Body Image Acceptance

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Body Image Acceptance

LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
“Loving yourself in a world of hate is the most radical, the most political thing you can do.”
—G.L. Morrison, from Weighing Desire

This quote from G.L. Morrions's article on self-love and body acceptance has me thinking. It's rather profound, but how realistic is it?

How hard is it to achieve?

No matter what your body shape, acceptance and love of self can be a challenge even for the most grounded of us. Morrison writes from the perspective of an SSBBW (Super sized big beautiful woman) but I think her words are meant for anyone of any size who struggles with not feeling good enough.

Everywhere we look we are inundated with messages of how we need improvement.

We are too fat.
We are too skinny.
A real woman looks like this... or that..or now it has to be this...

How do you maintain a level of confidence in your body when it seems no matter where you turn, someone has an impossible ideal for you to achieve?
02/08/2010
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Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
“Loving yourself in a world of hate is the most radical, the most political thing you can do.”
—G.L. Morrison, from Weighing Desire

This quote from G.L. Morrions's article on self-love and body acceptance has me thinking. It's ...
I'll be completely honest: I couldn't do it alone. Without outside input, I think I'm flabby and disproportionate and plain. That's where my boyfriend comes in. 4 years of being told how beautiful I am, in detail, have helped a lot. 4 years of being told that if I try to drop from a healthy, average size to a much lower, less healthy size, he'd miss my curves... and stage an intervention involving lasagna and ice cream and cake. He's helped me come to terms with my curves, even though the world keeps trying to tell me that a small girl with large breasts looks unbalanced and fake and belongs in porn.

So, for me, I keep up my confidence in my body by finding outside sources of encouragement. Maybe someday I won't need it, but it's a good place to start.
02/08/2010
Victoria Victoria
I think "looking good" for yourself is key. It does help to have a supportive partner, definitely. But the basis of confidence begins with yourself - there is so much I value about myself that is not psychical, so it makes it easier for me to not give body image the total of my self-worth. And I personally find curvy and colorful to be very attractive. I also have fun with my body, my clothing, my accessories - I personalize pretty much everything. So my shirts are comfortable to me, but so is my skin. Any time I've talked about losing weight, it's been because of back and knee issues, not the size of my jeans. I think weight should be considered because of health - not looks. But that's just me.
02/08/2010
Sammi Sammi
I think it can be tricky, but I know I also couldn't do it alone. My husband has always been supportive and loves the way I look, and he makes me more confident in myself. And that has, over the years, made me a lot more comfortable to be myself and like the way I look. At this point we both want to lose weight, but it's more for our health than how we look to each other.
02/08/2010
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I came to the realization, roughly around my middle school years, that some people will always hate you and the way you look, no matter what. But they're not at all important to me: it's the people who love me who really matter.
02/09/2010
Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
This is not so uncommon in men really, I see men who are not comfortable with their body image, lots of people do not recognize it.

I am never going to compare the struggles, because they are different, but they are there for both genders.
02/09/2010
Luvasaurus Luvasaurus
Body image is something I’ve always struggled with. I battled anorexia for a very long time and I’m finally getting comfortable in my skin. I’ve found the skinnier I am, the less comfortable I am. I started college, a size 12 in children’s clothes, 5 years later I am a size 4-6. It took me years of learning to concentrate on the things I love about myself, before I could really accept the way I am.
02/09/2010
Saturday Stevens Saturday Stevens
This might sound really strange but the two things that have given me a better body image are masturbation & showing myself off to whoever's willing to look.

Knowing my body and what makes it feel good is extremely empowering. I might look like the Michelin Man when I take off my clothes but that's one of the last things on my mind while I'm having an orgasm. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter that one areola is bigger than the other. What matters is how amazing it feels to have them touched.

