Did you ever try to SPICE UP a marriage with an idea that went TOTALLY wrong???

Bignuf Bignuf
Please share your insight and help us ALL learn what NOT to do and how NOT to do it. THANKS.
03/14/2012
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Kate D Kate D
I stupidly tried to save a marriage I should have been out of, by agreeing to have sex with his friends. Bad mistake!

Not that I think sex with others is bad, but if your man wants you to become the "sex toy" for all of his friends, he either doesn't love you or wants to get off sexually knowing that others think your hot.

I'm still kinda pissed at myself for letting it happen, and for how long it went on for. It was physically pleasurable, but emotionally empty because he was so cold and distant.
03/25/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Kate D
I stupidly tried to save a marriage I should have been out of, by agreeing to have sex with his friends. Bad mistake!

Not that I think sex with others is bad, but if your man wants you to become the "sex toy" for all of his ... More
See? I had the opposite problem. I THOUGHT my husband wanted to share me with his friends but he wanted something totally different. I feel your pain, either side of the coin is painful and destroying to your inner self.

The biggest mistake I made was assuming that because my husband spoke the words of BDSM that he understood the mantra safe, sane and consensual.I figured that since I knew him so well I knew his inner thoughts and ideas instead of actually sitting down with him and discussing a 'scene' like I would any other play partner. I did the after scene talk and he was devastated to learn that it hadn't been a good time for me and that he hadn't caught my clues that it was going sideways. NOT a way to spice things up and a major breach of trust for us...and for our partner who really relies on us to have a strong and connected relationship.
NEVER assume you know what you partner thinks or feels...when in doubt ASK and accept their words at face value or ask for clarification. It saves much heartache.
03/26/2012
BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
Not yet....
02/05/2013
Hummingbird Hummingbird
Not talking to each other and we've been married, well lets say a very long time. Neither of us ever discussed what we wanted or expected and as a result life became common place, routine. Routine is great for getting chores done or paying bills or even on your job/career. But intimacy really true intimacy, providing pleasure for you partner and knowing what 'tips them over the edge' starts with discussion. It was difficult the first time talking, I know because we are still doing so. Its a little easier and we've agreed we both need to say what's on our mind and that it has to go both ways.

It has been worth it more than I can ever express and if you've ever read any of my other posts in this area you'll know I found a way to love again with one I truly care for.
02/05/2013
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Don't marry someone who idealizes his mother and tries to get you to try out her Look.

He shot down every single healthy idea I had, then attacked my libido and drive to the point of my self-hate being even worse than they were when we first met.

Just ... don't get with the wrong guy or girl. EVER.
02/05/2013
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 6