Gonna chime in here, from the perspective of a gay man. If I was giving advice to a gay couple, these would be my recommended prerequisites.
- After you had been tested together, for EVERYTHING, especially HIV
- Are in a long term, stable monogamous relationship, that you expect to last at least twice as long as it has already lasted.
- Have had a serious talk about why you want to go bareback.
- Discuss whether any of the desires that make you want this can be fulfilled in other ways.
Don't guilt trip your partner into going bareback (If you really love me...) This should be a decision that you make together.
Now, that all being said, I personally am uncomfortable with the idea of unprotected sex, even in a monogamous relationship. The idea of an uncovered penis going into an ass, is kinda gross, and not sexy to me. I'm not going to deny people the right to go bareback, if they want to. But it still makes me uncomfortable. It is much easier to just say "I will use a condom, every time, no matter what" than "I will use a condom every time, unless..."