Female love doll discontinued
by

Brigitte, The (Not A Lot To) Love Doll

With bugged out eyes and a mouth in a permanent gaping scream you can overlook once you get to know Brigitte and how versatile albeit an unwilling but silent partner she is. She floats, she looks good in a little black dress, and she doesn't mess up your apartment.
Published:
Pros
Brigitte never spills your secrets. She is a silent partner.
Cons
Brigitte doesn't bend, she's also scary looking, and she falls out of bed.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
Brigitte comes in a cardboard box with a sultry brunette with bedroom eyes, long tawny hair, a pulled down black fishnet bra, thigh highs and a triangular trimmed patch of pubic hair.

Brigitte"The Ultimate Fantasy Love Doll" the box proclaims, along with "My Willing Pussy is Ready for you and so is my Hungry Mouth and Firm Ass" (Capitalizations are courtesy of the box, not myself).

There are inflation instructions in English and five other European languages. (No Asian languages or Middle Eastern or Slavic based instructions, sorry.) The instructions show you how to inflate with a foot pump (not included, but I inflated her easily the old fashioned way - with my mouth). There were also vinyl and glue repair kit instructions. Neither product was included in the box.

Brigitte has a copyright of 1996 on the box, making her a minor, so having sex with her is statutory rape.

Brigitte, once inflated, looks nothing like the woman on the box. She is vinyl and can not stand up on her own, nor can she sit down. She kind of caves in at the ankles and falls over. She's has permanently pointed feet like she spent her life in pointe shoes (for ballet) and all her toes grew together. She has lobster claw hands. This may or may not add to the fetish factor.

The back of Brigitte's head is vinyl in a brown color, with two tiny hanks of vinyl hair in rubber bands with red ribbons around each as a pig tail. Pig tails on women are not sexy, but remember, Brigitte was born in '96.

Brigitte has a dent in the middle of her forehead (fully inflated), and surprised painted on blue eyes. Her eyeshadow is applied exactly like Mimi's from the Drew Carey Show. She appears to be screaming, horror movie style, her mouth and enormous, thin lipped, gaping hole. Between the mouth, the bugged out looking eyes, and the edentulous mouth, she looks like a meth addict.

Brigitte has reinforced vinyl breasts (not soft or voluptuous by any stretch of the imagination) but she does have pert pink nipples. She has no belly button, but she does have a lot of seams.

I did have to pop her cherry, her vagina was placed on her lower abdomen. I used cuticle scissors to perform the operation. I also performed anal sphincterplasty and discovered she had a slightly prolapsed rectal vault.

She smelled a little bit like a CPR dummy I once knew....

Love Dolls have always been with us. The Greek writer, Ovid, tells of a man named Pygmalion who carved a love doll out of ivory and slept with her, had sex with her, bathed her, and even attempted to feed her, and named her Galatea. Legend has it, Aphrodite brought her to life.

Sailors have been know to bring cloth love dolls on voyages. The Germans have their "Seemannsbraught", the French have "Dame de Voyage" and the Spanish "Dama di Viaje".

Love Dolls can be inexpensive and made from inflatable vinyl like my gal pal Brigitte, to heavier Latex models with mannequin heads, formed fingers, molded water filled breasts and simulated, padded vibrating orifices. The best quality Latex dolls are currently made in France and in Hungary.

There are also very pricey silicone love dolls that can cost several grand and have PVC or metal skeletons inside and are rather lifelike. These are made in US and the best are from Japan. There are actual rental agencies in Japan that will bring a love doll to your home or business, or there are Love Doll Hotels like Doru No Mori.
Experience
I was not successful fucking Bridgette with Vixen Creation's Goodfellow, but I was successful using the Feeldoe regular. You can not penetrate very far. She is thankfully silent even when I pegged her, our apartment walls are paper thin. You also can't really bend her into positions or put weight on her because she weighs... nothing. She still has the surprised look and the screaming mouth, so I cleaned her up and put a dress on her. She wears a size small. It's a little black dress from Forever 21 I would not be caught dead in, but she looks suitably slutty in it. Anyway, I found it on sale and it fits her. She just wouldn't look right in a T shirt and khaki shorts.

Later yesterday evening, I put a bathing suit on her and took her to the apartment pool, because no one was out there. Apparently there is a security camera, and I got a citation for a 50 dollar fine for my "lewd pool toy".

Bridgette may not bend well and is an unwilling sex partner, but she does float well on her back in the pool. My girlfriend was worried that Brigitte would replace her when she saw the box, but once she met Brigitte, all her fears were gone.
Follow-up commentary
Since I had last taken Brigitte on an excursion to the apartment's pool, a week later she took the elevator to meet one of my Army friends. A couple stepped on and did not like Brigitte. Now there is a camera in the elevator. Brigitte is banned from the elevator and she is not even allowed to peak out of the window, even fully dressed in a Hawaiian Rainbow Warriors Football Official T Shirt. Its the expression on her face. I think if she was an anime doll or looked like Sailor Moon, the neighbors would invite her to the pool. Or if she looked like a local gal, (your basic Japanese Portugese, Filipino Korean Irish one fiftieth of one percent Hawaiian Chinese mix) she could even ridde the bus, and probabley for free if she didn't look so startled.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: removedacnt
    OMG! That last section was too funny! I'm sure you're not laughing about the fine but it did crack me up. Possibly fine them for being peeping toms.

    Great review!
  • Contributor: spicywife
    Very humorous - great review Smile
  • Contributor: Avery Dragon
    Absolutely amazing review! Big smile Had me laughing for quite some time
  • Contributor: Red
    Holy crap, that's funny.

    You could probably argue that charge, if she really was in a swimsuit. I doubt that there's any wording in your rental agreement that actually disallows a human shaped pool toy.

    That's still the funniest thing I've read all day.
  • Contributor: deceased
    She wears a small , so I got her a brown one piece on clearance at Ross. It looked like it would fit, so if any of you have Brigitte, she fits in a size six swim suit.

    I think it was her face they objected to . "You know small children and old people with bad hearts live here!!! "

    The really cool thing was that I could fit a snorkle in her mouth, and I made it stay with a pair of children's cheap goggle I found at the pool.
  • Contributor: LiftedUp
    Excellent review. Sounds quite similar to the love doll experience I had from EF as well. Thanks for the laughs!
  • Contributor: LicentiouslyYours
    It's sad when kids are ostracized like this. You would think the community would be more tolerant and accepting of Brigitte.

    This review and follow-up made my morning. Well done!
  • Contributor: Backseat Boohoo
    "Brigitte has a copyright of 1996 on the box, making her a minor, so having sex with her is statutory rape."

    This review is 100% classic comedy gold.
  • Contributor: 2BudZ
    Excellent....about spilled my coffee reading this review from laughing so much...thanks Misha and great review!
  • Contributor: Airen Wolf
    OMG So ok are there any more stories from the Bridgitte vault??
    Excellent review!
  • Contributor: fromazoo
    good review
  • Contributor: Enchantedkitty
    Ha, great review.
  • Contributor: krisvida
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: LavenderSkies
    Thanks!
  • Contributor: Blooddragon
    Thank you!
  • Contributor: catalunalilith
  • Contributor: Kdlips
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: Lunacy Setting in
    This is the funniest review I have ever read on EF. Thanks for that.
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