Checkmates the bishop - discreet massager by Evolved Novelties - review by Owl Identified

The Bishop is an affordable, accessible introduction to the world of insertable vibrators that is ideal for newcomers to the world of sex toys. This multi-speed vibe's compact, hand-held size won't scare off the skeptics, and its simple and user-friendly controls are easy to navigate. Without a flared base, this product should not be inserted into the rectum as one runs the risk of losing it to powerful sphincter muscles, but it's wonderful for light warm-up stimulation to the outer anus in order to relax before more involved anal play. This is also excellent for shallow vaginal stimulation as well as nipple, vulva and clitoral stimulation.

Because of this vibe's short length, it will not be long enough to hit all G-spots, so take a moment to consider its dimensions before ordering it for this purpose. However, if it's long enough, the bulbed end is perfect for firm, broad massage of this sensitive spot. Gentle flares in the Bishop's shaft also mean mild stimulation of the urethral sponge and inner labia. Enough for some extra sensation, but not enough to overwhelm those that do not favor intense texture. In other words? Perfect for a beginner that isn't quite sure what they want out of a vibrator yet!

Evolved Novelties' Checkmates Bishop is made from ABS plastic and coated with PU plastic, and is largely non-porous and safe for sharing. Polyurethane plastic as well as ABS plastic are variable materials that, though mostly non-porous, can harbor bacteria for a variety of reasons. For this reason, you may wish to use a barrier method such as a condom or dental dam when sharing or using anally in order to be as safe as possible.

The polyurethane plastic creates a bit of a softer feel to the hard plastic form beneath, but not much. This coating mostly only changes the friction created between it and the skin it contacts. The softer, sleeker matte texture of the PU is much more slick (especially with lube) than the typically gloss of hard ABS plastic. If you like a texture that "grabs" the skin and stays put, you won't love this, but if you like to slip and slide around a bit? The PU is a lot of fun and very low-friction!

This toy has no real taste or smell, other than a faint plastic scent.

Although the Bishop has a fairly straight forward design, its shape is thoughtful enough to include a few points of interest that keep things lively. The head has a bit of a bulbous, lollipop look to it which is wonderful to probing for the G-spot - especially if you're not yet an expert in finding yours. Though an intense arch (this toy is quite straight) is fully newbie-proof, the rounded tip on the Bishop is a close second best. To hit your G-spot you'll need to angle this toy upward toward the upper most wall of the vagina (behind the urethral sponge/pubic bone), but it will not require too much clever positioning. The little slopes in the shaft also provide nice stimulation as you're thrusting, but don't overwhelm your senses or irritate sensitive tissues.

If you enjoy the feeling of being "full" and prefer thicker, longer vibrators, this is not the toy for you. The Bishop has a slight 5.5" in length, and only about 3.5" of that can be inserted while maintaining a good grip. At the widest point this vibrator falls just shy of an inch, so it fails to make up for its length in width. However, if you are new to penetration or simply prefer smaller toys, this will suit your predilections quite nicely.

So far the Bishop has performed admirably in all categories of grading, but it fails to go above and beyond in its functions/controls. The Bishop is operated by a rather primitive dial base; gripping the white plastic ring and turning will open the battery compartment and remove the cap, while gripping the purple base and turning will start your vibrator's engine. When lube is involved (and this toy is compatible with all lubes) things can get slippery and the dial is hard to turn, and it can be easy to accidentally open the battery compartment instead of turning the toy on, and visa verse. A firm, dry grip does the trick though, and it's not an insurmountable inconvenience.

I can discern three distinct intensities in this dial-style range - low, medium and high. At the lowest setting you get a grumbling, lightly tickling vibration and at its highest the vibrations are of medium strength (think a strong mini bullet) and rather buzzy and shallow. They are not unpleasant vibrations, but they can become a bit irritating or numbing for sensitive users. They also may not be penetrating enough to tickle the fancy of those that favor deep, quaking vibrations. Vibrations seem to be located primarily in the upper half of the shaft, but do travel down to the base of the toy and throughout the shaft.

While this toy is waterproof, I would not personally recommend submerging it fully in water as the seal is a bit iffy. I could very easily see water leaking into the battery compartment, which is quite exposed beyond the seal. Running this under the faucet for a quick rinse shouldn't be a problem, and it would likely hold up to occasional shower play, but bathers beware and play at their own risk!

Evolved Novelties' Bishop is largely sanitizable but unable to be sterilized. A 10% bleach solution, toy cleaner or antibacterial soap and warm water will remove most microbes. Take care to clean any fluids caught in the seams around the dial and battery cap seal, using a Q-tip or a designated toothbrush of needed. As mentioned above, all lubes (silicone, water and oil) are compatible with this material and it's safe to store near all toy materials from silicone to silicone composites to rubber and beyond. The Bishop should not be stored with the AAA battery it requires in its compartment, as this can wear out the contacts as well as drain your battery in storage!