Disappointing and Distressing

I give this vibrator one star because the ratings don't go any lower. The overall size is average and proportional, and it does have moderately decent vibes on lower settings (though for the amount of noise it makes, that seems disproportional.) Otherwise, this toy is a colossal monument to poor design, shoddy craftsmanship, and all the most awkward elements to incorporate into a dual-action vibrator to poke, jab, bruise, and harm a person's most sensitive areas.
Published:
Pros:
Realistic shaped head, average size
Cons:
Awkward rotating balls, pokey rabbit, unhygienic jelly, battery guzzling disaster
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

Honestly, the best use for this vibrator would be for beating it's creators over the head... At least the wobbly shaft and awkward steel balls would serve for that purpose.

The rotating balls didn't rotate as smoothly as they do in the Blue Heaven Vibe, and actually made the inner walls of my vagina hurt. The more angled bunny ears (compared to my last rabbit vibe that had a bunny attachment) felt more like they were stabbing my clitoris than massaging it. There really wasn't anything about this vibe that was stimulating to any part of me.

I wouldn't recommend this toy for anyone, unless they have a vagina made of steel and need something powerful and rough to simulate.

Material / Texture

The realistic shape and form of the head of the shaft was interesting and had a lot of potential, but, being jelly, was a bit too wobbly to be stimulating. The layer of material between you and the rotating balls is VERY thin, in my opinion too thin. I had stored this toy in my closet, no where near an AC, but when I inserted the toy inside myself, the first thing I noticed was the coldness of the balls, and then how uncomfortably they were shifting beneath the jelly.

I suppose if someone was looking for temperature play, the cold balls may be a perk, but when you're not expecting or wanting that, it's an unpleasant effect.

Also, the Jelly had a faint chemical odor to it, and its clingy texture is a magnet for lint and other cling-ons.
    • Light odor

Design / Shape / Size

This toy is approximately 10 1/4 inches long, with an insertable length of approximately 5 1/4 inches long, and a diameter of approximately 1 1/2 inches. The overall size is about what I prefer in a toy, and was one of the draws I had towards buying it. With batteries, I weighed the toy at 0.6 lbs, which is light-average for a toy, I think the cheaper materials put into this toy may contribute to it being on the lighter side of average.

As previously mentioned, it does have a realistic-ish head for the shaft, which I can appreciate the design of, however I felt it was too wobbly. The three rows of rotating balls are probably the worst feature of this vibrator. In the pulsating mode, they rotate rather jerkily and awkwardly, the rest of the time they just simply feel like they were added so they could bang against your vagina and bruise one's sensitive insides.

The clitoral attachment is a typical bunny-shaped stimulator, and approximately 4 inches long from ears to base.

Functions / Performance / Controls

This toy is quite loud. It is not the loudest toy I have ever used, but it is most definitely not discreet. This toy is also not waterproof.

There are ten shaft rotation speeds, and ten clit vibration speeds according to the description. However, some of the rotation and vibration speeds really don't seem to vary much one from the other and I could only count 9 speeds for the clitoris "stimulator", it felt like the same mode was programmed twice at one point. There's a vibrating bullet in the clitoral attachment, and an independent control for the shaft (usual for a rabbit vibe).

The buttons for the controls are easy enough to figure out, however, mine did not light up as advertised (or if they did, I couldn't detect it in the dimly lit room.)

This toy is also a killer on batteries, using 4 AA batteries at a time. I've had vibrators just as strong that ran on 2-3 batteries, and they lasted longer in between changing out batteries. I noticed the vibrator feeling significantly weaker the third time I tried to use it, and when I put the batteries in the fourth time, the vibrator turned on but the functions wouldn't go, the batteries were too drained. (I take my batteries out in between uses to avoid draining the batteries.) Usually my Vibrators go 8-9 sessions before the batteries die.
    • Battery guzzler
    • Lots of variety in function
    • Not discreet at all

Care and Maintenance

This toy is rather meticulous to care for. Being made of jelly, it is a lint magnet. As it's not waterproof, and can't be boiled because it's jelly, I used toy cleaner wipes once, and then a soapy/damp cloth the next time. Both times, it picked up lint or stray fragments of cloth. I've never had such trouble with a vibrator before! Also, all the crevices on the head of the vibrator means that people new to sex toys need to be especially careful with this toy and its cleaning, and make sure to clean in between all those grooves to avoid bacteria growing.

Being jelly, this toy is recommended to be stored in its own bag and away from other toys, and is compatible with water and silicone lubricants. I stored it in its box, as I do with most toys, and didn't notice an problems with the material changing.
    • Hard to clean
    • High maintenance

Packaging

Like most vibrators, this toy is packaged in a plastic box that features an attractive woman half naked and loud print for what it contains. It says it has over 300 functions in large print, which I feel is false advertisement. It should say something like "10 shaft functions and 10 clitoral stimulator functions make for over 300 combinations."

