My problem with the Decadent Indulgence 2 is that I expected it to replace my original Decadent Indulgence. That original model was my first dual-action vibe and it served me so well for 4 years. The first Indulgence plum blew my mind. With its thick-enough shaft and strong rotating beads and little external hummingbird that was accommodatingly adjustable, this thing was like a dream come true. Yes, it was pink, and yes, it had a sort of scary faint cherry scent, but all of that was forgiven because it was the absolute best sex toy I’ve ever had the pleasure to own.

Of course it couldn’t last forever, and it finally conked out earlier this year. I was pleased to see the company offered some updated versions, so I decided to give Indulgence #2 a try. This one diverges from the original’s cloying pink, cast in a clear, brilliant aquamarine rubber. (No, it’s not silicone, and yes, it probably has some sort of nasty chemical compound in it. You should probably use condoms with it.) The strangely inoffensive hummingbird has been replaced by a more conventional bunny-shaped external vibe, which doesn’t bother me one way or the other. Unfortunately for me, the whole shebang is just a little narrower than the original. That means that the penetrative aspect, for me at least, was underwhelming.

The whole draw of this model, of course, is its increased number of functions. While the original Indulgence only had four different, independently adjustable intensities for the external and internal components respectively and a button to pulse through a couple different patterns, this new model has 10 speeds and 5 patterns to cycle through. That impressed me a lot, but when I actually tried it out, I found it to be not much more than a bunch of bells and whistles. Your mileage may vary, of course, but to me it felt a great deal less intense than the original options of pulse and vibration.

If you are someone for whom bigger is not better and who prioritizes variety over intensity of sensation, then the Decadent Indulgence 2 could be an excellent choice. It left me, however, a little cold.