Nice Bullet, Malfunctioning Remote.The bullet is powerful, quiet, and had great variety in its functions. However, the unreliable remote makes it difficult to control the sensations, because you spend more time mashing on the buttons than enjoying the toy. My suggestion? Get something with a higher-quality remote, since that's the key to a good wireless bullet.
The remote looks like a garage door opener or car alarm keypad. It even has a keychain clip, which helps disguise it as an everyday item. It still bears the Doc Johnson logo, so upon close inspection someone may notice that it powers a sex toy, but who inspects people's "garage door openers" that closely? The remote is small and easily fits in the palm of a hand or a pocket.
1. Low Continuous (whisper quiet)
2. Medium Continuous (quiet)
3. High Continuous (audible in a silent room)
4. Rev: starts at a low rumble and gradually gets more intense, then stops, then revs again. (Quiet)
5. Pulse (pretty quiet)
6. Faster pulse: Not noticeably faster than the previous. (audible in a silent room)
7. Short-Short-Short-Long (audible in a silent room)
None of the function levels is likely to be heard through a door, but some may be heard under covers.
The remote was the big disappointment in this adventure. While the bullet performs well, it can only be operated using the remote. My remote failed to work the first day I tried it; the power button would stick and I had to manually pull it back out with my nails, and the LED light would respond but the bullet would not. I would have to press the button numerous times (as many as 40 times, believe it or not!) to get it to work. Once the bullet was turned on, I could usually cycle through the functions easily because the function button wasn't as unresponsive as the power button. However, both buttons were often malfunctioning. It's very clear just from looking at the remote that it is cheaply constructed (like something you would expect for a kid's toy car).
Over time, since the remote stopped working for me, I can't tell how much longer it's going to last. The batteries weren't low, so I know it's a mechanical issue. Be advised, though, that when the batteried do run out, they will be a little tricky to find: The bullet takes 3 N-size batteries, and the remote takes a 12-volt.
So, what did we do? Jam it up there and start clicking, of course!
So far so good; the vibrations were strong and the remote had good range. Pleased with this replacement, I cleaned and sterilized the toy, and put it away in a velvet pouch for the next time we felt frisky enough to take it for a spin. When that time came, I pulled it out, inserted the bullet, and nothing. Nothing at all. Fearing the worst, I tinkered around with it for about 10 minutes before giving up and sending it back to the drawer of shame. On a whim, I picked up two sets of batteries at an electronics store and popped them in. Same size battery, but they didn't fit into the slots! For some reason, the batteries that come with the bullet (N-size) are smaller than the N-size batteries that are found in stores. This presented a problem, because now I couldn't get the new batteries out of the battery compartment at all. Already committed, I closed up the bullet and tried my luck. And it worked! In fact, the remote's range was even better this time around! It seems that the batteries that came with the bullet were just dead, and it needed a fresh set. I danced around the room a bit and put it away again. A few days later, I took it out again and the remote wasn't responding (the LED light wouldn't come on). I grabbed the other set of new batteries I had bought and gave the remote a fresh one, and it worked. So clearly, the remote was draining the battery. But aha! I would outsmart the machine this time, because now, I decided just to store the battery separate from the remote. A few days later, I tried to use the bullet and it worked, which told me that storing the remote without the battery was the key. Fast forward about 3 weeks, and it's time for some family gathering fun! I grab my bullet, lock and load the remote, and it doesn't work.
So now, I'm truly disappointed. It seems that the battery is drained no matter what, and this thing is giving me more trouble than it's worth. Next time, I'll go with a better quality model.