I can definitely relate to this. My husband and I have only been married for 6 months (been together 2 1/2 years). We've had two daughters together and I have two older children from a previous marriage. Im 27 years old, I should NOT be having
I can definitely relate to this. My husband and I have only been married for 6 months (been together 2 1/2 years). We've had two daughters together and I have two older children from a previous marriage. Im 27 years old, I should NOT be having this problem! (is exactly what i thought to myself). Heres what I did:
1. Promised myself to try something new. (Wear more lingerie, step outside my comfort zone when it comes to sexual positions or places) etc.
And just because you're needing help in the "sex life" dept..that doesn't mean you HAVE to do things in the bedroom differently. Try working on the stuff outside the bedroom and it might spark some wild stuff in the bedroom.
2. Talk to him. I had to talk to my husband, and I know it was either going to be awkward to tell him, or he'd react unpleasantly about how unsatisfied I was. But, when I went about it the way I did, he understood and we both agreed that something had to be done. We still loved each other, but we just didn't have that drive towards each other like we did when we were dating. COMMUNICATION is something that you have to have in a relationship, especially when it comes to sex. Don't be afraid to tell him how you really feel. Besides, if he doesn't know how you feel or that there is something wrong, how can he help fix it?
3. SENSUALITY. This is something a lot of relationships lack after marriage, kids, stress etc. There is "never any time" to sit back and do the sensual stuff. Massages, the "little things" like drawing a bath or just holding each others hands and watching a movie. These are imperative to keeping the spark alive between you two. When appreciation gestures are given....it gives the other person a sense of appreciation and being wanted, desired, needed, etc.
4. SURPRISES! Everyone loves a little surprise every once in a while! Why not surprise him with you in a cute piece of lingerie, all dolled up....when he walks through the door from work, or running errands or what not. Maybe make his favorite dinner/dessert and a movie.....make a move on him during the movie and "forget to watch the rest of it" LOL.
5. FLIRT with each other! I found that when I messed with my hubby via text messages, facebook chat messages, sent sexy pictures via cell phone, leave a naughty note in his lunch box or in the car(Somewhere he'll see it when he leaves). That gives him something to look forward to when he gets home, and the tension and excitement will build up throughout the day....when he gets home...BAM! lol. Worked for us anyways.
6. Make a list: (This is something we did and it really helped). Have each of you grab note cards and separately write down at the top of each card a fantasy(or something you'd like to improve on more-suggestions for the other partner). Then, describe the fantasy below on the rest of the note card. Do about 3 or 4 to start with. Once you both have your cards filled out, Place them in a box/bag and once a week draw a card from that bag. Follow the fantasies on that card (or work on those improvement) that night.
Just because you're married, doesn't mean you can't have fun! Think back to some of the things you did when you were dating that used to get things going or spark that fire and keep doing them!
Hope this helps and good luck. Im still struggling with my relationship too, but with a little boost from EF lately, and some of the tips I mentioned above, we're doing much better Don't give up !