anyone out there in a poly relationship?

CynicallyYours CynicallyYours
CynicallyYours
Related to: 
if so, what's your story. how does your poly family work? what are your ground rules?
10/11/2010
  • Weekly Special: Sexy Savings
  • Save 15% on Luxury Brands
  • Annual Clearance - Save 30%
  • Buy Cascade vibe and save 50% on lubricants!
  • Save 20% on self-lubricating Cascade vibe and sleeve kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
SexyySarah SexyySarah
nope
10/11/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by CynicallyYours
if so, what's your story. how does your poly family work? what are your ground rules?
Yes I am in a poly relationship with two men. We have three kids, live in two countries (though we are working on that lil problem)and otherwise we tend to be so normal we are rather boring, so I've been told.

Our ground rules are very simple: Honesty. That's what our life is based on being open to new possibilities and being hoest with each other about everything.
10/11/2010
Waterfall Waterfall
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Yes I am in a poly relationship with two men. We have three kids, live in two countries (though we are working on that lil problem)and otherwise we tend to be so normal we are rather boring, so I've been told.

Our ground rules are very ... More
Just curious, but is it hard to find time to see each other being in two different countries? How often do you see each other?
10/11/2010
TheSexista TheSexista
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Yes I am in a poly relationship with two men. We have three kids, live in two countries (though we are working on that lil problem)and otherwise we tend to be so normal we are rather boring, so I've been told.

Our ground rules are very ... More
Wow, that is interesting. Do the children understand what is going on? Do you all sleep with each other?

Sorry do not mean to sound stupid, I have just never met anyone in this type of relationship and would love to know more.
10/12/2010
CynicallyYours CynicallyYours
there are children in my extended poly family. they are very young right now so there is much talk within the group as to how the kid's knowledge of the situation will be dealt with.

at this point there are no extra "parents" living in the home with them so the rest of us are currently "aunties" and "uncles".

since they are not my children i will be respecting whatever the parents decide, i myself will be interested to see how they let their children in on the workings of their extended family.
10/14/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Waterfall
Just curious, but is it hard to find time to see each other being in two different countries? How often do you see each other?
We see each other every day on skype and include whomever isn't int he house into the day as much as possible. Both guys have very set schedules with work so it's working for now. We travel to Canada every year in early spring through summer and gernerally the kids and I stay for a few months. Arch travels to us once a year around Monkey's birthday for a few weeks buthis work shcedule doesn't permit more than that. It's not easy but we make it work.
10/14/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by TheSexista
Wow, that is interesting. Do the children understand what is going on? Do you all sleep with each other?

Sorry do not mean to sound stupid, I have just never met anyone in this type of relationship and would love to know more.
Yes the girls are aware of the situation. Their father an I have had an open relationship most of their lives. The love Arch and he loves them. Oddly enough he gets to be Mom's boyfriend but none of Sigel's playmates are allowed to stay the night by order of the girls! Arch has been in our lives since the girls were 5 and 6 so he's family to them. None of Sigel's extra curricular activities are explained or discussed with the girls because they are very transient and we don't want that influence for them. My son with Arch is only 10 months old but this is all he knows. He knws who his father is and he knws tht Sigel is also his father (he is his legal step-father). He calls Arch 'Dada' and Sigel 'Lala' or 'rawr' cause that's what Sigel says to him most often LOL. Any female is Mama right now but I'm cool with that. Oh and the cat is Dada as well...

Arch, Sigel and I do sleep in one bed when we are together in Canada but we are all wearing night clothes and there simply isn't another bed in his tiny apartment. The girls have the guest bedroom along with their brother (he's just an infant). The bed is a queen size and we fit all snuggly like. When we are at home in the US we have an extra bedroom with a full size bed that Arch uses, though we will wander into our master suite if we are feeling like getting frisky since the bed is larger, and the room is soundproof! I will sleep in whichever bed I end up in and the guys are cool with it for now. We expect there will be more of a schedule when we are all under the same roof. I can't sleep in one bed with them both all the time mainly cause they are both like furnaces. Sigel is 8 inches and Arch is a full foot taller than I am so I get buried in the covers as well. LOL

The girls are 12 and 14 and they know we have sex but they don't know the mechanics and we don't discuss it with them, much to their relief. They simply aren't interested in our sex lives and we wouldn't welcome that interest anyhow. I will answer any and all questions about sex and relationships in general but unless it's about the loving relationship side of our lives I refuse to discuss my sex life as it's none of their business and never will be.
We are openly discreet and don't act all freaky. I don't paw Sigel in front of the kids and likewise I don't paw Arch. We kiss (like parents should according to our kids. Without tongue cause that's yucky LOL) and we show affection but the sexual stuff is behind closed doors. You know like good parents everywhere!
We argue, discuss, discipline the kids and act as a unit and so far it is working fine for us though it will be a new set of struggles when we are all in one house though right now we'd settle for one country!
10/14/2010
Unconventional Unconventional
@Airen Wolf: It's so nice to meet someone else who is in such a similar situation! I'm living in Alaska right now with my second husband, expecting our first baby together. We have 2 other children, a son I had with my first and a daughter from my second husband's previous marriage. My first husband comes up to visit every few months, but in February we will finally be moving back to Arizona to be a family again. How long have you been with your two? About 7 years, from the looks of the girls' ages?
10/15/2010
Vexed Vexed
I'm a 30 year old male that is in a poly relationship. I'm dating a married woman that also has one other boyfriend. So, I'm one of her 3 lovers. I've been dating her for a year, and she's been with her other bf for two years, and her husband for 10. We all live within 3 miles of each other in a progressive city with a metro area of about 3 million people.

