Children in a poly relationship?

chibi1091 chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
It is irresponsible.
18  (19%)
It is responsible.
14  (15%)
Other.
63  (66%)
Total votes: 95
Poll is closed
01/12/2012
  • Luxury To People: Save 20% on Select Designer Brands
  • Better Price Sale - Save 60%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 70%
  • Free Attachments with Fairy Mini. Save $21.99

    • FREE attachments
      Free attachments
    • Fairy Mini
    Get a Free 3 attachment set

    Expires on Oct 28, 2015 at 5pm ET Terms

  • Better Price Sale - Save 50%
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Jul!a Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome parents in one house? That could be even better than having just two awesome parents in one house. I really don't see what sexual orientation or preference for number of partners has on somebody's ability to be a good parent. Some people are good parents, some are not, and I don't think it's fair to make a blanket statement (even if it's just an opinion) on whether or not people in polyamorous relationships are making a responsible or irresponsible choice by bringing children into it, because it really boils down to the individual people involved.
01/12/2012
Cherry21 Cherry21
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome ... More
I agree here. And I don't think that any child is gonna care how/what sexual orientation their parent's are as long as they're loved and in a happy home!
01/12/2012
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
Depends on the situation and how well the children will be taken care of.
01/13/2012
Sir Sir
Being poly isn't what makes a relationship responsible or irresponsible for children, it's the people themselves.
01/13/2012
Chirple Chirple
As responsible or irresponsible as bringing children into the world any other time.
01/13/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome ... More
Why thank you Sweetheart! I agree whole heartedly. There are some people I wouldn't want parenting regardless of their sexual preference or how many partners they hav in their beds and some people I know would be excellent parents scared to death because of their totally monogamous parents' style of child rearing.

My kids are better for the safety and security having three parents offers. They have all the advantages any child could ask for and they want for nothing. They have a full time stay at home Mom, a father that works from home, and a father that works 12 hour shifts and goes to college. They see what hard work, commitment and negotiation gets you in life. Oh and just for good measure, not even the two year old is confused about who Daddy is! That's just silly thinking, we don't learn who are parents are by never having interaction with other parents.

Anyhow, it isn't responsible or irresponsible to bring children into a poly relationship. There's nothing wrong with loving more than one partner and being happy! Why should children be denied the chance to see their parents happy, productive and loving? Why do we never ask if it's responsible to bring children into monogamous relationships? The stress and strain in raising children is the same regardless of the number of co-parents involved.

Makes me wonder what people who vote "irresponsible" think goes on in a poly household...
01/16/2012
chantal coopette chantal coopette
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome ... More
totally agree!~
01/16/2012
Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
it really depends on how you do it.
i could see it being that way, but i have a friend who is, and she has kids, and her house is just a home full of love. love for the kids and for each other.
01/23/2012
Siekarr Siekarr
ITA with Airen Wolf here...come on, really, what kind of question is this?
02/04/2012
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I think that there are a fair share of monogamous couples that irresponsible for bringing children into their relationship.

It doesn't matter who's in the relationship, it's really about whether or not the parents are responsible human beings that are capable and willing to rear children. And those types of people can be in any kind of relationship setting.
02/04/2012
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I'd need more specifics to answer this question. Are the people married? Responsible themselves? Going to be sticking around a while?
02/04/2012
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I feel like I should add that, even if they weren't all living under the same roof, that you can be a good and responsible and loving parent.

