Do you think it's important to have kids?

sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Do you think that it's important to have kids? I really have never been interested in children in any way, whatsoever. And people keep pressuring me and getting freaked out that I have this opinion. I just really never want kids, and I never want that kind of lifestyle. I wish people would get off my back about this.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes kids are necessary for a happy life
9
No kids aren't necessary for a happy life
109
Other
16
Total votes: 134 (132 voters)
Poll is closed
05/18/2012
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ksparkles16 ksparkles16
I don't think kids are necessary for a happy life but I do think they can make your life happy if that's what you want. If you don't want kids, and have kids you are always going to want to blame them for taking your freedom away. This isn't fair for them or for you. I feel the same way you do. I don't really want kids. Maybe that will change someday, but I'm content for now. Although, no one has bugged me yet! I'm only 23
05/18/2012
mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by sweetpea12
Do you think that it's important to have kids? I really have never been interested in children in any way, whatsoever. And people keep pressuring me and getting freaked out that I have this opinion. I just really never want kids, and I never want ... More
my kids are my life and everything; i'm a stay at home mom to my 3 and 4 yr old kids and i'd be lost without them in my life. They truly make me happy and complete, with my husband. Some people don't want kids and that's fine too; do what makes you happy
05/18/2012
funluvinmama funluvinmama
I would say it depends on the person. I know people who are happy with having kids in their lives. I also know a few who would be happier without kids (the kids would be better off too).

Only you will truly know if you will be happier with kids or not. Tell people that it is your life and your decision, you will decide what is best for you. Point out to them that you didn't make their life decisions and if they respect you, they should respect your choices.

I didn't think I would ever be ready for kids. My kids are 7 and 9, and I wouldn't change a thing. I love them both so much.
05/18/2012
Ryuson Ryuson
Okay, so as a species? Yes, it's important for the human race to procreate so that it can go on.

But as far as is it important for everyone to have kids? I mean there are a lot of good things that happen with kids, the same way that there are a lot of awesome perks to driving, but some people can't/shouldn't be behind the wheel of a motor vehicle.

If you want to have kids, go for it. If you're like "Meh, it happens it happens" then you know what, if it happens it happens. If you don't want kids at this point in your life? That's darned well, too! There's always a few years down the road, you can always adopt, you can die never having children, you can foster... Whatever role you want to have in the continuation of the human race is your own business, and I don't think that you should let others make that decision for you.
05/18/2012
Sex Positivity Sex Positivity
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
Okay, so as a species? Yes, it's important for the human race to procreate so that it can go on.

But as far as is it important for everyone to have kids? I mean there are a lot of good things that happen with kids, the same way that there ... More
Couldn't have said it better, myself.


But also want to mention there are over 135,000 children waiting to be adopted. Most of them are children of color over the age of 5, because they're the least likely to get adopted and will age out of the system. It's tragic, really.
05/18/2012
Sex Positivity Sex Positivity
Quote:
Originally posted by sweetpea12
Do you think that it's important to have kids? I really have never been interested in children in any way, whatsoever. And people keep pressuring me and getting freaked out that I have this opinion. I just really never want kids, and I never want ... More
This is something that is unfortunately common for women - people STILL think that the only purpose women serve is the have kids, or that they have to have kids to be complete. This is totally not true. You make your own decision.
05/18/2012
T&A1987 T&A1987
not my cup of tea. if the pressure builds, either confront those pressuring you, or get your tubes tied. as confrontation is less dangerous than the surgery, that's probably the better option. I'm hoping for a vasectomy soon.
05/18/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
No!!! Some people just know they don't want kids, or they don't like kids, or want that responsibility. People shouldn't just have them to....experience it? If you don't want children it is selfish to get pregnant or atleast not take the proper steps in preventing it. There is nothing wrong with not wanting one and it's no one's right to harp on you about it. But I do see that our society just kind of expects that all women want atleast one and that isn't the reality.
05/18/2012
Master DarkWolf Master DarkWolf
They aren't necessary but I'm happy for mine.
05/18/2012
DreamWolf DreamWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Master DarkWolf
They aren't necessary but I'm happy for mine.
Agreed! ^^
05/18/2012
<3BF <3BF
having kids would certainly be a rewarding adventure, but they aren't something we need or want right now.
05/18/2012
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Sweets, you're only 20-years-old! Who in their right mind would be ragging on a barely legal infant (as we call your age in law courses) to have children?? If it's family, put up a boundary with the sign "RESPECT"; if it's friends, find a better group of people to hang out with.
05/18/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I think it depends on the person, people who want kids and want to have them and can take care of them; having kids is great. For those who don't want kids; not a good idea at all.

I do NOT believe in the "as soon as you hold that baby in your arms, all your doubts will stop." Bullshit. I work in Maternal/Infant care, and I see plenty of women who didn't want kids, had them due to pressure, then "held that baby in her arms".... and still didn't want the baby. This is a tragedy for everyone involved.

If you don't want kids don't have them. You are an adult and you have a right to make decisions for your own body and your own life.

I LOVE my kids, but that is what is right for ME and my husband. Just because I love children doesn't mean I expect other people to all want them.