I've watched her and her husband have sex while I held her hand and her leg. After that, he rested in the bed while she and I had sex. Her other boyfriend and I have had sex with her back to back as a treat for her, but not in the same room.

I feel jealous about her other boyfriend some times, but not about her husband. I understand the reasons behind this, but I'm not willing to divulge everything here. I've had several threesome experiences with other women and their partners, and have not felt one ounce of jealousy.
10/18/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Unconventional
@Airen Wolf: It's so nice to meet someone else who is in such a similar situation! I'm living in Alaska right now with my second husband, expecting our first baby together. We have 2 other children, a son I had with my first and a daughter ... More
It is closing in on about 7 years total but only 3 years sexually. I am slow to move a relationship I value to a sexual level, if that makes sense.
10/20/2010
Unconventional Unconventional
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
It is closing in on about 7 years total but only 3 years sexually. I am slow to move a relationship I value to a sexual level, if that makes sense.
That does make sense. Impressive, though I couldn't have managed that myself. Kudos.
10/20/2010
Autumn Brent Autumn Brent
We aren't really polyamorous, more like polysexual, we like being sleeping with other people but only if we have permission, but we prefer to be romantically monogamous. Both my boyfriend and I enjoy sleeping with other people but not loving them. I bring him home girls and tell him he's allowed to do certain things with the people I say, and the same for me. But at the end of the day, we only love eachother and we love eachother and are more happy with eachother than anyone else we know, we also are more connected, open and honest than anyone I've ever talked to.
01/08/2011
padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by CynicallyYours
if so, what's your story. how does your poly family work? what are your ground rules?
I'm in a poly relationship but haven't had any relationships in over a year. I've been spending the last year concentrating on my Master. We are still open but I'm not searching like I used to.
06/26/2011
G.L. Morrison G.L. Morrison
Explaining my poly tribe can be complicated. I've only ever had one monogamous relationship. It just doesn't work for me ideologically to promise to limit the possibilities of current or future relationships.

I raised my (and others') children in open polyamory. In fact most of the poly social groups I've been involved with are child friendly... bbqs, meeting at the park or pizza parlor, etc. It's helpful for kids to interact with others so they have a wider view of the world (and allies) and are not easily shamed or terrorized by disapproving bystanders.

In the past I have lived in a house of my own and had lovers, usually submissive, who moved in with me. At the current time, I have three primary partners who live nearby but separately. With each of them, I have a set of shared partners as well.

I share a house in a suburb south of Portland with my lesbian lover (approx 3 yrs). This is the house she grew up in. A friend and playmate of ours is a roommate. We also have a shared lover who lives just across the border in Washington with her husband and children and she comes every other weds and stays over night with us. (On the other weds, her husband overnights with his lover.) I frequently schedule group dates or "parties" with lovers, playmates at this house. My dogs live there because of the big yard.

I also share an apt in a suburb east of Portland with another primary (1 yr). (We tried living all together but they didn't get along and are civil to each other but not friendly... not jealousy issues, just general personality conflicts. They are very different from each other and speak to different sides of me. They are very protective of my other relationships.) We share this apt with my adult son (monog), his gf (poly) and my granddaughter.

My third primary (3 yrs) has an apt downtown and prefers to live alone. Altho this is ironic as the cute tiny apt usually has at least one "couch surfing" lover most of the time. We don't have a set schedule to see each other but we travel together, can end up in any house, bed, whatever together and share literally a dozen lovers, playmates, fwb and he has twice that of his own. Sometimes what we do when we get together is make a list of people we worry we have been ignoring. And make plans to see them.

Interestingly, the thing that makes it impossible for us to all live together like I have in the past is a combination of politics, sexual identity, and communication styles.
07/06/2011
SaraBroughman SaraBroughman
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
We see each other every day on skype and include whomever isn't int he house into the day as much as possible. Both guys have very set schedules with work so it's working for now. We travel to Canada every year in early spring through summer ... More
Wow! I can see how that must be frustrating! My boyfriend (not fiancee, the other) and I hardly ever see eachother either. It's been an issue since early January of 2012.
04/19/2012
badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by CynicallyYours
if so, what's your story. how does your poly family work? what are your ground rules?
Poly, in a monogamous marraige, as my husband isn't.
04/20/2012
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 12