Advice on Open Marriage?

Nurse Katie Nurse Katie
So I am newly married (going on one year) and my husband and I enjoy an open marriage. For those of you out there more experienced with open marriages: (1) how long have you had your open marriage and (2)if you had to give me just one piece of advice on making an open marriage a success, what would it be?
11/09/2012
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Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Nurse Katie
So I am newly married (going on one year) and my husband and I enjoy an open marriage. For those of you out there more experienced with open marriages: (1) how long have you had your open marriage and (2)if you had to give me just one piece of ... More
My marriage has been completely open for going on 5 years but we dabbled for our entire marriage of 22 years. My advice would be to really communicate and understand that there is no guideline or accepted rights and wrongs for open marriage. What works for us my not work for you. Be ready and willing to carve your own path. Listen to each other...and I mean REALLY listen. Hear with your ears not your heart, trust your partner to tell you how he feels. Be ready to tell him how you feel.

Enjoy yourself, if it's not fun it's not worth doing.
11/09/2012
apryls apryls
Quote:
Originally posted by Nurse Katie
So I am newly married (going on one year) and my husband and I enjoy an open marriage. For those of you out there more experienced with open marriages: (1) how long have you had your open marriage and (2)if you had to give me just one piece of ... More
My husband and I have been married for 12 yrs and together for over 20 yrs. We have always had an open marriage, and I agree with airen wolf.
11/10/2012
smlove smlove
Quote:
Originally posted by Nurse Katie
So I am newly married (going on one year) and my husband and I enjoy an open marriage. For those of you out there more experienced with open marriages: (1) how long have you had your open marriage and (2)if you had to give me just one piece of ... More
we've been married for 2 years now, and the ultimate advice is communication must stay open!
that means, even if you don't feel like sharing at the moment, you need to communicate that too! "honey, I'm having feelings of jealousy at the moment. I would like to talk about them, but not right now." or whatever the issue may be. it is hard, when you're feeling something powerful, to stop and take a step back in order to communicate like that. but it helps so much!
"i'm feeling overwhelmed right now. I'd like to discuss things, but not at the moment." and the other partner needs to be okay with that. a lot of the time, you just need to work through the emotion in a therapeutic manner before you can voice your thoughts and feelings.
11/12/2012
MacNCheese MacNCheese
Quote:
Originally posted by Nurse Katie
So I am newly married (going on one year) and my husband and I enjoy an open marriage. For those of you out there more experienced with open marriages: (1) how long have you had your open marriage and (2)if you had to give me just one piece of ... More
Don't get jealous?
12/01/2012
DoneWithAlltheLies DoneWithAlltheLies
Quote:
Originally posted by MacNCheese
Don't get jealous?
That's a problematic oversimplification. Jealousy is just an indicator that some adjustments need to be made, either together as a couple/group or personally. Saying "don't get jealous" is like saying "don't make any mistakes": it's a great solution... if you're not mortal.
12/04/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by MacNCheese
Don't get jealous?
Jealous of what exactly? It's not a loving thing to hem someone in because you can't or won't deal with your own emotions. Trying to deny your emotions is also hemming someone in...yourself. In a truly open relationship there is no room for allowing jealousy an improper amount of energy. You deal with your issue either alone or as a couple (triple, quad, whatever) and move on. I know my lovers want to be with me and nothing and no one will ever change that except me so there is no jealousy fear for me.When it crops up, as it will, I have a plan of attack but I don't dwell on it.
12/04/2012
Cynoc Cynoc
Instead of "dont' get jealous", can we say "own your feelings" ?
12/26/2012
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 7