Help! I really need advice!

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Help! I really need advice!

butterflygirlxo butterflygirlxo
So my ex boyfriend and I dated for 8 years. We have been broken up for 3 months now. I started seeing someone else to try and get over him, yes it worked but of course still loved the ex. Well the ex decided to come back, told me he was sorry for everything, that he wanted to marry me this time, that he has never loved another girl this much, he also told me he could never picture me with someone else. So I broke up wih the new guy and started seeing my ex. However, Sunday he never talked to me all day, well Sunday night I get a text saying he didn't think it would work, he then told me he was going to start looking, then he told me he met someone who has a new car a house and was very nice. Then he told me that he no longer loved me anymore only cared for me. I've been trying to text him since Sunday, but he won't really say much back. Accept that he will be my friend and wave when we pass by each other, or friendly hello once in awhile, but this girl makes him he happiest he has been in his whole life, he told me last night he was moving in with her. His text our short and he barely replies. Do you think he really doesn't love me anymore? We have been thru so much in the past 8 years. He has left me for other girls before but came back, the longest he was gone was for a year. Also Christmas was our thing. We alway went and looked a lights, he made the comment today via text : im at easton looking at the Christmas lights with my beautiful new girl...also when we had sex the last couple times he told me it felt like love not just sex, he has always told me i was the best in bed...but he sent me a text saying by the way shes way better in bed. I don't get it. I just want to know if he doesn' love me anymore? I've been so upset about it. I know he is a jerk but he has my heart.
12/05/2012
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Ryuson Ryuson
Quote:
Originally posted by butterflygirlxo
So my ex boyfriend and I dated for 8 years. We have been broken up for 3 months now. I started seeing someone else to try and get over him, yes it worked but of course still loved the ex. Well the ex decided to come back, told me he was sorry for ...
This isn't good news, and you might not take it to heart, but you HAVE to stop communicating with him. I know how much is sucks to love someone you can't be with, or to try and keep things civil with the ex, but the ONLY reason he'd be telling you those things is to hurt you.

You should tell him that in order to move on you can't talk to him anymore... And don't! If you talk to him you'll still hold out the chance that you'll get back together some day, and that's not okay. You need to find someone who'll be good for you, and that's not him. He already had the chance, and when he gets tired of this new girl he'll leave her for someone else, but that someone is NOT going to be you.

Do you have any girlfriends you can stay with? Have a sleepover, go 'boy shopping' at the mall the next day, smile at that cute coworker... Move on with your life. And even if you can't do that right away... STOP texting him. He purposefully is texting you and manipulating your emotions to hurt you.

I had an ex do the EXACT same things. It eventually got so bad that my mum called him and his mum and told them that she'd file a restraining order if he kept at it. It's not healthy to keep trying to contact someone like that.

Message me if you need any help or someone to talk to, 8 years is a long time.
12/05/2012
MsDrProfKitty MsDrProfKitty
Oh hun!
This guy is what is known as a manipulator (and a dickhead). He's just boosting his ego knowing he can really hurt you.
You need to know that you are stronger than him and all men like him. You need to KNOW that you are more beautiful than he deserves and so good in bed that you'd be downgrading to let him be next to you again.

PLEASE try your best to not let his comments cut you down. They hurt, and they will hurt for awhile, but these wounds will heal and you'll be stronger knowing you can survive and stand up for yourself.

Honestly, you will feel better than you ever knew you could by stopping all contact with this guy and moving on (easier said than done, I know). Ignoring him will be so empowering! You are not his toy.
You are your own woman and he has no right to hurt you or act like you are nothing.

It will be hard to ignore him. But if he ever tries to contact you, think of all the ways he has hurt you and everything he's done. Write them down if you have to but DO NOT FORGET! Self confidence is everything and you can do this! You deserve a man who would never leave you, who works hard to make sure he deserves to be with you, and who does his best to make up for his little mistakes (little mistakes mind you, a man who truly loves you will do everything in his power not to fuck up big time like this asshole has repeatedly).

I'm not saying I have experienced the same thing as you, but I have been through a similar situation. Please trust me when I tell you that you deserve so much more than him. Once you heal from this, you will feel so much more confident and healthy. For me it was like a weight was lifted off of me when I finally put my foot down and never talked to my problem again. Assholes are assholes and they will not change for you. This is a rule.

Do whatever it takes to keep your head up: hang out with friends, go shopping, hang out with family, pick up a hobby, and surround yourself with people who really love and care about you.

If you ever need someone to talk to or anything, message me. You are not alone!

You are better than him, stronger than him, too beautiful for him, confident and self-respecting, and you deserve so much more than him. And I promise, things will get better.
12/05/2012
butts butts
Take the other two poster's advice, don't contact him anymore. He's manipulative and obviously doesn't truly love you. Move on, he's not worth your time.
12/05/2012
burtnuh burtnuh
A relationship like this isn't healthy. He's being hateful, you don't do that to someone you love. If he's constantly leaving you that won't stop. If you keep giving him chances he'll continue to leave. You need to move on darling. I hope everything works out for you.
12/05/2012
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by MsDrProfKitty
Oh hun!
This guy is what is known as a manipulator (and a dickhead). He's just boosting his ego knowing he can really hurt you.
You need to know that you are stronger than him and all men like him. You need to KNOW that you are more ...
I agree!!!

You have a lot going for you and do not need an emotionally abusive man to keep harassing you!! Ignore his texts--do not text him anymore and go get your own happy life without all the pain involved. It will take time but will be so worth it in the long run!
12/05/2012
shorejen9 shorejen9
I'm sorry to be harsh but he never loved you the way you deserve. If he left you many times for others then he's using you as his back up plan. You deserve better. You have to stop texting and communicating with him. Even if he tries in a few months, don't respond. You need to move on and find someone that will love you the way you need and deserve.
I don't mean to be harsh I'm just trying to help.
12/05/2012
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 7