Is collarme a good place to find a BDSM partner?

kawigrl kawigrl
is collarme.com a good place to find a bdsm play partner? are there better bdsm specific personals (i know fetlife has classifieds but isn't specifically designed for matching up)
07/24/2012
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Pixel Pixel
Oh, gods. Stay clear of Collarme. It's basicly the craigslist of the kink world. It's dodgy as hell. Try Fetlife...check out your local groups. Go to munches (meet ups in vanilla settings) and parties. Meet people in person, watch them play with others, hell, ask for references! It's safer than trolling on Collarme, and as a bonus, you'll get involved in your local scene and meet like minded people.

Good luck!
07/25/2012
solitudinarian solitudinarian
Agree with Pixel, Collarme is dodgy and spammy as hell. Go with Fetlife.
07/27/2012
ScarletFox ScarletFox
I third what Pixel said, go with Fetlife find where groups in your local area meet and go out to meet people. Having done the Collarme thing once, its just...really bad. Lots of people who are serious red flags.
07/27/2012
kawigrl kawigrl
ok.
07/28/2012
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
Collarme...I still have my account there, but more for nostalgia I suppose.
I'm going to agree with the others here; Pixel gave you some great advice.
Fetlife is far better than Collarme in every way. (at least in my opinion)

On Collarme I got messages from so many creepers it wasn't even funny (but no creepers have contacted me thus far on Fetlife). I hardly ever even log in there anymore.
07/28/2012
Mitzuki Mitzuki
Agreed with pixel for sure!
07/29/2012
k3 k3
Noooo! Collarme is just a big meatmarket of fakes and douches.
09/03/2012
SavingMyself SavingMyself
NO! If you want a site to use, go to fetlife. There are fakes everywhere, but collarme is basically nothing but fakes.
09/03/2012
Twiz Twiz
Hell no. Like k3 said, big meat-market of fakes and assholes. And I agree with ^her^ to use fetlife.
09/11/2012
subtyrant subtyrant
While I found my Dom through collarme (and he's pretty effin awesome), I have to agree with all of the above.

I was on the site for a few years before I found Sir, but I was overwhelmed by creepers. It's easy enough to ignore/ delete messages, but it gets tiring. I did meet up with a couple others for coffee, but they were poor matches in the end.
09/15/2012
Sora Sullivan Sora Sullivan
I also met my Daddy (Dom) through CollarMe, but I was super lucky. His M.O. is to save people from that site, and I could see why. It's awful. Anyway, I was wondering what any or all of you think a person, namely me, should do, once she's on Fetlife, been in the local scene for about three years, and pretty much hates everyone she's met? I can't exactly move, but the scene here is so catty and simultaneously inclusive and exclusive. I'm a cute girl, but no one has EVER offered to play with me! :,( And the people I've tried to connect with and ASKED to play with me have all been super, DUPER flakey. No one has time to form real relationships where I am, or have someone over for tea and suspension play...

Hate to steal the thread, but I'm desperate for some advice. Please?
12/04/2012
TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
I agree with Pixel. Collarme is bad news. It wasn't always, but it is now...
12/04/2012
Caus Caus
I've never heard of Collarme but i'm glad this thread exists. Good to know what websites to avoid.
12/06/2012
vield vield
Quote:
Originally posted by kawigrl
is collarme.com a good place to find a bdsm play partner? are there better bdsm specific personals (i know fetlife has classifieds but isn't specifically designed for matching up)
Collarme is an interesting place to share ideas. It also seems to be a fairly good place for women to get acquainted online with other women (if they can weed out the fakes), and for phone sex operators and professional dominatrixes to connect with clients.

I HAVE successfully found play partners here, but not many, and I have found lots of fakes.

In ANY case: the advice many are giving you about going to fet to find groups near your area, then attending meetings and events to get to know REAL people is excellent. Here in Wisconsin we have LOTS of great things going on, as does much of the country!

Any on line service has lots of folks hiding behind keyboards, pretending to be something they are not. At least at a meeting, a social, or an event, YOU can assess whether you are talking to that 20 year old hottie (male or female), or if it is someone who really is not near the age, gender, experience level or power exchange role that they think you might be interested in.

Meeting people without pressure to play or "get it on" in a safe setting is a good thing. One reason so very many people do not show up for that first meeting at a safe restaurant with us is because they realize that if they do, we can see that 24 year old football star or swim suit model we met on line is really 75, married, and a different gender than advertised!

In any case, be safe & have fun!

