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The first time may be the hottest, but after a while everything gets a bit old...

I could give a dozen reasons why this book isn't that great, but the most compelling proof is this: as I was reading it, I kept wanting to just get it over with. That's not the sign of a sexy book.
Published:
Pros:
The stories were funny, in an "I-can't-believe-people-actually-wrote-this-stuff" way.
Cons:
Anyone into alternative lifestyles would not be even slightly aroused by the stories in this book.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
The title of this book -- "The First Time is The Hottest" -- is just the tiniest bit misleading. The stories in the book were submitted by readers of Penthouse, and although the title would lead one to believe that the stories would be filled with adventures of newfound pleasures and as-yet-unexperienced fantasies, most of the stories read like the same old "in-out, blowjob, muffdiving, 69, orgasm" stuff one can find in any "confessional"-style porn magazine. The stories are, for the most part, predictable and at times almost formulaic, and the dialogue is absolutely laughable.

I actually thought I was going to pass out from laughter at this particular passage from a story submitted by a reader in Cleveland, describing the reaction he had upon being orally pleasured by two women at once: "At that point I had an out-of-body experience, seeing trees and waterfalls and butterflies...I jacked off and came on the flowers."

The first sign that a story is not sexy in the slightest is when a reader's reaction upon reading a particular line is not, "Shit, that's hot", but rather, "The flowers?! He had two women in front of him and he had to jack off on the imaginary flowers he was seeing?!" I mean, really. I've heard people say that they "saw God" during a particularly good orgasm. Maybe they "saw stars." But at no point during my life have I ever heard a real live man talk about seeing trees and flowers and butterflies.

I suppose that, yes, some of the stories are "hot" depending on what kind of thing a reader is into. If you're basically looking for jack-off material, and you're not into anything more kinky than threesomes, then maybe this is the book for you. If, however, you're like me and like a bit of variety in your sexual literature, I'd skip this one and try something a little less vanilla.

Certainly something without the waterfalls and butterflies.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Victoria
    Victoria  
    That's ridiculous! It sounds like it's trying too hard to be coy, maybe? Well, at least your review gives a few good laughs! Thanks!
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