Bubble head squirmy - traditional vibrator discontinued by Doc Johnson - review by Jackrabbit

Rotating sex toys are something of an enticing prospect: something that can get you off, without a lot of effort on your part - the toy can do everything! Unfortunately in the case of this product, I was so wrong.

Upon extracting it from the box, it was rather hefty, a bit heavy, almost, akin to larger, solid dildos. I attributed it to what must be the powerful rotation motor inside. Man, this was going to be so much fun! The toy didn't have an overwhelming smell; in fact, it didn't smell at all, unlike other products I have reviewed. It was a nice change of pace.

While this is made out of jelly material, it's actually very firm. The only real pliable part of this toy was just underneath the tip. The tip itself was hard, as was the base and a few inches above it. Be sure to clean this toy well and/or use a condom when playing with it. The toy itself takes three AAA batteries, which was my first clue. I had to wonder how much power it could put out using three tiny little batteries - but I looked past it, loaded in the batteries, and started to play with it.

Outside of the body, the rotation feature is *so* appealing. Being a guy in a woman's sex toy world, I'm always looking for new feelings and experiences. The lowest rotation was like a car trying to start - the tip of the toy jerked, slowly caught, and rotated very slowly. The second and third speeds were much easier on the toy. It strongly twists in circles of about an inch in diameter, and got me all excited. This toy features a rotation switcher, which flips the rotation from clockwise to counter-clockwise. It was, for the most part, pretty useless. The vibration was a standard three-speed, but the lowest setting on this toy felt like a "medium" setting on most other toys.

Here's where the fault lies in this toy: outside looks do not mirror the enjoyment inside. The nubs on the tip were interesting to look at, but provided no real unique feeling past the bulbous shape. Were they spaced farther apart, they might have "plucked" at the skin upon penetration, but this just felt like a normal tip.

Once the toy was actually inside me, I turned on the rotating tip and waited. Nothing. Did the batteries fall out? No... the light's on. I ramped it up to the 2nd's speed and felt a bit of a twist in my hand. Oh lord. The third speed finally started the toy rotating, but on the wrong end. My hand was twisting to hold onto the toy as it rotated around the base instead of the tip inside of me. The biggest draw to this toy had failed!

You have to keep a death grip on this thing in order to feel the smallest of twists of the tip inside of you, and don't even think about clamping down - it stops the tiny motor completely, rendering the rotation useless altogether. Unless you're a master at self control of your muscles, you won't be seeing much twisting and turning of this toy. The vibration was enjoyable, but not very smooth, and there are better vibrators you can buy if that was the only draw of this toy.

Back to those nubs at the tip: bring a brush when you clean it. They're spaced so close together that what might appear to be clean actually is not. A brush is the only way to get into the grooves of the toy and clean it completely, which is an incredible pain.

I gave this toy a star simply because of the vibration. It does make a good vibrator, but if you're going to spend a decent amount of money on a toy, there are some vibrators out there that are a hundred times better. If you're dead set on a rotating toy, try something like the Satin or the Perfect Pink which have had better reviews for not much more money than this product.

As for me, I've taken my AAA batteries out of this product and put them in something a lot more useful: My LED flashlight.

Two months in, and this toy has held up well. With proper storage, you shouldn't see any degradation of the material; no pits or anything you'd see with softer, Jelly/Cyberskin material.

Unfortunately, even with fresh batteries (and an optimistic mindset that it might be better!) this toy still disappoints. The rotation is still incredibly weak, and barring the nubby tip which you can barely feel, it ends up being nothing more than a simple old vibrator.

I like the appeal of rotation toys, and perhaps there are better toys available that fit the bill, but this one still isn't worth the time or price.