Clearly Mediocre

The Lover's Crystal Collection is a rather mediocre toy collection. On the plus side, it would be a pleasantly non-intimidating way to introduce a novice to toys.
Published:
Pros
A great chance for a novice to experience several different toys for a very reasonable price.
Cons
Not high quality materials.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review
I love a good bargain, so when I discovered that I could get TWO vibrators for just a few dollars more than one vibrator, I was immediately sold. And the Lover's Crystal Collection definitely represents a good bargain. That is, if you actually want the products offered in this kit. If do want to purchase the items in this collection individually, they will likely cost you $10-$15 each. Thus a $20 kit that included TWO vibrators, TWO cock rings and a set of vaginal balls is an awesome deal in my book.

Unfortunately, none of these items are particularly high quality sex toys. The Lover's Crystal Collection includes a bullet vibrator, a four-inch “traditional” vibrator, two stretchy, studded TPR cock rings and a set of plastic vaginal balls.

The bullet vibrator takes two AA batteries and is as good as any bullet I have ever tried. The “traditional” slimline vibrator takes one AA battery and is much weaker than the bullet vibe. Possibly because the slimline has half the battery power of the bullet vibe. Both items have a clear plastic casing, which I find kind of amusing. You are not going to mistake the clear plastic for crystal, but you can see the motors working inside of the vibrators. I am geeky enough to find this entertaining.

The cock rings are equally unexceptional. They are made of TPR silicone so they are easy to clean with soap and water but impossible to sterilize. They are incredibly stretchy, and according to the bf they work “OK.” He prefers the cheap, Velcro adjustable cock ring we have. Part of this preference is about adjustability, and part is about the fact that I accidentally snapped the stretchy cock ring against his penis while trying to remove it one day. Let me repeat that. I accidentally snapped my boyfriend's penis with what essentially amounts to a large, strong rubber band. He's mostly over the psychological trauma of the incident, and I maintain that my fingers were VERY slippery from various sex related activities, and that I am VERY sorry. He says he still loves me, so we're working from there.

The vaginal balls on the other hand are just kind of gross. I'm not against vaginal balls in general, and I own a set of Smart Ball which I like a lot. These vaginal balls are not unlike the Smart Balls in size and shape. The main difference is that the Smart Balls are made completely of sanitary materials. The Crystal Collection vaginal balls are clearly not at all sanitary. The balls are made of the same clear plastic as the vibrators, but the chord connecting the two balls and the retrieval chord for this set are made of a porous nylon. The nylon chord does not appear to be cleanable much less something you could sterilize. In the interest of this review I tried the balls out with a condom to keep things clean. Basically the balls are fine aside from the cleanliness issue. I myself can't imagine using them now that I own a set of Smart Balls that can be quickly cleaned with soap and water, but as a cheap starter item they are not so terrible. Just be sure to use them with a condom to prevent infection.

“Not so terrible,” basically sums up my feelings about this particular toy kit. It's a decent choice for a heterosexual couple just getting into sex toys. For just a few dollars more than you would pay for any one of the items in this kit you can experience all of them. Then, when you want to upgrade, you can shop with confidence for better quality versions of whichever toys you enjoy.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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  • Contributor: Carrie Ann
    Great review. I totally grasped the details about each toy and you made me laugh as a bonus! Smile
  • Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust
    Ouch! Poor guy! I'm sure you've been making it up to him ever since Winking
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