It's a personal decision. I know a lot of people who don't have children who have wonderful, full, happy lives. No reason to bring an other human into the world, unless you want to have babies more than anything in the world.
05/18/2012
Badass Badass
For me, it is a necessity to one have either adopt or birth a child.
05/18/2012
T&A1987 T&A1987
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
For me, it is a necessity to one have either adopt or birth a child.
may i ask why?
05/18/2012
RTC RTC
I don't think it's necessary to have kids to have a happy life. If someone doesn't want children, there's nothing wrong with that and they just shouldn't have them, in my opinion! I personally do want kids and would feel unhappy and disappointed if I never had a child, but my personal feelings certainly aren't the same case for others.
05/18/2012
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
As for personal satisfaction, no. It varies from person to person. Mother Teresa never had any kids. Did she not have a fulfilling life? I would say it's everyone's individual choice.
05/18/2012
comatose-kitty comatose-kitty
they're far from necessary
05/18/2012
Beck Beck
My answer was other. Because I don't think yes or no is the right answer. Most of us want children because it's instinct to procreate. As instinct is survival. We can't have survival if NO ONE has children. The world would be over run with something that isn't human. (My bet is on cats. You see how fast they breed.)

I don't think children bring everyone happiness because everyone isn't cut out for parent hood. However, children bring myself happiness. Nothing was more beautiful for myself than when my children were born and I touched them for the first time. It's such a magical experience that brings the whole room to tears of joy. But it's understandable that not everyone wants children. And for some people that is the best thing.

There is NO right answer to this because it's a personal opinion.
05/18/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
may i ask why?
Probably because she is a women with maternal instincts.
05/18/2012
Nora29714 Nora29714
i'm 40 my husband and i don't have kids...
05/18/2012
Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
may i ask why?
because i feel a pull toward children and feel it is something i need to do. i feel like my life will not be complete without having a child..

i know not everyone feels that way, and thats cool if thats what you want... but for me, i do seriously want children one day.. if i could give birth to just one I would be happy..

Ive fought with endo for years.. i've got half an ovary in my oven and am in debt for hospitalization for it a few times and for the removal of the other one.. all the bull i've had to deal with just to keep my one half of an ovary, and the only thing i want out of the deal is a child..
I mean, if I cant conceieve, I can't conceieve... I'm not delusional, I know odds are I will not, but even then adoption would be my very next stop..
Maybe its maternal instincts.. maybe its just me... but I really really really REALLLY times a million, want to raise a child.(when I am stable enough financially and socially, of course.)
05/18/2012
Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
My answer was other. Because I don't think yes or no is the right answer. Most of us want children because it's instinct to procreate. As instinct is survival. We can't have survival if NO ONE has children. The world would be over run ... More
2 things.. 1st, no way it would be cats. it would for sure be rodents. eeeek!
lol. i'm playing, maybe cats, very fat cats from eating all the rodents.

2nd, the second paragraph of your statement is exactly it. having a baby growing inside you for 9 months and then it is in your arms... something you and your lover created through making love.. ideally i would bear my own children.. and THAT is exactly why...

of course there is no right answer, the right answer for you is relative to who you are. the right answer for me is try try try again. But the Correct answer for sweetpea12 may be no, the right answer is relative, and no one can tell you the answer but yourself.
05/18/2012
Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
Okay, so as a species? Yes, it's important for the human race to procreate so that it can go on.

But as far as is it important for everyone to have kids? I mean there are a lot of good things that happen with kids, the same way that there ... More
Great response Ryu! I agree with this.
05/18/2012
T&A1987 T&A1987
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
My answer was other. Because I don't think yes or no is the right answer. Most of us want children because it's instinct to procreate. As instinct is survival. We can't have survival if NO ONE has children. The world would be over run ... More
I've always said that if humans go, i hope super intelligent cats take over.
05/18/2012
T&A1987 T&A1987
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
because i feel a pull toward children and feel it is something i need to do. i feel like my life will not be complete without having a child..

i know not everyone feels that way, and thats cool if thats what you want... but for me, i do ... More
I think I misunderstood your original statement. when you said "For me, it is a necessity to one have either adopt or birth a child" I thought you meant that it was a necessity for everyone to have kids. as though there was a typo, that you meant to say "it is a necessity for one to either adopt or birth a child." after your statement, it sounds more like you meant "For me, it is a necessity to EITHER adopt or birth a child."

I thought you were saying EVERYONE had to either have a kid, or adopt, but now it seems like that is not the case.
05/18/2012
T&A1987 T&A1987
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
2 things.. 1st, no way it would be cats. it would for sure be rodents. eeeek!
lol. i'm playing, maybe cats, very fat cats from eating all the rodents.

2nd, the second paragraph of your statement is exactly it. having a baby growing ... More
I agree that the growing and holding and raising the baby is probably the key aspect to this whole equation. Imagine that everyone has a value for those feelings and other feelings associated with parenthood. either a scale of 1-100, or perhaps a dollar scale, representing how lost income and extra expenses a baby is worth. for some, it's quite high, explaining why they want children, others quite low. here are mine for example.

Dollar value scale

feeling of being a mother: N/A

holding the child for the first time: $0

Raising it: $0

Misc parenthood events (plays, baseball games, teaching it to be like you, etc, etc): $0

having something that looks like you: $0

continuing the bloodline: $0

on a 0-100 scale, the answers would be the same. All I see are the costs of being a parent, whereas I don't get the point of any of the "benefits." That's why I do not want children.
05/18/2012
ejrbrndps ejrbrndps
I want a few ones
05/18/2012
Gracie Gracie
I agree with many of the things already said. Its a yes and no answer. Yes sombody needs to have children. No, not everybody needs children. In fact i see parenting all the time that reinforces the idea that not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Yes for me it was important to become a mother.
05/18/2012
Total posts: 101
Unique posters: 88