The Little dong that couldn't

In closing I would beg and plead with you not to get this little guy. I want to save you...save you from the disappointment we have over getting this toy that we will now look for an eco friendly way to get rid of.
Thank you for not getting this toy.
Published:
Pros
Small, easy to carry. Silent
Cons
Needs to be stiffer
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review
Ok folks...this little toy comes with all the normal stuff with it's packaging. A cardboard box with pretty pictures of this little guy on it, Company info and the like. You can Store this guy in the plastic bag that it was shipped in, inside the outer box. If you have kids maybe the box is not the best thing to store it in. Just saying.

Now onto the little guy himself. He is 6" long and about 1" around, though the box does not say so. That could be a downside if you are looking for a specific size. He is a little limp.(Hell, he is a limp dick. He is like a wet noodle!) He could be bent to find the g-spot, but I don't think he would stay there to make you feel good. We didn't try. He has ridges that are suppose to be veins that would feel great if he was a little stiffer. The vac-u-lock does work great though. Once you get it locked in place it stays there till you take it off.



This guy is made out of rubber. Not to be confused with a rubber which is used for safer sex practices.
Here is what Eden Fantasy says what rubber is: "An elastic hydrocarbon polymer which occurs as a milky emulsion in the sap of a number of plants but can also be produced synthetically."

Wow, that makes it sound totally like something I'd want to have inserted inside me or to insert in anyone else! However, it has been around for years and will continue for many more years.

Here is what Eden Fantasy says about its properties. Rubber is a porous material with exceptional wear-resistance and extremely long lifetime. It is dirt-repellent with a color range of more than 260 standard colors. Rubber has high footfall sound absorption without additional outlay and a cost-efficient cleaning without coating.

So let's see it's porous, which means it doesn't clean up easily if you don't use a condom. As long as you do use a condom on it, cleaning it will be a breeze. It will last a really long time and stay cleaner longer if you use condoms with it.
They say it is dirt repellent, just not fluid repellent.
It can come in 260 different colors, meaning it will take 260 different dyes.
(And you can use a lot of them to sound proof your room.)

Silicone and water based lubes are best to extend the life of the toy.

One last little tip: if you are into using the vac-u-lock adapter for power tools don't use this little guy with it! You'll turn your play partner in to a ER room naughty story.
Experience
I don't have a story to tell you guys about our adventures with the little guy because there weren't any. He couldn't get it up for us.
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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My Vac-u-lock dong tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Anyone
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Genitals
This review was edited by
  • phoenixfire Contributor: phoenixfire
  • Rank:
    5.2 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 28
Comments
Subscribe to comments
  • Contributor: Stinkytofu10
    Thank you for the review.
  • Contributor: britanny0620
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: r00ster
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: souviet
    Thanks!
  • Contributor: Falsepast
    Sorry you didn't like this one
  • Contributor: SydneyScreams
    thanks for the review I quite enjoyed your humorous style!
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