What to try if your partner is picky

Deidrenicole Deidrenicole
Im having some trouble picking out toys and such lately because my boyfriend has made it pretty obvious that he feels threatened by lubes and toys that dont really involve him. Does anyone have suggestions about what things I could buy to spice it up and maybe get him to be more open minded?
01/18/2012
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Tagmstr Tagmstr
Quote:
Originally posted by Deidrenicole
Im having some trouble picking out toys and such lately because my boyfriend has made it pretty obvious that he feels threatened by lubes and toys that dont really involve him. Does anyone have suggestions about what things I could buy to spice it up ... More
Personally I think you should have him browse EF with you and show him all the great stuff for HIM!
I would say either a cock ring, cause that will benefit the both of you.
Or even a masturbator for you to use on him during foreplay.

My best advise would be to just ask him, how would you feel about *insert product here* and just talk about it. Make sure you explain to him that if you are looking at toys for yourself, its not just for you. You are looking at them to use as a couple. Toys can really add a lot to sex that wasn't there before.

If you guys haven't talked about using toys much he might feel that he isn't pleasing you and feels that you may be trying to replace him with a toy. Assure him that isn't the case!
01/18/2012
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Many of the couples toys, Under the Bed Restraints, can involve both of you without having anything to do with vibes that he might feel left out. Then, as you start getting used to having those things around the bedroom. Show him how you can use a vibe at the same time you're with him - such as cowgirl style. Then, finally, you can introduce him to vibes that he might enjoy for just himself like a vibrating ring or plug.
01/18/2012
js250 js250
My husband started out with small things for me. I wasn't threatened as much as embarrassed and a bit insecure about using them with his knowledge. A few movies and the old-that looks fun. Making a movie of him masturbating and getting off -- as a surprise for me!! (Loved that!) He played with me using small toys he bought for me, a vibrating cock ring, rabbit vibe, pocket rockets, etc. Start with small, fun and non-invasive items or movies and slowly, with a lot of understanding, work your way up!! I am now the toy selector and reviewer, have legally downloaded more porn than most people have ever seen, masturbate for and with him regularly and we both have fulfilled the majority of our current fantasies and are working on more!! The closeness is amazing and sometimes it can extend to other parts of your lives. We are going through a bit of a difficult time right now but are working hard to make us work out. Without the bond from sharing so much of our deeply personal and sexual thoughts and actions (most people keep secret), we would not have been able or wanted to work it out. There are other benefits of the added sexual adventures you share together as well!!
01/18/2012
Squidget Squidget
Quote:
Originally posted by Tagmstr
Personally I think you should have him browse EF with you and show him all the great stuff for HIM!
I would say either a cock ring, cause that will benefit the both of you.
Or even a masturbator for you to use on him during foreplay.

My ... More
I agree with this! I let my boyfriend browse EF and add things to the wish list that he'd like to use. Most of it is just lingerie, sure, but just make sure to try non-threatening items. Or try and make them for his benefit; I told mine the grape-flavored lube we bought was for when I go down on him (mostly true).
02/03/2012
corsetsaurus rex corsetsaurus rex
Lingerie or restraints of any kind is an awesome choice. Everyone loves cuffs!
03/05/2012
CindyH CindyH
let him sit down with you and show him what is there for him
03/05/2012
konicaguy konicaguy
We (men) are just afraid we are being replaced... My wife goes out of her way to assure me she wants the real thing more than any toy we own.
07/05/2012
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 8