First of all, your foot stomping "tantrum" was adorable.
I definitely agree with the points that have been made here: whether or not we personally would feel comfortable using a toy anally, if there's no flange the review should mention that it isn't designed for safe anal play; if you know your limits, they can be used safely, but you really have to know what you're dealing with and know your body.
Personally, I feel safe with anything more than 7 inches long, because right now I simply cannot take more than 3-4 inches; anything more will NOT go in, no matter what I do, leaving at least half the toy outside. This basically turns the rest of the toy into a handle. For me, a toy that is simply too long for me is as good an insurance policy as a flange. As my limits change, this will obviously change. However, a beginner might not know this about their body; if you don't know your depth limits, or aren't familiar with the incredible power of the almighty sphincters, they can get in over their heads very quickly. Thus, regardless of my personal limits, I warn that a toy isn't designed for anal play.
My rule of thumb for review is, if it doesn't have a flange, I recommend not using it for anal play, regardless of length or handle status. If it's very long, or there are other extenuating circumstances (say, a severe curve toward the "handle" end) I may say "not recommended, but possibly safe if you're very, very careful."
Thanks for starting this topic, DBD. It definitely needs to be talked about. I know many reviewers, myself included, sometimes forget to add little bits of safety/cleaning/materi al compatibility information, simply because we've said it so many times that it's easy to forget that there are customers that DON'T know the shpeil by heart.