I'm a bit of an exhibitionist and have previously posted a few risqué pictures of myself online. I was very pleasantly surprised by the feedback that I they received. It's like "If this many people like the way I look, then maybe I should too."
02/09/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
I've always been on the skinnier side. When I was about 15 I started birth control and went from weighing 95 pounds at 5'2 to weighing close to 130. For me it was huge, I loved it at first because I had been trying to gain weight for a long time because I always felt too skinny and got tired of people asking me why I was dieting (ignoring the half a large pizza I just ate) and then making comments about how I must have no problems finding clothing when in reality because I had some hips on me it was almost impossible to find anything that would fit around the butt but not drag on the ground too badly. But then I had a few friends that started saying that I looked fat. I didn't try to diet or anything because I had done my research and knew that while I was at the heavier end of the spectrum, I was still a healthy weight, but I did start changing what I wore.

Fast forward to 5 years later, all that weight is gone now for the most part, and I got used to being at 115. It was a very comfortable weight for me. I'm around 105 right now and I personally still think I'm too skinny. My fiance loves me the way that I am and says that my body is perfect for me. My ribs don't stick out, so as far as he's concerned he's happy as long as I'm happy. It's taken me a long time to be ok with my size and shape. But I've focused on the good things like the fact that I think my butt looks fantastic in a good pair of jeans.
02/09/2010
ordinaryak ordinaryak
I am insane about my body image i know my Boyfriend wants me to go to a counsler becuase he is afraid i will become anorexic. but i cannot help it i was a very unsociel person growing up and my older sister and her friends were pretty cruel they would often tell me i was ugly,fat, a pig, that they wouldnt be suprised if i had bugs crawling in my hair things like thate any friends growing up and gave on on ever having a boyfriend. now that i am in a relationship its incredably difficult for me to belive him when he says im beautiful. it isnt that i dont want to belive him its just that i cant. i have been 5'4 since i was 15 years old and never even hit 95 pounds untill i was 18 i used to starve myself and work out excessively im still dieting becuase the Depo shot has caused to me to gain 15 pounds and im lifting weights often. my boyfriend wants me to gain 45 pounds i dont think i ever could.
02/17/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
Yeah, so as some people know I was diagnosed with Alopecia, talk about a body image car crash. I used to have long unreasonably thick hair that drove me nuts. When it fell out my world crashed. Seriously, I mean I cried and cried for days.

How I got over it:

For one, J tells me how great I look all the time. Two, I sat down and gave myself a serious talking to. Who the hell cares what everyone else thinks? Really, I am an intelligent woman with a great husband and two beautiful kids. I decided that other people's opinions no longer mattered to me. I got a fall that looks natural, and a few very unnatural looking wigs for really cheap. I get looks when I wear them out, but then I just figure those people have no idea what the hell the rest of the world is going through, what makes them so perfect.

One woman commented one day and my 5 year old told her "my mommy is sick and lost her hair." I am very sure that woman figured it was from chemo, but I let her think that because she may have learned not to judge others so quickly.

As for body image, well I am still working on that one. I will say that I love love love love my legs and breasts, so I show them off. My tummy isn't wonderful, but you know what? I give up, and I don't really care anymore. If people don't like me for who I am then they suck.
02/17/2010
Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
I liked what you said in your last post J's Alley", really would like to second it "I give up, and I don't really care anymore. If people don't like me for who I am then they suck."

Though that is incredibly hard to do, but I admire you for you being able to

Anyway, I have an an upcoming article soon to be published that deals with body image, and asks some good questions about body image and its courtship with the media. How the media may or may not (each has their own opinion) cause some of the body image issues. It is not an uncommon theme for sure, but I hope to bring to the front some good points, and ask a few good questions. Now that, that shameless plug of my writing is over with, please commence
02/17/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
I commend you J, I think the hardest part for anybody is being able to finally realize that the only person who's opinion matters is yours.



And Viktor, I look forward to reading this article of yours
02/18/2010
Keeshia Keeshia
I won't say that I've never had a problem with body image but as I've gotten a little older I've realized that the only opinion that matters is mine. As is, I'm perfectly fine with my body on a day to day basis. I am currently working on getting fit. though. Not -skinny or skinnier-, FIT.

I think a lot of people's image of what is beautiful or what a "real" woman should look like is seriously contorted by media influences. I tend to get into arguments with the people who think all women should look like Hollywood actresses or models and I have to immediately say, THEY don't even look that way! So why should I hold myself to some photoshop standard.

