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Armor For Your Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love

This is my first cock ring but I would say if you need one or want to try one, keep looking. The bullet that comes with it is nice though!
Published:
Pros:
Nice waterproof bullet, comfortable.
Cons:
Didn't do much for me or my wife, not easy to take off.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

This is basically a cock ring / Exciter / Support System / Penis Cage. Being my first cock ring, I didn't know what to expect from this doogagie(that's pirate speak for a whatcha ma callit). It doesn't have an official name and honestly, I wouldn't know what to call it either.

It has a "Patented Stainless Steel Support System" that helps keep the blood in your warrior. The extended head exciter looks like my wife would definitely enjoy the extra girth it will give me at the base. Hey, no snickering, she says I'm the perfect size for her...

It also comes with a three speed bullet that actually pretty nice! It's fully waterproof and comes with the most odd battery I've seen in awhile (it's like a AAA chopped in half). The low speed is good for those that don't like a ton of stimulation but once you get to the third speed you could use the thing to break the tile out of your bathroom! Okay, maybe not THAT strong but I imagine many people would think it's plenty powerful. Plus it has a pointy tip on it instead of the usual symmetrical roundness on either end. I know my wife is going to like me using that on her clit!

The bullet can be used independently or with the "Exciter". The sleeve that the bullet goes in has little nubbies on it to enhance the pleasure.

The Exciter doesn't come with any directions for use but under the UPC code in small letters is this:

"IMPORTANT WARNING: ...Use no more than 30 minutes at a time. Allow 60 minutes between addition use..."

There was more under the warning but I thought this was the most useful. Basically, if you use it too long your johnson will either bruise or fall off because it's not getting enough blood circulation capishe?!?! Oh yeah, it says don't fall asleep or use it under the influence of drugs or alcohol!

Material / Texture

The cock ring is made from "Stretchy TPR". I didn't google it but I assume that's some kind of rubber. At the base there's two half moon shaped stainless steel pieces that assist in keeping the proper shape. It feels like your typical jelly dildo or butt plug. If you don't have either, think of those funky jelly shoes girls used to wear in the summer, only a little more floppy.

The Bullet is made of ABS (plastic) with silver plating. Inside the battery compartment there's a little piece of paper that tells you which way the battery goes in. I left that in place to help keep the rattle down from the battery. I'm still amazed at how nice this bullet is...quiet too!

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

It's hard to describe what I think about the shape of this thing. It's obviously a cock ring but the additional cage is the odd part. It's tapered at the top and then gets wider toward the base of the cage. Once it gets to the three attachment points to the cock ring, the width goes pretty narrow so your lady should be able to contract around it. Pretty cool. I have a funny feeling that my wife is going to love getting on top of me when I have this on!

When the bullet is in place, it may be a little too wide for us, we'll have to see. I used it once for masturbating and I turned the whole thing upside down so the bullet was on my balls. That was niiiice. I think I'll give that a whirl with my wife too. That way it will tickle her butt while I'm inside her.

Because of the overall surface area of the material, I wasn't able to put this on when I was soft so I had to get semi-hard first, lube it up, then slide it on. When I was done, I had to wait until I got semi-hard again to take it off. Once it was on it was quite comfortable. I wish it could have gone a little further to the base of my penis but I think I had it stretched as far as it could go. I like the feeling of going deep but it was definitely all the way on. I'm a pretty normal sized guy and I think if you did have a big penis this may not work for you.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The bullet is easy to use. The whole unit is a little over 3" long believe it or not. There's a little button at the base of it. With each push of the button it cycles through low, medium, and high speeds. The last push turns it off! As I said earlier, the speeds they chose for this bullet are great in my opinion. The low speed is great for timid people like my wife but the other two speeds ramp up to quite a rumble. The bullet is quiet too! Even at high speed there's no way you could hear it through the door. I'm no bullet expert, but the overall feel and vibration of this silver tramp is impressive!

Care and Maintenance

The package says to use water-based lube only but I tried some Pjur and JO silicone lube and they both had no ill-effects. Test it yourself though before you use one. Clean-up was easy, a little anti-bacterial soap and water. Since the bullet is waterproof you can run it under the faucet as well. There is no storage container for it so I put it in a plastic baggy and threw it in the Toy Sack.

Packaging

The packaging for this toy is minimal, the one thing I did appreciate is both the cock ring and vibrator were wrapped in sealed plastic to keep them clean. I'm not sure what else they could honestly do though, I'm keeping it in a Ziploc bag so I don't have to search around for both parts.

Experience

I gave this three stars because the bullet that comes with it is pretty nice. Otherwise, I've used this for masturbation and it was the usual. It did however keep me harder than normal. Since it prevents the blood from flowing back out of your penis that was kinda neat. The extended cage didn't help with stimulation at all. Actually, it prohibited stimulation for masturbating. I definitely wouldn't recommend this for solo use if that's what you're looking for.

As for using this with my wife, not much there either. We started out using it alone (without the vibrator). She said she couldn't feel anything different than without it. Once I put in the vibrator she said it was uncomfortable more than anything. I think due to the size of the vibrator (3") it was too wide for her or something. Either way, I didn't keep it on long because if she doesn't feel good, I don't feel good if you know what I mean.

Overall, I guess if you need a cock ring to help keep you hard this would work fairly well. I'd probably look for something a little less obtrusive though. Me, I'm sticking with my prostate massager!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • ~LaUr3n~
    ~LaUr3n~  
    Well too bad it just didn't do what it claimed to Sad face. At least it was comfortable. Thanks for the review!
  • ~LaUr3n~
    ~LaUr3n~  
    If you are going to include that you used the bullet anally on your gf, you need to include how dangerous this is. The bullet has no flare and is not a safe size for anal play. Include that you do not recommend this.
  • Sammi
    Sammi  
    Definitely be careful with the bullet - it's not safe for anal use.

    Sorry this didn't work out so well for you :-(
    Nice review!
  • NuMe
    NuMe  
    Very nice review!
  • Captain Stubing
    Captain Stubing  
    I apologize, I did forget to mention that! We just used the tip and I had a death grip on it for just that reason.
  • Captain Stubing
    Captain Stubing  
    Actually, I'll just delete that part...
  • pinkzombie
    pinkzombie  
    Nice review!
  • fishbat
    fishbat  
  • SexyStuff
    SexyStuff  
    Awesome, thanks!
  • ILikeShinyThings
    ILikeShinyThings  
    Great review!
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