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"The Ultimate Masturbator" - The Ultimate Irony

When it comes to masturbators, I typically look for something which either offers a positively unique experience which my own hand cannot provide, or which can augment a hand's ability to do what it does best with respect to masturbation. The GT seems to fail miserably when viewed through the scope of both.
Published:
Pros:
-Hygienic TPR construction
-Easy-inversion cleans well
-Comes with lube
-Name is "Gushy Tushy"
Cons:
-Inversion prevents pleasurable sensations
-Mentally and physically exhausting to use
-Over-priced
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
You can't judge a book by its cover. Unless, of course, the cover reads, "The Gushy Tushy". The name itself bleeds a brand of shameless delight that just grabs the attention of would-be buyers. The Gushy Tushy (GT) is a small, liquid-filled masturbator with an incredibly simple through-tube design. There is a primal allure associated with either exceedingly simple or exceedingly technical toys, from a man's perspective. The former category feeds a man's need for instant, unfettered gratification and the GT plays to that need. The company even throws in a complementary volume of lube, good for at least half a dozen sessions. What could be more simple? Lube it up, put your nethers in the hole, enjoy.

And then you open the clam-shell packaging, take the GT out and realize the true identity of the GT - cockus blockus. I didn't realize there could be so many flaws associated with such a simple design, but the GT has taught me a lesson I won't soon forget.

The material of the tube is TPR, a kind of reinforced rubber that is more hygienic than cyberskin, but not quite up to the gold standard of silicone. TPR typically cannot be boiled, but you can definitely wash it with soap. The GT is very easy to wash as it can be inverted with great ease in order to reach the inside. TPR can take on a wide variety of textures depending on the chemical preparation involved in its production. The GT's TPR is very thin, albeit sturdy (it hasn't leaked yet), but it is also extremely smooth. As for the fluid within, it could be a lethal cocktail of chemicals and you wouldn't know any better, but it's probably something safe and chemically inert. It does, however, require lubricant to be used as a sex toy. Otherwise, it just feels too clingy, almost like unpowdered latex. The problem is, once you get GT lubed up, the through-tube design facilitates leaking of the lube onto the outer surface of the toy. And then you can't get a grip on the damn thing! Upon my first ride with the GT, I dropped it a grand total of 9 times before I was able to get a decent rhythm going. Trying to hold fast to a lubed up GT is like squeezing a water-balloon drenched in baby oil (a valid simulation, if you'd like to try it yourself). And it clings to a penis just as well as it does to your hands, which is to say not at all.

So what is the reward for taming the GT? An experience which could hardly be called 'sexual' - a dull, boring endeavor made ever so exciting by the skill it takes to keep the GT from launching itself away from your man-bits. The claim that it "clings to your erection like a real lover would - warm, tight and always gushy! It feels just like the real thing...only better!" is a display of deception the likes of which should probably be criminal. There is little to no stimulation provided by the smooth, texture-less material of this toy. In fact, most of the time, the toy just barely manages to maintain its position on your member despite any thrusting motions made into it (by inverting itself). There is hardly a sense of pleasurable friction provided by this toy whatsoever. If you close your eyes while you are using this toy, you will probably drop it. But if, by the grace of god, you don't drop it, there is a good chance you won't even feel the thing on you. And if you do feel it, it doesn't feel like a sensation one might associate with sexual pleasure.

I would make a note here about its durability. I've tried squashing and squeezing it with great force but rather than absorb the force, it just ends up launching out of my hands, so I suppose this serves as a decent mechanism for resisting bursts. The TRP seems strong enough to avoid tearing or puncturing from a sharp fingernail or otherwise, but I'm sure it wouldn't take much of a refined point to puncture the GT.

The price seems fair at first glance, especially taking into consideration the prices of other masturbators on the market. With shipping, the GT can be yours for about the price of a decent meal (around $20), but when considering the quality of the experience provided by the product, the price-tag instantly seems sky-high. The GT would be better suited to the kind of trash you get from 50-cent vending machines outside of stores in shady parts of the city.
Experience
To elaborate a little as to my personal experience with this toy...I'm average sized (~6 inches), and this toy stretched just fine to accommodate me. However, issues with gripping the toy made it very difficult to enjoy the experience (as stated above, the GT managed to fly away from my penis and me about 9 times during the course of its use). I'm probably more on the sensitive side when it comes to stimulation. It doesn't take a lot to get me going and, usually, I will find myself stopping and starting to prolong a session. The GT presented, for me, a very, *very* rare experience, in that I was actually unable to orgasm with this toy. It provided little to no satisfactory physical stimulation, and any that it did provide was quickly overshadowed by the sheer force of the labor required to control it and prevent it from sliding away and onto the floor where it would gather dust/dirt/debris which would need to be cleaned off and the toy re-lubed before continuing. This toy claims to feel, "just like the real thing, only better", and it absolutely doesn't. Reading this now is infuriatingly laughable. It doesn't feel like a skilled hand, or the warm, carnal recesses of a woman, or anything organic for that matter. It feels like a botched attempt at re-purposing a toy from the late 90's. In which case there are websites which sell them for dozens at a fraction of the price Pipedream does.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Gushy tushy tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
    • Masturbation
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Genitals
This review was edited by
  • lexical lexical
  • Rank:
     
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  • Edited reviews: 160
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Comments
  • B8trDude
    B8trDude  
    Congrats on your first review and welcome to EF This thing looks like something you can buy, very cheaply, at any (regular) toy store. It doesn't sound fun at all.
  • Clyde West
    Clyde West  
    Yeah, seriously. It's a great gift to give someone you don't particularly like.
  • bill154611212
    bill154611212  
    xcv
  • ^Allen^
    ^Allen^  
    Almost.... Wanted to buy it. Then of coarse read this review. Thank you!! Great review!!
  • Allstars316
    Allstars316  
    Thanks for the review!
  • locomotion
    locomotion  
    thanks for reviewing
  • SoloJoe
    SoloJoe  
    thanks
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