Difference between S&M and BDSM?

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Difference between S&M and BDSM?

Zombirella Zombirella
I hope I don't offend anyone for any reason by asking the difference between the two. I just see these terms here and I don't quite know what exactly they are.
Now, I do know what BDSM is a little bit (though what I know is pretty plain/vanilla). I just know both of those terms deal with fetishes, if I'm correct on that. I'd just like to know what the difference is? Are they at all related to one another?

Again, I hope me putting them together isn't ignorant or offends. I'm just basically curious and know I can get an answer here.
06/05/2012
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Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
I hope I don't offend anyone for any reason by asking the difference between the two. I just see these terms here and I don't quite know what exactly they are.
Now, I do know what BDSM is a little bit (though what I know is pretty ...
Read this it has some good explanations. Here is a bit of info.

"BDSM really stands for three separate things...

B&D - Bondage & Discipline - being restrained in some way for being bad/good or for training and conditioning. This can be seen in what is called "pony play." One person is bound in (usually) leather, maybe a type of bit gag while being led around an "arena" forced to pick the feet up high or face a snap of the riding crop.

D&S - Dominance & Submission - One (or more) person controlling another (or many.) This could be as simple as making someone push your cart while you do your shopping. It could be as deep as someone being complete control over another person in every possible way; when they eat, drink, use the restroom, sleep, what they wear... everything. (called 24/7 power exchange.)

S&M - Sadism & Masochism - A sadist is a person who gets their kicks (no pun intended) by inflicting pain on someone, either physical or mental. This could be as simple as telling someone they are useless and do not deserve to be in your presence to applying cloth-pins to all parts of another's body and yanking them off one at a time. A Masochist is a person who gets their kicks by receiving physical or mental pain. Any thing from being humiliated (scolded)in public to being severely whipped or spanked. This is a deeper form of Dominance and Submission.

Hope this helps you better understand what BDSM is all about."
06/05/2012
ghent529 ghent529
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Read this it has some good explanations. Here is a bit of info.

"BDSM really stands for three separate things...

B&D - Bondage & Discipline - being restrained in some way for being bad/good or for training and ...
Great info! thanks cause i'd been wondering too
06/05/2012
freshbananas freshbananas
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Read this it has some good explanations. Here is a bit of info.

"BDSM really stands for three separate things...

B&D - Bondage & Discipline - being restrained in some way for being bad/good or for training and ...
Whoa, mind blown. lol
06/05/2012
solitudinarian solitudinarian
Yup, what Beck said. A person can be into D/s without necessarily being into S&M, and vice versa. In my mind discipline goes hand in hand with D/s, and bondage can go with any of the above, or be conducted separate from the other areas of BDSM. For example, there are "rope tops" (riggers) and "rope bottoms" (the ones who gets tied up) who enjoy bondage, but are not into D/s or S&M.

Fetishes are more an attraction to certain body parts or inanimate objects rather than activities like bondage or spanking (though this depends on who you ask). E.g. feet, leather, shoes etc. Some definitions say that a fetish is something that MUST be present for arousal/orgasm to occur, others just say that they are just something the person has a sexual fascination with. I tend to subscribe to the latter. While not falling under the realm of BDSM specifically, fetishes tend to be closely linked to it.
06/05/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Thanks Beck and also to Solitudinarian. That sheds some light on it for me
06/06/2012
Jewlickah Jewlickah
That was a really good explanation, Beck!
06/06/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Read this it has some good explanations. Here is a bit of info.

"BDSM really stands for three separate things...

B&D - Bondage & Discipline - being restrained in some way for being bad/good or for training and ...
Good job, Beck.

What Beck said.

I just wanted to add one thing about B&D. Some couples engage in a Power Dynamic which involved Service. Simply, it's taking care of the partner in certain ways, sexually or otherwise. It could be everything from cooking his food and filling his plate, to washing his hair or his body, cleaning him up after sexual acts, massaging and rubbing, taking care of his clothing and belongings and other chores etc. Service is a wide spread part of Dom/sub interaction.
06/06/2012
Mistress Dragon Mistress Dragon
Very good info, thank you all for sharing. I wondered this as well and this really has helped me a lot.
07/12/2012
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 8