Going out vs. Staying in for couples

IamKC IamKC
my partner thinks i'm out of line because i asked him to come to an outing with friends but he wants to stay home and play video games. The last time we went out with friends was 2 months ago and everyday he sits around playing these games. Am i out of line for wanting him to take one night of a break to spend time together and with friends?
04/17/2013
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Hummingbird Hummingbird
These responses should be very interesting to see.

My opinion? I don't think its out of line for an occasional visit. But I wouldn't expect him or her to join me every time. I like to think I have a life of my own without my SO. Try taking your SO to visit with friends and/or family and have them fall asleep while you're visiting or just keep to themselves. I'd rather they stayed home.
04/17/2013
SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
I really don't see this as out of line. It is healthy for couples to go out and do things separately with friends, together and also with friends and other couples.

Is it a matter of him just wanting to play video games or is he perhaps using that as an excuse because he may not enjoy hanging out with those people? Ask him why he thinks this is out of line and tell him to be honest (and be prepared for honesty)

My boyfriend doesn't like my friends, he has nothing in common with them and they get on his nerves so I learned a long time ago not to ask.
04/17/2013
Kallina Kallina
It's not so much what he would otherwise be doing in my opinion so much as it is sometimes, as a couple, you have to do things you don't want to do. When I have work functions, he doesn't want to go, but he does for me because it's what couples do for one another. When he has some friend with a party, I probably don't want to go but will agree to stop in with him for a little bit.

Relationships take involvement from both parties. I am a gamer, so I get the draw of it, but I would never not support my man if he wanted me to because I was busy gaming. Even if I'd really rather be gaming.

That said, I don't expect him to do every thing I have to do, but I don't think it's too much to ask him to come out to socialize once every couple of months.

Also, when I do go out with him when I don't really want to, I usually have a better time than I expect to!
04/17/2013
Ciao. Ciao.
It's all about making sure there is some balance. I don't think you're out of line in asking him to come along with you, especially if it's not something you get to do all that frequently as a couple...and is something you really do enjoy doing.

I'm somebody who enjoys staying home with my partner (while she enjoys being able to get out of the house, but we make sure we do both so we're both happy.

My question is why is your partner not eager to go out with some friends (I'm almost always game for it, even if I'm not the one initiating the request)?
04/17/2013
gsfanatic gsfanatic
We enjoy both. Given that we tend to leave way too busy lives, spending time and relaxing at home can be good, but we try to also get out a bit
04/17/2013
IamKC IamKC
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
It's all about making sure there is some balance. I don't think you're out of line in asking him to come along with you, especially if it's not something you get to do all that frequently as a couple...and is something you really do ... More
he says he doesnt want to go because he wants a higher rank in his game. But all he ever does is play games. He says he likes our friends but this is more important :/ idk
04/18/2013
SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by IamKC
he says he doesnt want to go because he wants a higher rank in his game. But all he ever does is play games. He says he likes our friends but this is more important :/ idk
My current boyfriend played Everquest when we first got together. It actually got to the point that he would be sitting in front of the computer every waking moment of the day because of wanting achieve higher rankings or finish a quest. I ended up giving him the choice...the game or me. I calmly explained that his game playing actually effected our relationship because I couldn't even talk to him because he was too busy playing. He knew better than to argue as I am the one with all the game systems and well over 100+ games. So when a gamer chick points out, "hey your game playing is getting really bad." he knew to take note.
04/18/2013
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 6