Sexual frustration with fiance... and myself... Read my story and offer some advice?

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Sexual frustration with fiance... and myself... Read my story and offer some advice?

ToyGurl ToyGurl
Hey everyone. As all of you know I'm engaged to a wonderful man, and I love him with all my heart. We always have amazing love-making. We never fail to make each other happy. The last two days, we just seem really out of touch due to outside stressors. Our families are just really getting into it with us (not about our engagement, about regular family crap). It seems to be really distracting. We still live apart, and we don't plan to live with each other until after the wedding. We are having trouble finding a home in our area that is big enough, but small enough for a couple at the same time.

Anyway... Last night, he comes over. We had been missing each other a lot this week. I only saw him once because of school and work. Our lovemaking was sloppy last time, and got ruined by a snapping cock ring (see reviews for more info on that...). We were both really just out of touch and distracted. We weren't looking each other in the eyes during sex like we usually do, and you could just feel that lack of connection. It's hard to explain, but i'm sure some of you out there could understand.

So last night, we put a movie on, and munch on some strawberries in bed and just relax. Things started to get really hot and heavy. It was like everything was back to where it was supposed to be. I have had trouble with my person lubrication due to my medications, but I was soaking wet for him. It was perfect. We start having sex, and he cums in... like two minutes. This isn't bad, but it is abnormal because he is one of those men who can go for an hour if he wanted to. Although the sex was good, and the connection was felt, things got worse.

He got up to go to the restroom, and I got completely naked (it was all spontaneous, so we worked around my shorts lol) and just waited in bed for him. I heard the phone ring, and it was his sister's ringtone. Me and her have not yet come to terms it seems. She hated me for the first year my fiance and I dated, and she's just starting to even talk to me again. But it seriously seems like she is always trying to pull him away from me when he's over. I could hear her voice just yelling, SO LOUD. I mean, the bathroom is all the way on the other end of the bedroom, and I could hear her through the door. She wanted him to "GET HIS ASS" to his parents house because they needed to talk about something with him. It was something really stupid, and it basically could have waited. But she made it sound important... so he left...

So I'm in bed, sexually frustrated yet cannot get wet or even get turned on because I'm so upset. And I know well that I don't need a man to pleasure myself, yet it's not just the orgasm that I want... I want my future husband, and I want to make love with him without these losses of connection. I talked to him on the phone, and he ended up just sleeping there last night... didn't even come back to my place. We talked on the phone all night before bed, just like we did when we were younger. This was cute... but I needed him next to me.

I can't see him again until Tuesday/Wednesday. He's with the air force and has to travel to New Mexico for a few nights. I figured, let him go to sleep, he needs his rest... I can always masturbate tomorrow. Today, I have tried everything I can to get in the mood. Maybe I need to rephrase that, because I am in the mood to have self-pleasure, but I have this mental block. I keep imagining him here with me, and us having sex - as usual. But I can't come to orgasm because of all the stress we have been having. Everytime I remember that he left me here last night, or he's in new mexico, or the loss of connection... I just lose it.

Does anyone go through this? Does anyone have advice, maybe a married couple? How do you get through this mental block, and enjoy self pleasure again when you just can't get there... It's so funny because I preach masturbation for a living! It just seems like it is disrupting my mood that I cannot enjoy pleasure when he is gone, and it's hard to get us connected during love-making lately. I don't want sex to just be SEX. There's more to it...
04/30/2011
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Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
When we start feeling like this, we set aside an entire night dedicated to re-connecting with each other. We do this after a big fight too. We turn off all the phones, get someone to watch the kids, and we stay up all night rekindling. We play with each other, make love, dance... whatever our bodies take us to doing. In between sex we talk. We talk about everything that's bothering us. We talk about fantasies. We talk about what we want out of our relationship. We talk about what we have and tell each other how much it means to us that we are the only people in the world that we've ever shared a connection like this with. And that reminds us of what made us fall in love.

