Are safe words really important?

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Are safe words really important?

HisOneAndOnly HisOneAndOnly
My husband and I have purchased a couple of the toys from this category and we don't use safe words, should we be using them??
06/13/2012
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Quote:
Originally posted by HisOneAndOnly
My husband and I have purchased a couple of the toys from this category and we don't use safe words, should we be using them??
some time No or Stop really means, more please

link
06/13/2012
Mitzuki Mitzuki
Always have a safe word planned, and only use it if necessary! It's better to always have one then not have one at all.
06/14/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Better to have one you don't need than to need one and not have it.
06/14/2012
namelesschaos namelesschaos
Quote:
Originally posted by gsfanatic
Better to have one you don't need than to need one and not have it.
That my view on this, although obviously plenty of people do play with out safe-words and end up fine it still good to have one just in case. Although don't let the emphasis on safewords let you forget the importance of trust communication and proper safety precautions.
06/14/2012
Taylor Taylor
As long as you have good communication it is okay. You don't have to have a special safe word if you know that stop means stop.
06/14/2012
Dixiemomma Dixiemomma
ALWAYS have a safe word, just incase one of you accidentally gets carried away or if something is just uncomfortable and you need to reposition you need to be able to snap them out of it, also wise to have some kinda of signal incase your gagged .. . like snapping your fingers
06/14/2012
hall5885 hall5885
I always say a safeword is always a must! It's best to have it and never need it then the other way around. I thought I wouldn't need it but had one anyways. Thankfully I did cause I have had to use it once or twice. Thankfully only once or twice.
06/14/2012
ScarletFox ScarletFox
Even though I have a safeword, I rarely use it. But to me having a safeword is actually makes me feel more secure in a scene. I know that its there in case something is triggered and I need out, or if an emergency arises and I am in true honest pain.

I know that there are some people who do not have them, but I think starting out a safeword is a good thing to have so that you can both learn both what is good and what might not be working out. Even something as simple as the Green, Yellow, Red method could work.
06/15/2012
MidnightStorm MidnightStorm
I think it's a matter of trust and depends on how.. Intense your play gets? For example, I don't know that my boyfriend and I really need a safe word because he never really "hurts" me. As our play gets more intense, however, I think it may be something worth looking in to. We've discussed light choking and have played around with smacking lately, so it may be about time.

Really though, I think light whipping, trying up, gags, etc... It's probably not extremely important. Whatever you're comfortable with!
06/15/2012
TheirPet TheirPet
It's always good to have a safe word. I made the mistake of not having one with my former-partner because we 'didn't need a safeword' and I ended up regretting it.
06/15/2012
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Depends on the play you are doing, but it is better to be safe.
06/15/2012
Aurora Borealis Aurora Borealis
Quote:
Originally posted by HisOneAndOnly
My husband and I have purchased a couple of the toys from this category and we don't use safe words, should we be using them??
Probably.
06/16/2012
britanny0620 britanny0620
Quote:
Originally posted by Mitzuki
Always have a safe word planned, and only use it if necessary! It's better to always have one then not have one at all.
I agree with this ^
06/16/2012
xOhxSoxScandalousx xOhxSoxScandalousx
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
As long as you have good communication it is okay. You don't have to have a special safe word if you know that stop means stop.
I agree. If you trust your partner then he should know "Stop" means STOP.
06/16/2012
All His All His
better to prepare for the need and hope you never need it
06/16/2012
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
It's good to at least have a safeword. Even if you never need to use it. It's always better to be safe.
06/16/2012
SMichelle SMichelle
I think it's always a good idea to have a safe word, yes. I have never had to use mine, but it gives my partner and I peace of mind knowing that I have it should I need it.
06/16/2012
candiedcritique candiedcritique
If it's just some light bondage, like tying hands together and blindfolding kinda stuff, I think you are alright without a safe word. But if you are doing anything more extreme, it's always important to have a safe word. It's important to be prepared just in case something happens.

Honestly I've never had to use mine, but then again my partner and I know each other's limits pretty well (and how far you can go beyond them before it's too far ).

