For dildos/vibrators I have three stashes generally. 1- Mine. Toys only I use. I don't share these at all. 2- Me and/or a partner. These are just for me and my primary partner. Either they were bought by us for us or one of us bought it for the other. 3- Communal. These are toys that I don't mind sharing with proper cleaning procedures/condoms in place.
For BDSM toys. If it is something that can come in contact with fluids (whether that be seminal/vaginal fluids or blood) then it is just for that partner/me. If it is something that does not come in contact with fluids, I don't mind using it between multiple partners.
There is a bunch of open communication about toy cleaning/sharing between me and my partners. If someone were to ask for a non-sharable toy, I would do that in a heartbeat, it's respectful and about hygiene.