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Those boobs are atrocious!

Blow up dolls are a silly thing to have around for a few minutes, but I can't imagine having one for the long term. This would be a good gag gift for a party if you don't mind it getting thrown out with the other decorations.
Published:
Pros:
A moderately funny gag gift.
Cons:
It's not sexy at all and isn't designed well enough to even be considered a parody of a woman.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

I refuse to believe that cheap vinyl dolls are actually meant to have sex with. They're creepy, scratchy, and hard to clean. I believe their intended purpose is to be thrown around at events involving lots of alcohol. I'm lacking in the alcohol department, but I did my best.



When the novelty of owning a blow up doll wears off, you could probably use her as a pool toy. I'm passing Doris along to a friend. Ladies love their blowup dolls, I've found. That or my friends are sort of weird. We did name this blow up doll 'Doris'.
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool

Material / Texture

Have you ever touched an inflatable pool toy? That's exactly what this feels and smells like. My closet smells like plastic because of her. She tastes like plastic. (I'm emulating the drunk, remember?) She's covered in sharp seams and none of her 'love holes' have any sort of texture, they're just more smooth plastic. I don't advise putting your sensitive bits in her.

For some reason Doris's breasts are made out of a thicker plastic. My guess is that it's so you can squeeze them. I'm not really sure why you would want to because they're strangely firm and wrinkly. Maybe they should have more give. If you actually play with her breasts, the nipples are really easy to push in and not to get back out. It's a weird design feature in a toy that's supposed to be a sexually aroused female. Oh well.

    • Flexible
    • Smooth

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

Doris is about four feet tall, give or take a few inches. I'm 5'5" and my clothes ended up fitting her just fine.



Shoes are a bit more difficult. I thought that placing her in sturdy shoes would allow her to stand, but she has weirdly spaced out Barbie shaped feet that makes it impossible for her to stand alone. She does fine propped up against something.

A previous reviewer said they had to peel off flaps to get into two of Doris' holes. Mine were sealed too, but the flaps didn't come off. I had to cut her open.

I managed to not pop her twice, but opening her up (ew) is a dangerous procedure.

The only place you can successfully hide Doris while she's inflated is the closet. Otherwise, you'll need to deflate and fold her.

Functions / Performance / Controls

She's easy to inflate, but I don't think she's made as well as she could be. You can completely fill her with air and still be able to squish her head flat. I don't think air is escaping, I just think the air doesn't flow quite right between her different compartments. It's fun to stand up and push her down to crotch level to simulate oral, but I'm not sure that this is an intentional function of her strangely built legs.
    • Not very stimulating

Care and Maintenance

Care is pretty easy. Keep her away from sharp objects and if you're feeling brave, only use water based lube. Soap and water should clean up any messes that happen, sexy or not.

Experience

I was really excited to own a blow up doll. Once she was actually in my possession, however, the excitement quickly faded. After I had thrown her around a bit and carried her around by her strange breasts, I couldn't think of anything else to do with her. Blow up dolls are something my friends and I have always been curious about, but I can't rationalize owning one for long amounts of time. I advise other curious people to pool their money with friends and then pass one around.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • leatherlover leatherlover
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  • Edited reviews: 235
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Comments
  • leatherlover
    leatherlover  
    I'm glad I never spent money on one of these. Thanks for the great photos!
  • Fuck it.
    Fuck it.  
    Yeah, me too.

    I'm hoping to get some more silly photos from my friend that adopted her. Maybe they'll show up in a followup.
  • lilly555
    lilly555  
    That fake vagina disturbed me...thanks for the review
  • Emma
    Emma  
    Nice review, cool product
  • Fuck it.
    Fuck it.  
    Thanks for reading, guys!
    Having to cut open a fake vagina is what disturbed me. :/ I'd be fine never having to do that again.
  • Eucaly
    Eucaly  
    Wow, those photos are really something!
  • asandahl
    asandahl  
    thanks
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