strange, that he hasn't said anything but I've been in a similar situation before my guy moved in. I was super worried, he wouldn't return anything I sent, but he was just having personal problems and didn't feel like talking to anyone.

I think that you should call, if your emails aren't going through. Maybe he is having computer problems, you never know. So try another method of contact, and do as was said above and let him know you're just worried is all. If things went so well, especially as you parted ways that way, something's gotta be up!
04/02/2012
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Recently, I took a chance and met someone that I had been talking to online. We got along very well in person, though things didn't go exactly as planned. His life, at the time, was very chaotic.

When we were parting ways for the last ... More
I'll be the only one that says this, but if he wanted to contact you, I feel he would have by now. No matter what is going on with my life, if I really care about someone, I at least take six seconds to send a "thinking of you" text.
04/03/2012
Ansley Ansley
I'm going to play devil's advocate here...

When guys feel intense emotions towards someone they are interested in, it can be really difficult to pick up the phone the next day, a week or even a month later to say that they want to move forward with a relationship.

Send him a message. Something light, sweet, humorous even. Just a quick note so that he knows you are interested. The biggest stumbling block in any relationship is a fear of rejection.
04/03/2012
cepl5869 cepl5869
CALL HIM
04/03/2012
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
Agreed.

Don't worry about "clinginess" if you're not comfortable with this kind of silence. I ask the people I care about to let me know if they need some space rather just drop off the face of the earth and let me wallow in ... More
Very well-put!
04/03/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
There may be a lot going on in his life. I'd call him and tell him, I know I've emailed, but since you didn't return them I was worried about you so I thought I would make sure everything was okay.
04/03/2012
hot n spicey hot n spicey
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Recently, I took a chance and met someone that I had been talking to online. We got along very well in person, though things didn't go exactly as planned. His life, at the time, was very chaotic.

When we were parting ways for the last ... More
I would call. I mean if you two had talked for very long before you met then he would understand that you may be worried. Plus with thing like Email and texting emotions do not come across the wrong way.
04/03/2012
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 14