How a responsible and loving person parents has little, if nothing, to do with who they're sleeping with.
02/04/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I'd need more specifics to answer this question. Are the people married? Responsible themselves? Going to be sticking around a while?
To be totally fair you could and should ask these questions before bringing children into ANY relationship, shouldn't you?
02/04/2012
freda freda
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome ... More
agree
02/22/2012
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
It depends on the parents' level of responsibility and character, it has nothing to do with the dynamic between the parents or how many there may be. I'm a firm believer that all children need to be raised is love, support, and some structure, whether it be provided by one parent or ten, straight, gay, or anything else.
02/22/2012
MimiPhryxus MimiPhryxus
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome ... More
I agree with this. Doesn't matter if its 1 parent raising kids or 10, responsibility doesn't depend on the number of people involved or the sexual orientation of the parent(s).
02/26/2012
scaredlittleboy scaredlittleboy
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome ... More
I agree fully!
03/18/2012
Tangles Tangles
I agree with some of the posts above, it definitely depends on the responsibility of each of the people in the relationship, but I don't believe bringing children into a polyamorous relationship is an inherently irresponsible act.
03/20/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
I just think THAT part of your life should be kept away from your kids. I honestly don't know how to answer that question because I don't know much about it. But if you are with numerous people I just feel it's better to shield kids from that. I use to have a friend that wasn't seeing anyone exclusively but she would take home different guys here and there and her kids would wake up to some stranger in their home.....I just don't think that's cool.
03/20/2012
tom fay tom fay
it all depends on the people, and to me, really has nothing to do with the people you might, or might not be seeing. as long as the people are caring there shouldnt be a problem
03/20/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Some monogamous couples aren't responsible enough for children, but some are. Some polyamorous relationships might not be the best environment for a child, but having three or more awesome ... More
Great answer, Sam. I agree 100%.
03/20/2012
SparklyGlitter SparklyGlitter
Ita about the way the rleationship functions, if they can work good together, they they should rais kids together
03/20/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
I just think THAT part of your life should be kept away from your kids. I honestly don't know how to answer that question because I don't know much about it. But if you are with numerous people I just feel it's better to shield kids from ... More
Most poly folk do not bring home strangers and introduce people to their children just as carefully as a single parent would introduce new partners to their children...so you will have some variation because not everyone is as careful as they should be. Generally, however, children in a poly family will not wake up to a stranger in their home.

That being said so long as your children are not exposed to inapropriate sexual behavior (as in they SEE or hear described the acts the parents are performing with these strangers) and the strangers are not predating the children why should they be shielded from other adults that may have an amazingly positive impact on the lives of the children? No one has an issue with having a bunch of adult friends stay the night if they come over for a visit, so why is it ok for these people to be there in the morning?

I agree that some parents are going to be bad parents...but a woman that sleeps around and possibly endangers her children by bringing home a new guy every week really isn't polyamorous anyhow. Polyamory is the act of loving more than one person at a time and usully involves a commitment to these people that extends farther than just a night in the sack.
03/20/2012
SaraBroughman SaraBroughman
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
It could be responsible, but it depends. I've actually not done much research on it, this is a pretty neat concept. My fiancee and I plan on adopting and also someday having children of our own. My boyfriend and I don't. But would it be responsible to have children with my fiancee and having a boyfriend too? Huh. Good question. We'll have to work this one out between us three.
04/19/2012
badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
I know more than a few couples who are monogamous but should absolutely HAVE NEVER had children, and yet do. I think this is the same kind of question about "should gay people have kids?" It really all depends on the couple.
04/20/2012
RosesThorns RosesThorns
I dont think your relationship status should be a determining factor on whether or not you should have children.
06/20/2012
Crimson Vixen Crimson Vixen
I actually bore witness to a polyamorous couple having a child. The coupling was a wrong match and it ended horribly. I agree with all those who are stating that it does not matter what the relationship status is so long as the PARENTS are ready to take on the responsibility of raising a child.
07/08/2012
The Kitty The Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by chibi1091
Do you think it's responsible or irresponsible to bring children in to a polyamorous relationship?
I dont think its that simple of a question, bringng children into the world can sometimes be irresponsible, bringing them into any kind of unstable relationship can be irresponsible, but not having a relationship, or not being true to yourself and using the children as an excuse is irresponsible too. if you have kids or are going to have kids you need to be honest with them about the nature of your relationships and find balance between your needs and thiers
_has kids and is poly
08/30/2012
DoneWithAlltheLies DoneWithAlltheLies
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
I just think THAT part of your life should be kept away from your kids. I honestly don't know how to answer that question because I don't know much about it. But if you are with numerous people I just feel it's better to shield kids from ... More
Sleeping around is not the same as polyamory (although it is an equally valid life choice and, so long as you're doing it responsibly and happily, more power to you). I think "shielding" your kids from the partners in your life can send messages about some kinds of love needing to be hidden or being inappropriate, which to me seems detrimental. At the very least, they'll probably catch on that you're hiding something.
09/02/2012
  • 1
  • 2
Total posts: 55
Unique posters: 51