Also if you get into any rope bondage and such...having a pair of medical scissors on hand is a good idea...just in case it gets to one of those situations and you need to get someone out of it fast.
06/17/2012
Envoutes Envoutes
Yes, they're important. Unless you're absolutely certain that "no" and "stop" are words that mean exactly that, you should have them. Better safe than sorry.
06/18/2012
Chami Chami
i think they are very important
06/18/2012
Defiledpixxy Defiledpixxy
Quote:
Originally posted by HisOneAndOnly
My husband and I have purchased a couple of the toys from this category and we don't use safe words, should we be using them??
There is no substitute for clear communication. Safewords are great, but if you're able to clearly communicate that whatever is going on needs to stop and get it to actually stop then you don't need them. I don't have one and I've been doing BDSM play for years.
06/19/2012
Mistress Dragon Mistress Dragon
If you and your husband are open and have that clear communication then you should be fine. I do feel that a safe word is what it is a SAFE WORD to make you safe when you need to be. I would always have one no matter what even though we do not really do any BDSM maybe the light smack on the ass but that is about it. If I am with someone else then I would make sure to have one and use it only when you are DONE once you use it PLAY TIME IS OVER FOR THAT TIME.
Good luck with your adventures in your sexual relationship and fun times.
Stay safe.
07/12/2012
Billie Bones Billie Bones
Safe words are so easy to put in place and reduce the risk that comes along with BDSM. Even if your play isn't very heavy, boundaries can still be crossed.
07/12/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I think they are important. You may never use them, but at least they are there. People tend to go into alternate states of consciousness when playing hard. Even what some people consider "light" bondage (I'm not really sure what that means, as everyone has a different level of play they consider "rough") and even tying someone up can get heavy, and even a very mild scene can trigger either the Dom or the sub in some cases. Having a Safe Word and Safe Motion (in case you can't speak) is a good idea.

Triggering can occur. On one day a certain action may be the best thing ever, on an other day, it can suddenly feel "not right."

The Safe Word, for many, doesn't necessarily mean "play time is over" it may just mean, "Loosen that" or "Don't do that at that angle, OK?" or even "GET OFFA ME!" and then play can continue as long as both partners are safe, consenting and happy with the scene.

For most people "Stop" or "NO" are not the best Safe Words. When playing hard, Ravishment Play can and often does include using words like this, even when nobody means it. (I'm not talking about dating or casual sex, I'm talking engaging in a scene with someone you know and trust well) Something that you wouldn't say in the heat of passion is probably the best Safe Word.

It also depends on how well the two of you know each other. My Man and I have been together so long that a simple grunt to "Wait" can substitute for a Safe Word, as we've been having sex with each other for decades. He knows the difference between a playing, "OMG stop!" and a real cry for stop in the play for a moment or just an adjustment to what we are doing.
07/12/2012
Sangsara Sangsara
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I think they are important. You may never use them, but at least they are there. People tend to go into alternate states of consciousness when playing hard. Even what some people consider "light" bondage (I'm not really sure what that ...
I agree it depends how well you know eachother and how close attention you pay to what your partner expresses
07/12/2012
Zandrock Zandrock
Quote:
Originally posted by HisOneAndOnly
My husband and I have purchased a couple of the toys from this category and we don't use safe words, should we be using them??
Safe words are only necessary when no doesnt mean no. If no means no then you dont need one. If you are going to do something like a rape fantasy where no doesnt mean no then you absolutely need one
07/13/2012
Roz W Roz W
Quote:
Originally posted by Zandrock
Safe words are only necessary when no doesnt mean no. If no means no then you dont need one. If you are going to do something like a rape fantasy where no doesnt mean no then you absolutely need one
If no always means no, then you don't need one.

If there is any question, try it out.
07/14/2012
Gdom Gdom
In a word, yes, safe words are important, especially if you plan to do any sort of resistance play where "no" very often does mean "yes." "Red" for stop, "yellow" for slow down, and "green" for good to go again is a pretty simple and intuitive system. If you're not doing anything of that sort though (and your partner knows that your shouting "get these damned ropes off me!" really does mean precisely that), then you're probably fine; just make sure to establish that first! You don't want to get halfway through a scene before you realize that the two of you have different ideas about the type of play or the meaning of "no."
07/17/2012
thecheffie thecheffie
yes they are very important as a dom i do get lost in the moment at times and if my sub didnt have a safe word some harm might become of her and i dont want that (not that she usues it that often though we are pretty good with knowing each others limits - comes wiht playing for a while)
07/17/2012
Total posts: 30
Unique posters: 30