How did you meet your BDSM companion?

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How did you meet your BDSM companion?

LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
I'm quite curious about how people within the lifestyle meet their mates. Were you in a vanilla relationship initially , but gradually introduced it to your partner? Or were you both already into BDSM and met through some other avenue (Such as the web, etc. )I'm only asking because I'm single, but would love to have a Dominate male; The only problem is that I don't know how to really meet anybody in the lifestyle.
06/21/2012
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Geogeo Geogeo
Fetlife, it's great because you know right away what their kinks are and if you're wasting your time or not.
06/21/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
We started vanilla, but I ended up corrupting her
06/21/2012
hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
My sub was an old friend, and both of us went through bad break-ups about the same time. We got to talking again, and he admitted he had always had a thing for me, and asked me to cyber.

He brought up the idea that he would like to be dominated, and I indulged him, and haven't looked back since.
06/21/2012
Vanille Vanille
Started vanilla, and then I casually mentioned that if I leaked her secret cosplaying plans she could spank me and she turned around and said she'd spank me anyway.

Needless to say she's pretty damn kinky.
06/21/2012
palindromic palindromic
We started out vanilla, but I had always had an interest in BDSM. Took me awhile to introduce it, but it turns out my sweetie is really into it now.
06/21/2012
MissMori MissMori
We met at Frolicon in Atlanta - it's a great con anyway but that made it a bit more dear to my heart.
Neither of us were there looking for a partner, but we clicked pretty well. Didn't play with each other that weekend, but then it turned out we live only an hour apart so we started visiting and writing and talking on the phone and now the hour drive seems like nothing at all!
Next year we'll be going as a couple!
06/21/2012
Taylor Taylor
we met of fetlife. He messaged me and we chatted for awhile and a few weeks later we met up, and it just went from there.
06/21/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
we met of fetlife. He messaged me and we chatted for awhile and a few weeks later we met up, and it just went from there.
OOOOH! So there is a nice fetish place I can go to in order to chat with people! I'm very unaware of any nice places to chat with people with like interests! Thank you for mentioning fetlife! I'll have to look into it! I'm glad things worked out for you!
06/21/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
Quote:
Originally posted by MissMori
We met at Frolicon in Atlanta - it's a great con anyway but that made it a bit more dear to my heart.
Neither of us were there looking for a partner, but we clicked pretty well. Didn't play with each other that weekend, but then it turned ...
AWW! HOW AWESOME! I'm glad you two will get to go as a couple! Good thing you two only live an hour apart! I'd say that's definitely worth the drive! Congratulations!
06/21/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
Quote:
Originally posted by palindromic
We started out vanilla, but I had always had an interest in BDSM. Took me awhile to introduce it, but it turns out my sweetie is really into it now.
Ahh! I wanted to try the whole vanilla approach first myself. My last and only boyfriend pretty much chastised me for my interests so for a long time, I locked them away. Now that I'm older, I realize that he was a colossal prick and I can be as kinky as I want to be...Now, I just need to find someone to share it with!
06/21/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
Quote:
Originally posted by Vanille
Started vanilla, and then I casually mentioned that if I leaked her secret cosplaying plans she could spank me and she turned around and said she'd spank me anyway.

Needless to say she's pretty damn kinky.
OOOH! That sounds really hot! Congratulations on the great catch!
06/21/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
Quote:
Originally posted by hyacinthgirl
My sub was an old friend, and both of us went through bad break-ups about the same time. We got to talking again, and he admitted he had always had a thing for me, and asked me to cyber.

He brought up the idea that he would like to be ...
That's such a wonderful thing to hear! I'm glad that you two were what each other needed! None of my friends are into it, and some of them down right avoid me ever since I tried to open up to them about my interests. I'm glad your friend became so much more to you! Congrats!
06/21/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
Quote:
Originally posted by gsfanatic
We started vanilla, but I ended up corrupting her
That's exactly how I always fantasized about me meeting a Dom, except I doubt there's any 'corrupting' that he could do LOL! Congrats~
06/21/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
Quote:
Originally posted by Geogeo
Fetlife, it's great because you know right away what their kinks are and if you're wasting your time or not.
YES! I'm looking into Fetlife right now! Thanks for mentioning this place because I wasn't aware of it. I don't feel so alone anymore knowing that I can interact with people with the same interests! THANKS SO MUCH FOR SHARING! *BOWS HUMBLY!*
06/21/2012
MissMori MissMori
Quote:
Originally posted by LadyDarknezz
Ahh! I wanted to try the whole vanilla approach first myself. My last and only boyfriend pretty much chastised me for my interests so for a long time, I locked them away. Now that I'm older, I realize that he was a colossal prick and I can be as ...
I can relate to this a bit . . . I was out of it for a couple of years because I ended up with someone who I thought had similar interests, but he kept scaling things back more and more until he wouldn't even have regular ol' vanilla sex with me! A lot of emotional abuse went into the whole thing - including shaming me into thinking there was something wrong with me for having the needs and wants I do.
Funny that now I can see that the ex was being abusive, but the man who does all sorts of cruel and unusual things to me is the most supportive and kind partner I've ever had!
Anyway, I hope you meet the right person for you! Fetlife also has tons of good writings on it, so you can hear about other people's experiences and such.
06/22/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
We met at college, and while kinky stuff didn't enter the picture immediately, we were very open about our interests very early on in the relationship.
06/23/2012
Nirelan Nirelan
college.....
06/23/2012
spineyogurt spineyogurt
Internet
06/23/2012
cricket cricket
on the street with a five dollar bill
06/23/2012
Jewlickah Jewlickah
We met in high school, and started out vanilla, but I think we kind of inferred stuff about eachother from the beginning.

At this time we've still only done pretty mild stuff.
06/24/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
Quote:
Originally posted by Jewlickah
We met in high school, and started out vanilla, but I think we kind of inferred stuff about eachother from the beginning.

At this time we've still only done pretty mild stuff.
I've always hinted about liking it, but nobody around me ever took it seriously. I should probably keep doing so and eventually someone will bite lol.

I'm glad it all worked out for you two though!
06/25/2012
Total posts: 22
Unique posters: 13