Favorite ways to cope with a break up?

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Favorite ways to cope with a break up?

CynicallyYours CynicallyYours
So I'm fairly fresh out of a nasty break up. I'm not in the "I'm never getting out of bed ever again" stage anymore but I'm definitely still in the "avoid Adele songs like the plague" stage.

So I've been trying to find ways to soothe myself and build myself back up. I've done the normal things like retail therapy, eating lots of chocolate, crying on friend's shoulders, etc. I've also done things like finding something I have to really concentrate on that gives me a small feeling of accomplishment.

It sounds kinda silly but I really enjoy the process of doing my own nails. Filing, buffing, base coat, a nice design. All that good stuff, it keeps my brain occupied for a while and I get to look at my pretty nails.

What things do you do for yourself while trying to claw your way back up after a tough break up?
04/12/2012
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LusciousLollypop LusciousLollypop
I'm sorry that you had a bad breakup. I hate when things end badly and messy. It is harder to heal that way. I know when I was in my last 5 year relationship, and I was dumped in the end, it was like the world was falling apart. I thought I was going to marry him and have a million babies. You know the highschool love romance thing? Yeah..

I coped actually by preoccupying my time with going out with friends. I went and hung out with my friends a lot. I also took a kickboxing class and it relieved a lot of stress and tension that was building up. Even though I was sad, I was also upset and angry. You can also try getting into a yoga class. I tried the whole "zen" thing for a bit, but found out that kickboxing was even better for me.

It took awhile to get back into the groove of not thinking about him and moving on. I still sometimes think about him but know that it ended for a reason.. it helps me heal by knowing that for one, it wasn't a healthy relationship and I am very better off.

I don't know why and what happened with your relationship, but if you ever need to talk, I am here for you.

I would definitely occupy my time with lots of stuff. Take a cooking class. Yoga. Kickboxing. Doing your nails. Going out with friends. Joining a club. Read. Listen to music that isn't Adele. Listen to cheerful music.

I know you can get through this.
xoxo
04/12/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I always liked to hang out with friends to take my mind off the pain - working out always helped to both distract me and make me tired enough to go to sleep without alcohol or other sleep aids.

Good luck - have faith that in time things will be better
04/12/2012
Badass Badass
I am sorry to hear of your rough break up.
Personally, staying super busy always help me. Go out somewhere with your girlfriends! Get a new toy, test it out repeatedly and write an awesome review.
04/12/2012
js250 js250
Do things that are just for you!! Hair dyes, make up, finger nails....whatever it takes to keep you occupied. Classes help, too.
04/13/2012
Dawn (Lilac Distraction) Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
Quote:
Originally posted by CynicallyYours
So I'm fairly fresh out of a nasty break up. I'm not in the "I'm never getting out of bed ever again" stage anymore but I'm definitely still in the "avoid Adele songs like the plague" stage.

So I've ...
I'm not really going through a break-up, per se, but it is really similar (as in it was an ex who randomly appeared, I fell back in love with, and disappeared again).

What I did to get a handle on things and stop that "I can't live if livin' is without you" deal is that I sat down and wrote him letters every night. These were letters I never thought he'd ever read, but they were more about me figuring out my feelings. I could see a total change in them and was able to gain clarity from it. Turns out I could live without him, there was a lot of frustration and pain brewing beneath the surface,and writing about it has helped me to accept and move on.

After that (and the subsequent feelings of being overwhelmed by everyone and everything) I decided to go on a social hiatus. To not speak to anyone who doesn't cross my path (here doesn't count). I deactivated my Facebook and my OKCupid, told the people who mattered what I was doing, and just sat there by myself with everything. Doing things that make me happy. Showing myself that I'm fine on my own. Taking the time to process and understand everything without distractions.

It's been 10 days since he left and 6 into my seclusion. Instead of me sitting there feeling that the best thing I'd ever had slipped right through my fingers I now just acknowledge that it happened and keep moving. (It also may be why I've written somewhere around 20 reviews in the past few days . . . )
04/13/2012
closed account closed account
sorry to hear you are going through this. i am going through something myself. i try to remind myself that i am grieving the loss of what i had thought and hoped would be for us. the loss of our future plans. i really had faith that it was all going to be okay, that things would get better, and they would be good.

writing things out, journaling, letters, it helps me process. it's a rollercoaster though. it can lead to alot of self reflection and realization.

i seem to be alternating between trying to stay busy, and other days i am debilated by it. i think i need to try your retail therapy route.

music is a double edged sword for me. but when i have it all bottled up , songs that bring me to tears helps me get it out.
04/13/2012
Raigne Raigne
I actually do my nails too when I'm stressed! It's somewhat complex and requires concentration, so it's a good way to shut my brain off for a little while. I also journal. Other than that I find a friend to play some video games with or I hop on netflix and find a campy old TV show to watch, like Conan the Series.
04/13/2012
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by CynicallyYours
So I'm fairly fresh out of a nasty break up. I'm not in the "I'm never getting out of bed ever again" stage anymore but I'm definitely still in the "avoid Adele songs like the plague" stage.

So I've ...
Aw! I'm really sorry. I haven't had a break up in over 6 years! Lol. My partner and I have been together for 6, but when I did have a break up, I had some things I'd do that were helpful. For me, surrounding myself with as many friends, family as possible was the best thing. I would be able to laugh and forget about my feelings and the hurt and it never hurts to meet someone that sparks your interest. That has helped me forget the pain. Not jumping into bed with them or even dating right away, just someone who does interest you and you enjoy flirting with and being around.

Also, burning the ex's belongings (even if it feels like a fork in the heart!) and erasing the evidence of them from my life. Yes, I cried when I deleted their phone number, (although I still memorized it!) but that's one less time I have to come across their name.

For me, I like to do something dramatic. Put on the fanciest, sexist dress I own and go out. Or get a new hair cut/color on impulse. It's something about the adrenaline, I think. Doing something really out of the ordinary was always helpful for me. I guess when you're starting over after something ended, doing something big is a way to mark the change. Nails are great! I work in nail design so that's definitely one way that will keep you busy. If you have kids or kids in the family, take them swimming or to the park. They'll most certainly keep your mind off things and wear your butt out. Lol.
04/13/2012
lisasharrer lisasharrer
Quote:
Originally posted by CynicallyYours
So I'm fairly fresh out of a nasty break up. I'm not in the "I'm never getting out of bed ever again" stage anymore but I'm definitely still in the "avoid Adele songs like the plague" stage.

So I've ...
i sit and cry then i go out and party and move on there will be another.or call and old one and get it on.
04/13/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else...It really was what made me stop obssessing and move on and realize there's still a life out there.

Now though, I stay clear away from relationships, specifically to avoid the break up part. Just not worth it. I learned my lesson after one (as jadded as that is!)
04/13/2012
Dawn (Lilac Distraction) Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
Quote:
Originally posted by Geogeo
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else...It really was what made me stop obssessing and move on and realize there's still a life out there.

Now though, I stay clear away from relationships, specifically to avoid the ...
For me that just caused even more problems.
04/13/2012
Femme Mystique Femme Mystique
I agree with the pampering. I also like to work out while listening to empowering music. Endorphins and self-improvement do wonders for helping you feel better about a break up.
04/13/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Even though it's been about 6 months, I'm still there with you. My last relationship was almost 4 years, so I still have some more work to do on myself.

I've been throwing myself into work and my hobbies, reminding myself "This too shall pass."
04/13/2012
CadmiumKitty CadmiumKitty
drinking.
05/02/2012
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 14