Like a Virgin... in all the Worst Ways

Pipedream's A.T.M. masturbator was my boyfriend's first and, according to him, it felt like all the bad parts of a first time. It was too tight, too messy, and you can't tell the difference between one hole and the other. The awkward, mediocre pleasure, that can be squeezed from this Fantaflesh toy, is hardly worth the trouble in the cleaning and maintenance that this toy demands (to be good for more than one go).
Published:
Pros
Very tight (if you like that sort of thing).
Cons
No texture whatsoever, no difference between the entrances, may be too tight, makes a mess.
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review
My boyfriend has never in his life used a pocket pussy before, never mind a pocket Ass-to-Mouth masturbator. I go to school in a city a few hours away, so Pipedream's ATM seemed like a toy that would help him ‘survive’ between my visits. However, within a few days of the arrival of the masturbator, it quickly became apparent that it was more trouble than it was worth.

The Pipedream ATM masturbator comes in a cardboard box depicting the two ends of the toy and a lingerie-clad model. It's definitely not something you can have sticking out of the garbage and pretend it's something else. Inside the box is the sleeve in a plastic bag, and a sample tube each of lube, and toy cleaner.

The Fantaflesh sleeve, aside from its creamy skin tone, does not aspire to be especially realistic in looks. One end is molded and colored to resemble a pair of parted Barbie lips, while the other end bears a vague likeness to some unfortunate individual's butt cheeks. Both ends feature a tiny pinprick sized hole, which are opposite openings to the same tiny tunnel. Neither opening is shaped realistically. The hole is planted in the middle of the open mouth, leaving flesh colored material all around it within the boundary of the garishly colored lips. The ‘back’ entrance is similarly placed, sans lips.

The material is soft but has some traction to it, a little like damp skin but stickier. The ‘love canal’ isn't at all textured, and is just one smooth tube punched from one end to the other. My boyfriend used it on his own for the first run, and he described it as incredibly tight, almost to the point of discomfort. "It's almost like having sex with a virgin... awkward, tight, and you can't tell one hole from the other" he joked. There was no difference which side he was entering; both sides were the same smooth, tight hole. He also reported problems with popping out of the end, being on the larger side of average himself. He did not find this pleasurable; although I have heard that some men enjoy the ‘plowing out the other end’ sensation.

My boyfriend also had problems with lubing up the toy. Fantaflesh, as a skin-like material along the lines of UR3, cannot be used with silicone lube which is our favorite. The KY Jelly that was used instead caused a mess, due to the fact that the lube would drip out of the opposite end of the masturbator. In fact most of the lube ended up on the outside of the toy, making it slippery and incredibly difficult to handle. No matter how much lube he used, my boyfriend could not make the sleeve feel any better than his initial impression of "...eh". He was able to finish on the first run, although it took a while and it was not very satisfying.

After the initial use, the sleeve was washed with antibacterial soap and water and left to air dry, after which it was dusted lightly with corn starch. However, there is the question of whether enough corn starch was used. The second time he tried the ATM masturbator, he actually had to stop midway because its friction and tightness, even with liberal amounts of lube was making him sore. He then begged me for permission to throw the thing away.

The sample tubes of lube and cleaner were disposed of as well. I rubbed some of the lube between my fingers and found that it actually created a burning sensation on my skin. To my knowledge, the lube was not supposed to be a warming one, and even warming lubes have never felt uncomfortable like the sample lube did. The cleaner was lightly fragranced and foamed when I rubbed it between my palms. There were no instructions on how it was to be used, and we have our own soap as well as toy cleaner, so the sample was thrown away as well.

Overall, the ATM masturbator was a disappointment. It was my boyfriend's first masturbation sleeve, but hopefully not his last. There are definitely better quality masturbators out there. The ATM masturbator may be good for a gag gift, but for personal use? My boyfriend says that his hand is much more efficient, comfortable, and requires less clean up hassle.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Miss Cinnamon
    I'm open to questions if anyone has them. I realize that the review probably would have been more effective if I were in the possession of a penis, but unfortunately, I am lacking in that department. I do, however, disown the stranger comma placements that occur in this review... I'm pretty sure that's not where I left them.
  • Contributor: Barbarossa
    No worries, Miss Cinnamon, that was a very effective review!

    Perhaps your boyfriend would like "the tube love glove" - it is inexpensive, has great reviews, and it seems to be easier to clean.

    [https://www.edenfantasys.com/masturbators/masturbation-sleeves/tube-love-glove]
  • Contributor: Miss Cinnamon
    Barbarossa--Thanks Smile I have been looking at the Tube Love Glove as a possible next choice... or maybe the Maven. Something a little more functional. Thanks for the suggestion!
  • Contributor: Sammi
    Good review!
  • Contributor: Miss Cinnamon
    Sammi--Thanks!
  • Contributor: Naughty Student
    Sorry to hear it was such a hassle, thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: Miss Cinnamon
    Naughty Student--Eh... you win some, you lose some. Thanks for dropping by Smile
  • Contributor: Mamastoys
    Too bad it wasn't a good "first"! I'm looking for my hubby a pocket pussy too and your review makes me not want this one! At least I know what not to get!! Thanks for a good review (even if you dont possess a penis)!! Big smile
  • Contributor: Miss Cinnamon
    Mamastoys--What masturbators have you and your husband tried so far? I would really recommend against this one unless he likes overly messy, tight toys. Thanks for the comment!
  • Contributor: Mamastoys
    We haven't tried any yet! I want his first one to be good so he will enjoy it..I'll keep looking! Thanks a bunch!
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