Phil

vield@aol.com
05/12/2013
BOSG BOSG
I actually have had excellent results with CM. You have to be cautious, don't believe everything men write LOL and...most important stand your ground. My profile is specific...I state specifically what I am looking for, that you must be local to me and that I do not engage in chat, IM, webcam... Most of the men who contact me are decent people..not necessarily looking for what I want or are the type of men I like but nice. I have been seriously involved with 2 men I met there. Now, I am a female sub so, at first, you get bombarded. I deleted all of my initial emails but you can set up mail controls so that you can establish what can get to your inbox (I have that I only accept mail from straight men, in my state, in the USA, between ages of 40-50) and the filter works..so what I get, is reduced to only what I want. You need to take precautions. Someone emails me, I do NOT discuss or respond to personal questions. Treat it the way you would meeting somebody at a large party...I will mention what field I am in, that I am divorced with kids, that I like museums, reading...since they are local, discuss stuff going on near us and places we have gone to...; however, I never mention where I live beyond county, where I work beyond the industry, how many kids or their ages, any type of definite future plans (yeah...I will say I want to go to Europe one day but not that I will be in OC the first of June) and NEVER, EVER anything sexual. I am clear I email only on the site (so if they get dicey, I can block &/or report), and will do so for only a certain amount of time before expecting to meet in person. I have met, in person, 7-8 men (always at somewhere like a mall restaurant where they cannot even know where I am parked if I feel it is dicey). All have been nice guys, 2 of them became more than friends. The others were actually the equivalent of a bad first date!

Anything is good if you use common sense!
05/12/2013
gwenevieve gwenevieve
Quote:
Originally posted by kawigrl
is collarme.com a good place to find a bdsm play partner? are there better bdsm specific personals (i know fetlife has classifieds but isn't specifically designed for matching up)
hahahah not really
05/17/2013
dommebook dommebook
Quote:
Originally posted by kawigrl
is collarme.com a good place to find a bdsm play partner? are there better bdsm specific personals (i know fetlife has classifieds but isn't specifically designed for matching up)
Try link

We have been online for 13 days and recorded 1255 members. We are a serious FemDom site catering to all who believe in Female Led Relationships
08/10/2013
dommebook dommebook
Quote:
Originally posted by dommebook
Try link

We have been online for 13 days and recorded 1255 members. We are a serious FemDom site catering to all who believe in Female Led Relationships
link
08/10/2013
kistme kistme
Quote:
Originally posted by kawigrl
is collarme.com a good place to find a bdsm play partner? are there better bdsm specific personals (i know fetlife has classifieds but isn't specifically designed for matching up)
I've been on Collarme for about 7yrs now. (various accounts)... and yes, they, like any site, have their trolls....

BUT, I found my last My Master there (also 7yrs) and have met (literally in person) several fine people of all walks of BDSM.

For me, I'd say that Collarme is no worse than any other site.
08/10/2013
AngeliqueBouiser AngeliqueBouiser
Quote:
Originally posted by Pixel
Oh, gods. Stay clear of Collarme. It's basicly the craigslist of the kink world. It's dodgy as hell. Try Fetlife...check out your local groups. Go to munches (meet ups in vanilla settings) and parties. Meet people in person, watch them ... More
I agree! I have both CM and FL and, CM is nothing but trouble. Full of fake profiles too. Only wanting a quick one night stand or wanting to abuse or be abused. Only, majority of female profiles are actually men with a fake profile. FL is an amazing site. I love FL. True people. Plus, they fave forms (such as this) to discuss anything you have questions about.
08/10/2013
themonstersmate themonstersmate
Fetlife for the win! It's quickly becoming my favorite online hangout.
08/31/2013
Miss L Miss L
Quote:
Originally posted by kawigrl
is collarme.com a good place to find a bdsm play partner? are there better bdsm specific personals (i know fetlife has classifieds but isn't specifically designed for matching up)
No, I have not had a good Collarme experience.
10/28/2013
RockH977 RockH977
Quote:
Originally posted by Sora Sullivan
I also met my Daddy (Dom) through CollarMe, but I was super lucky. His M.O. is to save people from that site, and I could see why. It's awful. Anyway, I was wondering what any or all of you think a person, namely me, should do, once she's on ... More
Fetlife is probably better, still, their munches seldom rock before 9pm and a good many Doms are early birds with full time jobs so you won't find them there on weeknights, or if they are there they leave early, before the real party starts.

Collarme has a 100:1 ratio of fakes to real people, all varieties including researchers and law enforcement.

Sora, email me or reply here and will discuss.
12/14/2013
Miss L Miss L
Quote:
Originally posted by kawigrl
is collarme.com a good place to find a bdsm play partner? are there better bdsm specific personals (i know fetlife has classifieds but isn't specifically designed for matching up)
No.
12/26/2013
Dom guy Dom guy
Quote:
Originally posted by kawigrl
is collarme.com a good place to find a bdsm play partner? are there better bdsm specific personals (i know fetlife has classifieds but isn't specifically designed for matching up)
No it's nearly 100% just people playing games and never doing anything real.
Jan 14, 2:11 pm
RomanticGoth RomanticGoth
Collarme isn't the place to go. Try Fetlife.
Mar 21, 1:04 am
Total posts: 27
Unique posters: 24