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Cute, not Convenient

Stinky slimy jelly dong, anyone? Certainly the idea of this sexy and easy to use heart-shaped harness set is great, but the lack of decent materials and the cheapness of the overall design is, unfortunately, a turn-off.
Published:
Pros:
Sexy, sleek, easy to use, flatters full figures.
Cons:
Jelly dildo, smelly, slimy, cheaply made.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

I'm not plus-sized, but I have to say that this thing has a wonderful range of size it can allow. This harness and dildo set (topped off with a nice and simple nylon blindfold) can satisfy your urge to have a pretty cock and look sexy, rather than some big, bulky, utility belt of a harness. The harness is soft, breathes well, and has a unique and somewhat shimmery heart-shaped front. However, where style comes in strong, durability falters. The straps are thin and rough (mine came with a bit of fraying) with plastic clasps that look a bit questionable, but they're very easy to adjust and pretty good for beginners. Now, I have to admit I had a difficult time reviewing this item, because it smelled absolutely awful. I was initially shipped an item that was damaged and coated in a very toxic smelling goo, which Eden kindly replaced after I informed them. The second one had goo as well, though not as severe, and smells horrid as well, though not quite so badly. None the less, both are currently residing in my storage until I get the first shipped back. The smell is enough to make me ill.

If you're new to a harness, this kit is great, but be gentle with it and don't expect it to last through many rough sessions.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gender play
    • Pegging
    • Strap-on sex
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere dry
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly

Material

First and foremost, the dildo is made of some sort of jelly. Not quality jelly even, but something more along the lines of slimy rubber. It smells incredibly foul and I cannot for the life of me get rid of the stink and greasy texture, even after soaking it overnight and scrubbing it with toy cleaner and, eventually, nearly every kind of detergent in my house. It smells like some kind of toxic chemical that makes my stomach turn and I had to air out the entire house after opening the box. Eventually I had to double-wrap it in plastic bags and put it in the storage because I just couldn't handle the stink. It also stunk up the blindfold, harness, and box it came in. I originally assumed it to be a defect, but the second set sent to replace it was the same way.

As for the harness, the front panel is made of a very low quality, thin leather that is already cracking something fierce, and the seams are rough and large and coming loose. The shiny pink stuff appears to be some sort of leather paint, but it will likely stain easily. The straps are a fairly sturdy nylon, though the plastic pieces used for adjustment are thin and look as if they could break with relative ease given enough use.

The blindfold is a typical nylon blindfold and pretty comfortable. It is the only piece I would probably consider to be kept in my collection if it wasn't so stinky from being in the box with the dildo.
    • Mixed materials
    • Smooth

Design / Craftsmanship

Suffice to say, this item is of cheap quality material-wise, and cheap quality design-wise. It's certainly very cute and much nicer looking than most harnesses, but it looks and feels like it's about to come apart. The o-ring is rubber and floppy and while you could probably use other small dildos with a base, it won't fit anything medium to large in size. The harness is easy and simple to use and definitely allows for plenty of size adjustment for bigger folks, but I'd only suggest getting it if you're curious about using a harness and don't want to spend very much.

The dildo is pretty plain. It's small and sleek and has no texture to it, aside from the goo. The jelly is very low grade and will probably tear easily, however, and given that it is jelly, you'll need to be careful about keeping it clean and use a condom on it at all times.

The blindfold itself is pretty decent. It's not fancy, but it's well enough made that it will last much longer than the rest of the kit. It's comfortable and blocks out light quite well, with an elastic band to go around the head.

What I would do is toss the dildo and replace it with a better quality one, because it's hard to find a harness for plus size individuals and, even more so, something that is cute, non-bulky, and feminizing.
    • Flimsy
    • Stylish

Size / Fit

Boasting enough strap length to fit up to 48 inches, this will certainly be wearable by most larger individuals. The straps are actually quite sturdy and easy to adjust with nonslip plastic clasps, but they do seem a bit questionable strength-wise. This is great for beginners in that it's very simply and user-friendly, and given that the straps wrap around the hips and thighs, shouldn't slip too much. However, given the unusual heart shape of the harness, the cock sits rather high and might feel a little odd to those who like it in a more natural area. The rubber o-ring, which is not interchangeable, fits 1 to 1 1/4 inches in diameter, so we're talking a pretty small cock.

The dildo fits nicely in the o-ring, given that it is very small and has a wide, thick, pronounced base, measuring about one-fourth of an inch thick. The cock itself allows five inches of insertion, and it is smooth and lacking of any texture at all. This is great for those who are just starting out with being penetrated, but if you want something filling or that will hit a g- or p-spot, you might want to switch it out with something else. Compared to many other dildos on the market, however, it isn't intimidating in appearance, shape, or size.

The blindfold is elastic and fits pretty snugly, so I imagine it should do fine for any head size.
    • Adjustable
    • Fits comfortably
    • Will fit most body sizes and types

Performance

I think the best thing about this item is the overall cute and sexy design. Rarely do harnesses come along looking sleek and feminine, and this one certainly does the job. It is modest in build, and the straps are so simple to work that you can have it on and ready to go in a moment's notice, rather than having an awkward 5 - 10 minutes of battling a harness to get it prepared. I like that the straps go around the thighs and waist rather than flossing your ass during sex. The heart panel in the front is a bit floppy and wriggly, but the dildo does stay firmly in place, as do the straps once adjusted to your liking. Being a tough nylon, the straps can chafe a bit, but that's fairly typical for anything that isn't high quality leather.

The dildo being so smooth will slide in quite easily, but remember to wear a condom as with any jelly toy. I personally prefer to wear something with at least some texture, but if you're new to being penetrated, this is a great, non-intimidating toy.

The blindfold holds on very well and doesn't slip or budge much. It might slide a bit if you're wriggling all over the place, but that can be said of any blindfold.
    • Chafes
    • Easy to put on
    • Holds toys very well

Care and Maintenance

Since the front panel is leather, this item should not be submerged in water. Keep it clean, and as with all toys, wipe it down well after use, making sure to dry it completely. A bit of leather treatment now and again might help the leather to not flake or crack, though with the odd pink, shiny paint, I can't be sure.

Jelly is porous and harbors all kinds of bacteria and body fluids like crazy. Always use a condom on the dildo, keep it separate from other toys, and use very mild toy cleaner or soap to clean it. If you have any bad reactions during sex, throw it away. I never keep a jelly for very long, because inevitably over time they can break down and will most certainly end up with bacteria in them from multiple uses.

Packaging

The package was rather obvious, so I don't suggest opening up the discreet delivery box from Eden in front of your parents. The dildo, harness, and blindfold all come in in a box with a vivid picture of the harness and dildo being worn on the front. The box is a simple, thin cardboard one and not meant for storage. Neither is the little plastic bag the dildo is kept in, which apparently didn't help to hold in the stink.

There were no instructions. Not in the box or on it.
    • Minimal
    • Not discreet

Personal comments

I think if a bit more time was put into the quality of this item and its materials, it would be a wonderful benefit to larger individuals and those wanting to look sexy and feminine, or just beginners in general. The concept is great. The materials are not.
    • Affordable
    • Cheap
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • Sir Sir
  • Rank:
     
    8.2
  • Edited reviews: 435
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Comments
  • Antipova
    Antipova  
    Wonderful job detailing the construction of the harness, even though the dildo stunk. Jelly is such a horrible material, they can't phase it out fast enough!
  • Ansley
    Ansley  
    Sounds and looks like a nightmare! Excellent attention to detail!
  • Jammin14580
    Jammin14580  
    Nice review
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