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My Panties and My Head Disagree

The perfect book for those who are truly into BDSM and can't seem to find a hard enough edge in other books offered by Eden. However, there is no variation from this theme. Many of the stories could be turn offs for those who enjoy light BDSM but don't believe in absolute submission. Is this BDSM or just outright disrespect of one's partner? Is BDSM solely about humiliation? This book suggests it. Still, my brain was mad, but my panties were wet.
Published:
Pros:
+A more hardcore erotica book
+19 Stories
+Long and Short Stories
+Not Solely Hetero
Cons:
-Stories are all BDSM (for some)
-Can easily become a turnoff (for some)
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

About author

Luckily, there are two sections in the back of the book: "About the Authors," and "About the Editor" to make this easy.
About the Authors
*Janine Ashbless-has written everything from fairy erotica to paranormal stories. She has had stories published in "Best Women's Erotica 2011."
*Deborah Castellano-was published in "Best Women's Erotica 2009." A self-described "freelance and smut" writer who hand dyes and spins yarn.
*Heidi Champa-published in "Best Women's Erotica 2010." She has written for "Bust" magazine.
*Elizabeth Coldwell-A writer and blogger from London.
*Justine Elyot-wrote for 3 years before being published in 2009. She has now produced two books.
*Emerald-fights for sexual freedom, reproductive choice, and sex worker rights on her blog.

The list continues, but it's pretty obvious that a good variety of authors exist in this book, covering at least three years of "Women's Best Erotica." I only noticed one male author, which is Neil Gavriel.

About the Editor
*Rachel Kramer Bussel-author, editor of 40+ books, and blogger. She has won several awards and has had work in 100+ anthologies. She is also a columnist for SexisMagazine.com (sound familiar?!) She can even teach you to write erotica.
    • Multiple contributoring authors

Content / Style / Audience

If you don't know about BDSM, you won't understand this book...essentially, that's what the Intro states. While the term "kink" tends to be used quite often, this book is about one type of kink...BDSM. There is no variation to that theme, and for some, these stories will seem eerily similar to one another. Stressing "service and devotion" in the Intro may also turn off those who aren't hardcore into BDSM, as I found myself alternating between feeling sick over these stories and being turned on by them. The lasting effect of my Women's Studies class seem to clash pretty violently with these stories. There are explanations to some degree about why the couple chose BDSM, but they don't all make sense the way I would like them to. Some just aren't relatable for me. Finally, the stress of fear in these stories could go either way for readers.

A Taste of the Stories
Like Riding a Bicycle
A husband admires his wife and finds himself nostalgic over their dom/sub past. He then takes her back to that world of their youth. An excerpt as he first begins to assert his dominance: "I watch the emotions play across her familiar features: confusion, disbelief, a hint of fear."

Tails
A woman is referred to as "Daddy," as her male partner is referred to as a "little girl" or "princess." An excerpt from the male partner: "Please! Let me lick your pussy, Daddy. I want to so bad." The gender word play is interesting to say the least.

Greasing the Wheels
A woman finds out that her boyfriend has cheated on her and decides to dominate him, but halfway through, he turns the tables.

Interview
A mistress and her submissive each explain their relationship, and they also explain BDSM as it's meant to be understood.

Big Night
A wife wants to give her husband the best two surprise parties ever for his 40th birthday. The first party is the usual family and friends, but it's the second surprise party that brings about his submission in front of a group of people.
    • Bdsm

Design

The book itself is paperback, typical of the erotica on EF. As far as binding, it tends to run the same quality as the rest. The layout is kind of disappointing. Perhaps it's because the same genre is carried throughout the book, but there were times when the stories blended together too much. I'm sure there were stories that should have stood out in this book, but I couldn't recall a single one after reading this. There are a few non-hetero stories sprinkled in randomly, which is the saving grace of the design. There are no illustrations within the book. The cover is fairly conservative (for an erotica book), which is why I find it odd that EF has not provided the picture. That being said, here it is:


    • Soft cover
    • Well made

Experience

In my own experience, I am not capable of full submission. I have tried to grasp the dom/sub BDSM concepts, but I can't help but to feel like some of the partners in these stories are just being outright humiliated and disrespected in a way that completely lacks sex appeal. This is why I would only recommend this book for those who are whole-heartedly into BDSM or at least have the mental capacity to put their Disney romance mindset aside. My idea of marriage and relationships being monogamous really stopped me from enjoying this book, but I still gave it three stars because I feel like more hardcore individuals will appreciate the bluntness and open relationship settings. Still, even the BDSM lovers will find themselves disappointed at the lack of variety within this book.
Follow-up commentary
This just isn't a good view of BDSM in my opinion. After thinking about how to word it for awhile, I've decided it's best to say these stories were the picture of tasteless BDSM. Submission and dominance can exist in a healthy relationship, but I don't know that BDSM can dominate a healthy relationship...once again, just my opinion. I saw very little to no love or affection in these stories. They were more like brainwash stories. I might like being tied up in the bedroom and being told what to do, but if I lived my entire life doing exactly what my partner told me, I'd just be a functioning blow up doll. Some of these partners are dehumanized, and evolution seems to be working its way backwards for them.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Undecided
    Undecided  
    Thanks for the review
  • Missmarc
    Missmarc  
    Great review, thank you!
  • SelectZen
    SelectZen  
    Thanks for the detailed review
  • novanilla
    novanilla  
    Thanks for the breakdown of stories.
  • Upyourreviews
    Upyourreviews  
    Great info!
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