How can I improve my sex drive for my Hubby

JunexMommy JunexMommy
After I had my son who is now almost 2, I swear my sex drive is gone. I'm debating on buying sexual enhancing pills online. I honestly dont know what to do because the only time im horny is when im able to get pregnant or "ovulating". We probally only have sex maybe 5 times a month! It's annoying!
02/11/2012
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Ciao. Ciao.
I can't offer any post-pregnancy specific advice, but I know that both my partner and I have seen each of our sex drives fluctuate greatly over the time we've been together. We've definitely had periods where we've had sex less than 5 times in a month because one or the other of us was stressed, sick, or otherwise just too busy to make things happen.

I don't want to speculate too much about your situation but I'm guessing with a 2 year old around you're probably pretty busy and not necessarily focused on your own pleasure in the same way that you might have been pre-kid. Maybe you just need to figure out ways to cut out that kind of space/time in your life so that you two can enjoy things more often than a couple times a month. I'm pretty sure most of the "sex enhancing" products out there don't really do much, so talk with your partner and tell him that you want to make things work for you more often and do your best to carve out some private, sensual time regularly. Maybe that will help. Best of luck!
02/11/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Your biggest sex organ is not your genitals - it's your brain.

Engage yourself in planning interesting sexual encounters. Anticipation and planning for sex increases testosterone production. Even though women have much lower testosterone level - it is the hormone you need for an adequate sex drive. Some women are even prescribed very low dose testosterone to improve sex drive.

However - I doubt that you need drugs. I'm just suggesting that sexual thoughts - even masturbation can increase sex drive.

If part of your reluctance is because your partner is not pleasing you - you may be subconsciously trying to avoid the frustration. If that is the case try to help your husband understand what makes you feel good - then respond enthusiastically when he's getting it right.

Good luck!
02/11/2012
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I agree with everything Gunsmoke has said here, but I wanted to add one thing, even though it might not apply to your situation.

Once my son was born, I sort of created a "mommy complex" for myself. I had this notion that now that I was a mother, mothers are supposed to act a certain way. They are not supposed to have lustful thoughts, or something like that...I know, it seems crazy.

Once I dropped that complex (took me nearly a decade to realize I had bought into the idea in the first place) and began being more vocal (to my husband about what turned me on and what I fantasized about) my sex drive increased back to the days before we got pregnant and then some.
02/11/2012
Mia Fey Mia Fey
All of these posts are great. Check the side effects of any medications you are on since there could be a relation to the decrease in sex drive. The advice about masturbating and sexy thoughts are spot on. Maybe do something for yourself that you find really sexy or makes you feel sexy, sometimes getting in that mindset can help. The advice about setting aside time is also spot on. Just because you and your partner are raising a child doesn't mean that your sex life has to take a huge hit. Also watch your stress level. Some people's response to stress is a decrease in sex drive (and there are some who find sex as a way to work the stress off) and regulating how much controllable stress is in your life may help.
02/11/2012
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I agree with everything that has been said but I'm going to add a couple of other thoughts.

Sometimes my husband and I just had to "plan ahead" that we were going to have sex. Knowing that we had those plans helped me get in the mood because I would think about how much fun it had been in the past.

Secondly, sometimes doing things together like going for a walk or taking a shower together, helped me get in the mood because we had spent some quality time together even if it didn't involve intimacy.

I hope these ideas help you!
02/11/2012
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by JunexMommy
After I had my son who is now almost 2, I swear my sex drive is gone. I'm debating on buying sexual enhancing pills online. I honestly dont know what to do because the only time im horny is when im able to get pregnant or "ovulating". ... More
My daughter is two-years-old. I still don't feel like my old self, but I often find that reading Literotica does it for me. I've also been told that if you just start the process, you'll be surprised at how often you end up in the mood. Finally, my mom always says if you and your significant other can do heart-felt little things, the body follows the mind!
02/12/2012
JunexMommy JunexMommy
Thank alot everyone this hopefully should do the trick!
02/12/2012
PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Your biggest sex organ is not your genitals - it's your brain.

Engage yourself in planning interesting sexual encounters. Anticipation and planning for sex increases testosterone production. Even though women have much lower testosterone ... More
I agree with Gunsmoke - it's the brain!! Stimulate it, energize it, turn on the hypothalamus that controls the Pituitary Gland and then read a Erotic Fantasy Book!
02/12/2012
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Everyone else has excellent ideas, but I would also add that this is something worth mentioning to your OB/GYN. he/ she might be able to piinpoint why you feel this way, and give you some medically guided advice if needed. Something worth considering.
02/12/2012
Forever17 Forever17
lots of exersize and kegels oysters help
02/14/2012
Forever17 Forever17
actually also try thinking sexy or romantic thoughts through out the day tell yurself your beautiful a lot of the time its in our heads i have a 19 month old and we women keep buisy and stressed !! good luck!!
02/14/2012
Pussylover Pussylover
I am male but reading this I can't believe no one suggested changing or checking what birth control your using. Dr Drew always mentions this when this type of question comes up.
02/18/2012
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 11