Off the soapbox before I get cranky
02/20/2010
Brosia Brosia
I'm a big girl. Not big as in, "Oh, she's just curvy." I'm a fat chick. And I'm perfectly fine with this. But it hasn't been easy getting there. For me, it's all been about reading. Learning the ins and outs of the beauty industry did the trick. Once I saw what a scam that all was, everything else just fell into place.
05/23/2010
BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
I have major self image issues. I've had 6 kids and although I'm not huge (size 14), I have some flabby parts and lots of stretch marks. And I'm not getting any younger. Doesn't help that my hubby doesn't really go out of his way to compliment me or look at me or whatever which would make me feel better about myself. My ex husband at least did that so I was more confident when I was with him. I have tried to talk to my hubby, but it gets me nowhere. All you see is skinny, perfect women everywhere - TV, magazines, even on the "toy boxes". Media makes is SOOO hard for us "real women" to feel good about ourselves.
06/04/2010
usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Ahh, I trually dont care what my body looks like. So what if ime not hot, my husband still loves me for me. I dont care what people on the street think. If they dont like it tough.

I wake up every morning worring about how is my friends an family doing today, not the fact that I have a scar on my back or my nails arent painted.

So overall my body is what it is. I cant change it so oh well.
06/26/2010
Kim! Kim!
My last "relationship", if you can call it that, was 2 years of mental and emotional abuse. When we got together I was skinny. I really did look good. I wanted to be skinnier but I really did not need to be. Then his abuse started and he'd often call me fat, insisting that he was joking later on. This was pretty frequent so after about a year and a half of being called fat and dealing with all of the other crap he bought me through I did gain weight(I went from a size 4 to a size 10). That ended awhile ago, one of the times that he ended it I refused to come back when he asked. I almost immediately began losing weight once I told him no. It wasn't all of it, I still have some extra, but I am smaller than I was when I was with him (I'm at around an 8ish but I'm only 5'2").

Now I just have a great relationship and someone who compliments me all of the time and my self-esteem has returned.
07/05/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
I used to be very thin and flat chested. FFW 20 years, 3 kids, and now I'm curvy and full-breasted and I seem to attract more attention that I did back then. I still have those days when I wish I was ten pounds thinner, but I'm not getting any younger. As long as I eat right, exercise, and enjoy life, it's all good. I don't spend time doing nails, dying hair, etc..I do wear a little makeup so I don't look like a zombie all day long.

It's nice to see some magazines using "plus" (size 12-14..geez) sized models, but it's not enough. The media and Hollywood still prolong "skinny" as being in and that is just effed up! Healthy should be in, no matter what size you are.
07/05/2010
Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
“Loving yourself in a world of hate is the most radical, the most political thing you can do.”
—G.L. Morrison, from Weighing Desire

This quote from G.L. Morrions's article on self-love and body acceptance has me thinking. It's ...
I try to ignore it, and I refuse to watch television. It distorts everything! What we see on the screens, the movies, what we hear from people around us, it just doesn't compare to how our mother sees us or how our husbands see us. When my husband Jonathan tells me how beautiful and perfect I am, just the way I am, I still don't believe him. My self esteem is so low that even when I don't believe the shit from the media, I still think I'm ugly. And I know that I'm beautiful, but sometimes I just don't. I'm a really depressed person, so looking in the mirror is generally just hard for me. Jonathan thinks I'm perfect, and I know he means it, and I should listen. But as far as ideals that someone has for me that are impossible to achieve, those are the ideals that I made for myself. I'm too much of a perfectionist to just accept myself the way I am.
08/04/2010
Felinity Felinity
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I came to the realization, roughly around my middle school years, that some people will always hate you and the way you look, no matter what. But they're not at all important to me: it's the people who love me who really matter.
Ditto! LOL And ground even deeper in through highschool. (3.5 years of pure hell)

I can only hope I can manage to instill this same sort of value in my daughters - to be happy in their own skin regardless of what people may say.

