Bonsai joy

G-spot rabbit vibrator by Erotic Embrace

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A g-spot/clitoral/perineum toy that works on... none of those spots

I am flat out horrified that this item has such high marks and is selling so well. Please, please, please learn my mistake and don't waste your money on this awful thing. It is almost guaranteed to disappoint- and it's not cheap enough to gamble on.
Published:
Pros:
Don't need a condom for solo play
Safer than jelly
Cons:
I don't think there is an anatomy this toy will work with, the base is minuscule
Rating by reviewer:
1
somewhat useful review
I always wanted to try a jelly toy, but due to safety concerns I've avoided them. I was excited to see something that capitalized on the nubby bits of jelly toys while staying relatively safe material-wise. (Not needing a condom since I use it solo and don't share is great too) I fell for the g-spot/clitoral/perineum claim.

Bonsai Joy is made of elastomer, (safety level 7) so you can clean it but not boil it. I use a bleach solution and there seem to be no problems. Be careful though, there is a hole in the center with a rigid straw-like tube, which could harbor bacteria if you do not remove it and clean it as well.


Similarly, you are also limited by the bullet you use, if it has a hole for the cord.

I actually purchased this from a maker in Japan, so I am NOT going to review the bullet specifically as mine was different. The main body is the same.

Still...

You've got to be kidding me. This toy barely hits one spot, let alone three.


I realize I don't have that many toys but this is a toy that just. doesn't. work. I tried it facing "forward" (nubby bottom bit toward the clit), "backward" (nobby bit toward the clit), "forward" with the tube reversed, "backward" with the tube reversed, "forward" with my hand pulling it toward my clit from the front, "forward" with my hand pulling it toward my anus from the back, "forward" and forced forward by holding onto the cord of the bullet, externally on my clit only, and for the sake of the review crammed entirely into my vagina, (hey, every other way wasn't working) and was underwhelmed every time. I tried it every damn way I could think of vaginally and it was just awful. I tried two different bullets. This isn't even stimulating for teasing, it feels odd but interesting for 20 seconds and then the novelty entirely wears off. Forever.

No matter HOW you pull on this toy it is not a clitoral/vaginal/perineum toy. At best, it can get your vagina (notice I'm not going with g-spot but "vagina") but if you move it to hit your clit it no longer works in the vagina, and the same goes for when you try and use it to get perineum stimulation while inserted vaginally.

I mentioned reversing the tube, if you do so you can get rid of the overall curve of the toy and make it almost completely straight.
Experience
Inserted with no support, this toy is roughly the exact same size as my vaginal opening and the base just floats there barely touching my labia majora and the same goes for the labia minora as well. With the lights off and fully concentrating, I will place the amount of palpable vibrations (cranked all the way up to full power) about 2 CM into the vaginal canal, possibly 3 CM if I'm feeling generous- CERTAINLY not my g-spot.

Honestly this toy totally destroyed my self-esteem the first time I used it. Am I some kind of gigantic freak with a loose vagina? Is my clit freakishly far away from my vagina? Oh god, are there women small enough to hit all of these points at once? The base is roughly the size of my ENTIRE vaginal opening. Since then I have read up a bit on the "rule of thumb" or C-V ratio and found out that anything under 2.5 cm is "very good" when it comes to likelihood of vaginal-penetration only orgasms. And guess what, I do fall into that category... and this toy still can't hit even the bottom of my clit to the point where I can feel it.
I won't even mention perineum stimulation while inserted vaginally because I can't even imagine that it is in the realm of possibility for an adult woman.

In the "best case scenario" (when it comes to this toy) if your vagina clamps down like say, a sphincter (creepy?) or if you have vaginismus or something, you would have exactly two centimeters from the shaft to the EDGE of the base. If your vagina does not work like an anus, you have... one and a half. But even then, I would be shocked if you could angle it well to take full advantage of that. If you reverse the tube you can remove the g-spot curve a bit but I'm undecided as to whether or not that helps hit your clit any better- since it simply doesn't hit anywhere mine at all. Period.


The "too long, didn't read" version:
Unless your clit is within ONE centimeter of your vaginal opening, this toy will not provide clitoral stimulation while vaginally inserted. And I am being very generous about the one centimeter thing. If you asked me, "what provides better stimulation than a vibrating jelly cactus that can only be felt about 2 CM into the vaginal canal?" I would go with "pretty damn near much anything." I would be shocked if this worked well for foreplay or teasing because on top of receiving very little stimulation, you feel pretty damn unsexy using this stupid thing. I suppose you could rip out the bullet, but just buy the bullet instead and save yourself money.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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My Bonsai joy tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Foreplay
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bedroom / on a bed
    • Campus/roommate living
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Vaginal
This review was edited by
  • wetone123 wetone123
  • Rank:
     
    6.4
  • Edited reviews: 212
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Comments
  • P'Gell
    P'Gell  
    I'm kind of confused. You reviewed a different toy than the one Eden carries?

    I think people are very interested in the power, the motor and deep or buzzy the vibrations are, if you reviewed a toy with a different motor.....? How are we supposed to know if this toy is for us. I have never done a measurement of my vagina or it's relation to my clitoris, so that stuff escaped me.

    I'm still confused if you reviewed a toy that is similar to one Eden carries, but NOT one Eden carries.
  • Kaltir
    Kaltir  
    I agree with P'Gell - if you're not reviewing the item here your review can be misleading. And please, try to write an unbiased review. If you have a bad experience with a toy, do tell us, but someone else may have a great experience. Writing as if you're offended by the toy makes for an awful writing style, and will turn readers away. Also, writing a rant about how awful you think a product is does nothing to describe the key points others read the reviews to learn about. I would suggest using the Mentor Program. They can help you write some amazing reviews.
  • freshbananas
    freshbananas  
    Umm whats the toy?
  • SexyTabby
    SexyTabby  
    Tha actual product and product specs are the meat and potatoes of a review so to only review half a item or a different one that is just similiar is not at all what I want to read when deciding if I want to purchase a toy or not. I agree you should try the mentor program to learn more about effective reviews.
  • MrWishyWashy
    MrWishyWashy  
    Thanks for sharing!
  • Dvine Decadence
    Dvine Decadence  
    The disappointment is very evident it is a shame this happened.
  • badk1tty
    badk1tty  
    Truthfully, I'd have rated this EU if you'd been reviewing the actual toy listed on EF, but since you aren't, I can't help but find it not useful to me at all. I'm sorry. I do enjoy your writing style, though -- I'd suggest the mentor program, for sure. You have a -lot- of potential!
  • LilShae
    LilShae  
    your supposed to review what your writing about....
  • Fidelity
    Fidelity  
    ty
  • ViVix
    ViVix  
    The items look very similar, though I jumped the gun in rating by noticing the pics and by reading several parts, though failing to read the part about it not being the same exact toy...
  • Elnoa
    Elnoa  
    Thanks for the review!
  • hillys
    hillys  
    thanks for the review
  • Checkmate
    Checkmate  
    The review in and of itself is well written, but in your own words the review was for an item which was "different" than the one which was listed.
  • Nacht Stern
    Nacht Stern  
    Not quite the same toy but still good review!
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