Do you ever feel like poly break ups are harder than monogamous break ups?

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Do you ever feel like poly break ups are harder than monogamous break ups?

CynicallyYours CynicallyYours
All break ups are hard, I don't think anyone suffers more or less when there is a break up, especially a particularly bad one. But I sometimes wonder if they aren't a bit harder in a poly relationship. It seems so much more complicated when you're also at least friendly with your partner's other partners. There is that much more temptation to ask people to take sides (something I try to avoid at all costs).

I think poly relationships just end up more entwined and it seems that much harder to separate everything when a poly relationship goes bad. Thoughts?
04/12/2012
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Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by CynicallyYours
All break ups are hard, I don't think anyone suffers more or less when there is a break up, especially a particularly bad one. But I sometimes wonder if they aren't a bit harder in a poly relationship. It seems so much more complicated when ...
I can't really say as I've only had one bad breakup and it was with a friend who wasn't an acknowledged lover. To be totally honest I am hoping to never be able to answer this question. ~knocks wood~
04/13/2012
Kirsten A Kirsten A
I've only had one breakup since becoming poly, and I got nothing but support from my other partner. It just happened that my ex alienated her around the same time that we broke up.

Now I am in a triad. I didn't mean to be, but I fell for my metamour! Although I have a hard time imagining my partners breaking up, it's very difficult for me when they argue. I try hard not to take sides but I want to be supportive and listen if they need to vent.
04/18/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Kirsten A
I've only had one breakup since becoming poly, and I got nothing but support from my other partner. It just happened that my ex alienated her around the same time that we broke up.

Now I am in a triad. I didn't mean to be, but I fell ...
My Arch knows exactly how you feel...it's hard for him to hear Sigel and I argue. By now he has faith that Sigel and I will work it out but I know he sometimes wants to just knock our heads together and tell us to shut up! Still we are here for the long run so we muddle through.
04/19/2012
badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by CynicallyYours
All break ups are hard, I don't think anyone suffers more or less when there is a break up, especially a particularly bad one. But I sometimes wonder if they aren't a bit harder in a poly relationship. It seems so much more complicated when ...
I find this to be the case, yes.
04/20/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I'm in my first ever poly relationship - a triad where we are all in relationships with each other - and my secondary has expressed a general curiosity as to how a triad breakup would work, especially if it is just one partner breaking off and the other two staying together, though she hopes we won't have to deal with that any time in the foreseeable future. It would be interesting to hear stories of how people have handled breakups on this front, though I imagine that the logistics of it all are not really dramatically different than in a monogamous breakup.
05/26/2012
Lady of the Lab Lady of the Lab
Surprisingly it's been easier for me, but that might have been because I have become more emotionally mature being poly. Also I recovered quickly (well, at least one) because I learned that being poly is in no small part dependent on self-respect and self-love.

As Ron Paul says:
"If you don't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
06/28/2012
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 6