On a more personal level, I have my own issues with my body and there's nothing to be done about it short of getting on medications I have no interest in taking. My self confidence is shaky at times but, over the years, it's become like a muscle - the more I use it, the stronger it gets. While it's always nice to hear a compliment from someone else and it can be very helpful, I know that my own worth and happiness starts and ends with me.
08/05/2010
Miss Naughty Kitty Miss Naughty Kitty
Well on cam that is usually a big confidence booster if you can get your self you go on. All the guys that are attracted to your body type find you and let you know just how pretty you are.

But me I don't need them to boost my confidence, I am very comfortable with my body just the way it is.
08/05/2010
joja joja
I have had a few breakthroughs in terms of body image in the last year, actually. Although I was extremely skinny as a kid and therefore not teased nearly as harshly as others (at least about that aspect of my appearance...), there were always things that bothered me - including acne scars on my back that prevented me from wearing open-back shirts or swimsuits in public for about 3 years.

What I finally had to realize is that the pursuit of better looks is endless. A nose job or tummy tuck will not make you feel better about yourself in the long run - unless you fix the way you look at your body, you will always find something else to hate about yourself.

I have numerous flaws - big nose, either stubble or constant razor burn, frizzy hair - but instead of waiting and working until I am someday "good enough" as I once did, I finally realized that it is actually okay to have flaws. Everyone does, yet you don't seem to focus nearly as much on criticizing others as you do yourself.
08/05/2010
oohlookasquirrel oohlookasquirrel
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
“Loving yourself in a world of hate is the most radical, the most political thing you can do.”
—G.L. Morrison, from Weighing Desire

This quote from G.L. Morrions's article on self-love and body acceptance has me thinking. It's ...
I hit a point at which I realized that I'm never going to look as hot naked as I did when I was 16, and it's probably all downhill from here, so I might as well enjoy what I've got because there's not a whole lot I can do to change it. I regret all the time I spent as a teen worrying about the size of my breasts and thighs when they were perfect as they were, and I know that when I'm 60 I'm going to regret all the time I spent stressing out about my appearance when I was young. I'm going to make the best of what I've got and take care of it while I've got it.

It also helps to have a partner who loves my breasts, because I was insecure about them for ages. And of course, the attention I get from random strangers when I look nice doesn't hurt.

Also, keeping in mind all of the photoshop done in magazines and movies helps me a lot. Those people aren't real. And the ones who really are that skinny and beautiful are being paid to maintain that image. If my only job was to look hot and I had all the time in the world to eat right and exercise, of course I'd have more muscles than jiggly bits and tan lines in all the right places and people to do my makeup for me. But you know what? I'd be boring if that's all there was to my life. I'd rather do the things I do now than worry about perfecting my body. Not that I don't take care of myself, but my goals are realistic.
08/05/2010
chrissybelle chrissybelle
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
“Loving yourself in a world of hate is the most radical, the most political thing you can do.”
—G.L. Morrison, from Weighing Desire

This quote from G.L. Morrions's article on self-love and body acceptance has me thinking. It's ...
Body image has always been a struggle for me. I went to a VERY small private school where I was the "fat girl". 7th and 8th grade I suffered from eating disorders. High school was a little easier, since I lost a lot of weight (the healthy way) & had therapy for eating disorders, but I think the biggest thing that has helped me was dressing better and my current boyfriend. I realized that when I found NICE clothes that fit me (for any plus size girls, Torrid is a fantastic place to shop!!!) and made me look good, I felt a million times better about myself. I have also realized that I have to be at least SOMEWHAT attractive, otherwise my guy wouldn't be calling me every night to come over
08/07/2010
candyapple22 candyapple22
I have major body issues. I hate to be naked, or to have my husband look at me. I cant have him touch my stomach and feel poorly about myself. It has really affected our sex life because of my thoughts of myself. Reciently i have been working on my self confidence and forcing myself to be naked. Its not easy, especially when society tells us we should be very thin. Ive never been comfortable in my own skin but i am trying. I love myself, just not the way i look.
02/22/2013
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 24