^ The title says it all ^
What's the best relationship advice you've ever received?
06/13/2013
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Quote:
Communicate. And that means everything. Communicate feelings, desires, expectations. There is no greater way to respect your spouse than to be completely transparent with them and allow them that same courtesy.
Originally posted by
laflauta
^ The title says it all ^
There is no greater way to destroy a relationship than to shut down.
Also, listen. Part of communication is to actually listen to what's being communicated to you. It's not enough just to talk and then ignore what's being said. Communication happens for a reason. So couples can understand each other and be closer and stronger from it.
Lastly, love yourself. It is not selfish to love yourself. It is wise to be happy with who you are as an individual before you bring someone else into your life. They need to be part of your life, not the center of the universe. Something that enhances your life, not the only thing that makes you happy. If your partner is the only thing that makes you happy, it is likely to lead to co-dependence. Your partner can be your best friend, but not your ONLY friend.
06/16/2013
The best advice I received, I foolishly did not take. My father told me "You don't have to do this" before walking me down the isle. I should have listened and I would have been saved from a lot of abuse from my ex. If everyone you are close to tells you it is a mistake, it most likely is and you are blinded by love or a clever manipulator.
The second best advice I have tried really hard to follow and it has done wonders in my current relationship.
Do not react to what is said to you in anger. Look for the underlying hurt or unmet need and calmly address that.
It is hard at first not to react but with practice it can be done and makes things so much better. Like if your spouse gets upset because you did not call to say you were working late. The underlying issues may be that they were worried about your safety, they want to spend time with you, etc. Before my reaction would have been, I am an adult, I don't have to answer to you if I am going to be late. Now I see that he is not trying to control where I am, he just wants to know I am safe. I understand the need so I try hard to communicate when I won't be home on time.
The second best advice I have tried really hard to follow and it has done wonders in my current relationship.
Do not react to what is said to you in anger. Look for the underlying hurt or unmet need and calmly address that.
It is hard at first not to react but with practice it can be done and makes things so much better. Like if your spouse gets upset because you did not call to say you were working late. The underlying issues may be that they were worried about your safety, they want to spend time with you, etc. Before my reaction would have been, I am an adult, I don't have to answer to you if I am going to be late. Now I see that he is not trying to control where I am, he just wants to know I am safe. I understand the need so I try hard to communicate when I won't be home on time.
06/18/2013
"The easiest way to do it... is to just do it."
This can be applied to virtually any struggle you face in life. Any time I'm waffling back and forth about any decision, relationship-related or otherwise, I come back to this one. It was this sentence that prompted me to break off my relationship with an abusive ex, too; I was asking my friend (now my partner of 5 years) how to end it, and saying I was having a hard time figuring out the right way to go about it. That one bit of advice is the only advice I adhere to on a regular basis. It has never failed me.
This can be applied to virtually any struggle you face in life. Any time I'm waffling back and forth about any decision, relationship-related or otherwise, I come back to this one. It was this sentence that prompted me to break off my relationship with an abusive ex, too; I was asking my friend (now my partner of 5 years) how to end it, and saying I was having a hard time figuring out the right way to go about it. That one bit of advice is the only advice I adhere to on a regular basis. It has never failed me.
06/18/2013
ain't happened yet...
06/18/2013
Quote:
Talk-when you stop communicating its truly over.
Originally posted by
laflauta
^ The title says it all ^
06/19/2013
Quote:
My father said the same thing to me, twice oh how I wish I had taken that advice!!!! But was too embarrassed to tell everyone at the church. Now it has been 6 years and the divorce is still not over.
Originally posted by
Pete's Princess
The best advice I received, I foolishly did not take. My father told me "You don't have to do this" before walking me down the isle. I should have listened and I would have been saved from a lot of abuse from my ex. If everyone you
...
more
The best advice I received, I foolishly did not take. My father told me "You don't have to do this" before walking me down the isle. I should have listened and I would have been saved from a lot of abuse from my ex. If everyone you are close to tells you it is a mistake, it most likely is and you are blinded by love or a clever manipulator.
The second best advice I have tried really hard to follow and it has done wonders in my current relationship.
Do not react to what is said to you in anger. Look for the underlying hurt or unmet need and calmly address that.
It is hard at first not to react but with practice it can be done and makes things so much better. Like if your spouse gets upset because you did not call to say you were working late. The underlying issues may be that they were worried about your safety, they want to spend time with you, etc. Before my reaction would have been, I am an adult, I don't have to answer to you if I am going to be late. Now I see that he is not trying to control where I am, he just wants to know I am safe. I understand the need so I try hard to communicate when I won't be home on time. less
The second best advice I have tried really hard to follow and it has done wonders in my current relationship.
Do not react to what is said to you in anger. Look for the underlying hurt or unmet need and calmly address that.
It is hard at first not to react but with practice it can be done and makes things so much better. Like if your spouse gets upset because you did not call to say you were working late. The underlying issues may be that they were worried about your safety, they want to spend time with you, etc. Before my reaction would have been, I am an adult, I don't have to answer to you if I am going to be late. Now I see that he is not trying to control where I am, he just wants to know I am safe. I understand the need so I try hard to communicate when I won't be home on time. less
06/19/2013
Quote:
The best advice I got was from my father also. He looked me right in the eyes and said: is this the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with? Does he have the same life goals as you and support you, can you count on him? My answers were, no no well no but. That's when it hit me. How did dads get to smart?
Originally posted by
Pete's Princess
The best advice I received, I foolishly did not take. My father told me "You don't have to do this" before walking me down the isle. I should have listened and I would have been saved from a lot of abuse from my ex. If everyone you
...
more
The best advice I received, I foolishly did not take. My father told me "You don't have to do this" before walking me down the isle. I should have listened and I would have been saved from a lot of abuse from my ex. If everyone you are close to tells you it is a mistake, it most likely is and you are blinded by love or a clever manipulator.
The second best advice I have tried really hard to follow and it has done wonders in my current relationship.
Do not react to what is said to you in anger. Look for the underlying hurt or unmet need and calmly address that.
It is hard at first not to react but with practice it can be done and makes things so much better. Like if your spouse gets upset because you did not call to say you were working late. The underlying issues may be that they were worried about your safety, they want to spend time with you, etc. Before my reaction would have been, I am an adult, I don't have to answer to you if I am going to be late. Now I see that he is not trying to control where I am, he just wants to know I am safe. I understand the need so I try hard to communicate when I won't be home on time. less
The second best advice I have tried really hard to follow and it has done wonders in my current relationship.
Do not react to what is said to you in anger. Look for the underlying hurt or unmet need and calmly address that.
It is hard at first not to react but with practice it can be done and makes things so much better. Like if your spouse gets upset because you did not call to say you were working late. The underlying issues may be that they were worried about your safety, they want to spend time with you, etc. Before my reaction would have been, I am an adult, I don't have to answer to you if I am going to be late. Now I see that he is not trying to control where I am, he just wants to know I am safe. I understand the need so I try hard to communicate when I won't be home on time. less
06/23/2013
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 8