With the wording all over the box and the pictures of the woman, this is most definitely not a discreet box and there's no mistaking its contents. So if you want to hide your toy, you should find a discreet multi-toy box to purchase as well. Otherwise it's this bulky plastic packaging taking up a lot of space in your drawers or having to deal with lint if you place the toy in a bag or wrap it in cloth.
    • Not discreet

Experience

I bought this vibrator to replace my Blue Heaven vibe; they looked a lot alike, and I thought that this vibe from the advertising might be a bit better suited for pleasing me than my Blue Heaven was. But everything about it was a nightmare.

As stated earlier, this vibrator is loud, I had an embarrassing moment the second time I tried to give this vibe a chance. My son woke up from his nap early and came knocking on my bedroom door, (his room is next to mine,) saying he kept hearing my phone go off and wasn't able to drift back to sleep because of it. (I'm really glad the door was locked and his toddler brain could only think that the mechanical noise could be a phone vibrating.) It wasn't what woke him up, but it was definitely loud enough to annoy him and keep him from nodding off again.

When I first tried to slip the head inside myself, with lube to make that go smoothly as I have a rather tight opening, the head was too wobbly to make a smooth stroke inside, and sort of did a weird bend towards one side. I think it would have been far more bending still, if not for the metal rotating balls stopping it. (Maybe that's why they were added? Yes, that was sarcasm.) While being super-flexible may be a positive attribute for some people, when I buy a thicker vibrator, I want it to have a bit more stiffness to it for penetration, not to feel like a half-flaccid penis.

The shaft on lower settings makes a great deal of noise, which only increases as it speeds up, and has mildly stimulating movement. On higher settings, the movements seem to be a bit erratic, they were rather uncomfortable; I felt like the toy was attempting to stir up my insides at the fastest speed, and those rotating balls really make that feeling worse.

The clitoral attachment's bunny has rather long and pointy ears that tended to jab my clitoris when moving the toy in and out of my vagina. It really doesn't vibrate enough to be stimulating as well, it was more of an annoyance. I spent a good amount of time trying to find a setting or a combination of settings that would be enjoyable, and not only was I unable to find something that was enjoyable for me, the bunny attachment started to heat up and I had to turn the toy off to avoid permanent damage to it. That indicates both how long I spent trying to find something positive to say about this toy, and how poorly constructed it is made. I've NEVER had a toy start to heat up like that before! With the way the bunny's paws are stretched out, it almost made me feel like the bunny was trying to pat my clitoris and attempting to apologize for its ears hurting me and for performing so poorly.

All in all, I really, really didn't like anything about the performance of the Decadent Indulgence vibrator. I was a bit unsure about vibes with rotating balls, my Blue Heaven had them, and they were neither a plus or a negative in the Blue Heaven; how I reacted to them depended on my mood and the function I was using. I liked the look of the realistic head on the shaft, and liked the overall size of the vibrator, so I decided to buy it and give the rotating balls feature one last shot.

This vibrator completely convinced me that I will never ever buy another vibrator with that feature again. And everything else about this vibrator was a complete disappointment. This is not a cheap vibrator at its full price, and that's what i payed for it, full price. It was a complete waste of my money, and even at its formerly reduced cost Eden had it at, it would be a waste of money. For this kind of money, there are far better vibes to invest your money in that will not be so uncomfortable, loud, and go through batteries the way this will.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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This review was edited by
  • Jul!a Jul!a
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    7.5
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Comments
  • - Kira -
    - Kira -  
    Great review. I have the third model of this and found it similarly frustrating although for different reasons. The third isn't made of jelly but it is loud enough to wake up my son (awkward) and I could not make it work for me at all. I also agree 300 variations is a false advertisement. It should read as you put it.
  • The Curious Couple
    The Curious Couple  
    Awesome review, thanks!t I wish this would have worked out better for you!
  • stars
    stars  
    thanks for this great review!
  • TitsMcScandal
    TitsMcScandal  
    Sounds like a nightmare!
  • Stinkytofu10
    Stinkytofu10  
    nice review, thank you!
  • VioletMoonstone
    VioletMoonstone  
    Wow this sounds awful! I never have any luck with rabbit vibrators either and have been avoiding them. Sorry it was a disappointment. Thanks for the review!
  • kierrakeke
    kierrakeke  
    thanks for the review!
  • beccawalton
    beccawalton  
    THANKS FOR REVIEW
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