Long Distance... and sex. XD

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Long Distance... and sex. XD

emiliaa emiliaa
I've found someone who's really amazing and means a lot to me and turns me on to a ridiculous degree, and I wasn't expecting it at all seeing as I met him online. ( I don't normally allow myself to fall into that shit anymore. ) But alas, it's happened, and it might sound weird, but I'm actually happy with it. I'd rather get off from him than go out and pursue other people, because no one else really turns me on, and I just really feel safe and happy when I talk to him. We've talked about meeting up and such, but it's not as practical as it seems.

I've tried to give this up, and I thought it was a good idea, but it turns out I really want to pursue this in some way, at least to the point where we get to meet up and see what we think of each other in person.

I guess I'm ridiculously horny in the waiting process, and I don't think anything helps if he's not available... >_> I don't have a terribly strong drive to masturbate unless I'm talking to him. Is this even healthy? @_@ And when I get horny and he's not there, it's like, I can't quite 'get it up' enough without actually having him typing to me or something, so I don't do anything about it.

It's just kinda frustrating. While having a massively active sex drive is nice, it feels funny that I don't have interest in pursuing people. (There aren't really rules for us, as 1. we're long distance, 2. I'm polyamorous, 3. we've simply agreed to tell each other everything that happens/do what makes us happy.) I still have no interest in it,and it used to be all I ever did.

Gosh, it's really complicated, but I guess the short of it is, I might be waiting for months or years before we get really serious together, but I can't let go of the opportunity, and I have no real interest in others right now even though it'd be okay by our rules, and it all feels weird, what should I do?
04/22/2012
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VelvetDragon VelvetDragon
It sounds a bit like NRE -- new relationship energy. It happens in LDRs too! I don't know how long you've been with this guy, but NRE can last a surprisingly long time. I say just go with what is comfortable for you right now, and not worry about whether it's healthy or not, unless it REALLY makes you uncomfortable and interferes with your happiness, in which case I'd suggest talking to a professional (either therapist or sex therapist, either one might be able to help you).

These are just my thoughts though. It doesn't sound weird to me, because I'm only interested in people I already care about, I have very little sex drive outside of that, and a ridiculous amount within the relationship, or as guided by my love ones. (Some people call this "demisexual", I've heard various descriptions). If it's making you uncomfortable, by all means seek out help.
04/22/2012
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by emiliaa
I've found someone who's really amazing and means a lot to me and turns me on to a ridiculous degree, and I wasn't expecting it at all seeing as I met him online. ( I don't normally allow myself to fall into that shit anymore. ) But ...
Well I think it sounds fantastic that you've met someone who gives you so much happiness! Best of luck to you both
04/22/2012
Raigne Raigne
It's not dysfunctional unless it's having a negative impact on your life. It's not interfering with your ability to function, and you're happy with things as they are for the moment, so it's normal and healthy for you. If it starts to cause you distress, then it's a problem.
04/22/2012
emiliaa emiliaa
Thanks guys.

Truthfully, sometimes the distance really upsets me. I think that my 'withdrawal' from him wouldn't be so god-awful if I had actually been touching him when we were 'together'. @_@ Don't know what to do about that. I guess just...keep trying to find a way to meet up.
04/22/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Go for finding a way to meet up. As long as you're mostly happy, go with it. There's going to be some sadness and challenges with LDR, but they can pay off amazingly.
04/22/2012
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Meet soon, but when it feels right. The chemistry thing may not work in person. Hopefully it does.
04/22/2012
emiliaa emiliaa
Well meeting up isn't as practical as it should be. We've both discussed being realistic and keeping our hopes up.

Either way having someone I care about who I can trust with certain parts of myself is doing great things for me.
04/23/2012
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 6