Maybe this time apart will be a good thing. Maybe he will come home realizing how much he misses you and your touch. Sometimes we all need to be apart at some point in a relationship. But when he gets back have a night like this planned. Get you a sexy outfit; I can make some recommendations! Make you a sexy play list or CD and have it playing the entire time. I can give you a list of good songs too, as long as you're into the same types of music. Music can really be a voice for you. Listen to the song and know what it's talking about and tell him that this is how you feel. One that's coming to my mind right now that makes me think about my hubby is "Is This Real" that's from the Practical Magic soundtrack. The words, the music, everything about this song is sultry and sexy. And it explains the feeling that I get the entire time we make love. And I remind my hubby that he is the only man in the world that can make me feel this way.

While the music's going talk to him. You will never know what's really going on unless you talk to him. Communication is the most important thing to have in a relationship. Without it, there is no relationship.

I hope this helps. And if you want some ideas for songs, just send me a message. Tell me what kind of music you like too. Again, this is just an idea. Just telling you what works for us. I hope everything works out for you hun. I hate that you are so frustrated!
04/30/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Brandi Rouxxx
When we start feeling like this, we set aside an entire night dedicated to re-connecting with each other. We do this after a big fight too. We turn off all the phones, get someone to watch the kids, and we stay up all night rekindling. We play ...
Thank you so much for the advice, I didn't really think that maybe time away is a good thing. I can finally tell you that as far as self-love I am not frustrated. After I postes this, I shut off the computer, phones, locked the door, closed the blinds, and just spent some quality time with myself. I put my favorite mix CD on (Third Eye Blind), filled up the tub, took a hot bath and had a good cry. It sounds like a bad time, but I think I needed to cry this one out a little. See, with him in the air force, there's a good chance that not too long after we are married he will be away a lot. It's something that has been on my mind since I've dated him in high school. He was in ROTC in high school, so I knew that air force was his life goal... marrying me also became one of them. The thought of him away has been contributing to this block, and that is something that I didn't realize until tonight. I agree that maybe him and I need to talk about that together. We never really have. I don't want to break the engagement, or beg him not to go. I want him to go if he ever needs to. I just want him to know how I feel. I would like to know how he feels too...

Then I did some self grooming; doing my brows, painting my nails, and doing a facial scrub. I looked in the mirror and noticed how I looked and I was satisfied. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to love myself in the form of giving myself an orgasm. Masturbating is what I tried next... but I just couldn't "cum" to it. Haha. Maybe I'll just come to terms with that and give it up.

You'll be pleased to know that my fiance and I listen to any type of music from rock to rap to country to indie alternative... and so on. I would love to hear some of your favorite love making songs. My fiance and I have always been into rough, yet slow and connected love making. Sometimes we are very very kinky (no bondage, but we get a little extra rough to where I'm hurting in the morning lol) and other times we are just very romantic. So basically, anything usually works with us.

Thank you so much for the advice. Reading this, I really smiled and teared up a little because I love him and I know that he is the one for me. The thought of our upcoming marriage is so amazing, and I know we will get through this rough spot with some practice. We may end up needing to do more than just what you suggested, but I would definitely like to go with your advice. Thanks so much! Happy love life to you
04/30/2011
Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
You have mail...
05/01/2011
evelyn evelyn
05/01/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
thanks so much!
05/02/2011
SoBlue SoBlue
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Hey everyone. As all of you know I'm engaged to a wonderful man, and I love him with all my heart. We always have amazing love-making. We never fail to make each other happy. The last two days, we just seem really out of touch due to outside ...
well hun, take a breath, you know its outside stress, its frustrating yes, but as soon as you can relax and just breathe believe me, it"ll come or cum lol
05/03/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by SoBlue
well hun, take a breath, you know its outside stress, its frustrating yes, but as soon as you can relax and just breathe believe me, it"ll come or cum lol
Thanks SDDSerenity. I can finally say that I had multiple orgasms last night... and I did it for myself, not out of despair. I definitely needed to breathe!
05/04/2011
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 4