How to tell husband

Kinkymama Kinkymama
I want to be handcuffed during sex but not to sure how husband would react. Does anyone have any ideas for me on how to go about this
01/06/2013
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Gracefire Gracefire
The best way is to simply be open and honest. Maybe go out and buy a pair, and the next time things get hot and heavy, pull them out and, in your most seductive and sultry voice, say, "Oh, baby, I would love it if you would put these on me and [fill in your choice of dirty, sexy talk here]."

If you don't think that would go over well, then bring it up one night when you are just laying in bed together reading, watching TV, whatever. "Hey, honey, I've been thinking about spicing things up a little and I want to try some handcuffs. What do you think?"

It's okay to feel a little scared, but, really, being honest and straightforward is best. You would be surprised how many things partners are willing/want to do and are just too scared to voice! In my work as a pro-dom, I once had a couple in where the man had an adult baby/diaper fetish and, while the woman didn't quite understand it, she was there to learn more about how she could support and fulfill her partner's fetish.

Any way you do it, I wish you luck!
01/06/2013
Apirka Apirka
In a non sexual setting, tell him that you'd be really turned on by him handcuffing you. Most guys want to please their woman, so it should be simple as that. Most of the time, people just have to get over their embarrassement and just simply ask for what they want.
01/06/2013
G&L G&L
We saw it once in a movie and we decided that it would be fun to try. You could go that route.
01/06/2013
fizzygato fizzygato
Be like, "Yo, I want to be tied up."

Just tell your husband.

He probably will never guess it unless you tell him, esp if he's used to "vanilla" stuff. I'm not sure what you're looking for us to say, like you want us to tell you sexy ways of asking it, coy ways, or???
01/07/2013
Martiniman Martiniman
A straight forward and honest approach in a non-sexual environment would be my suggestion. Tell him before hand that you have something you want to discuss with him, then be honest with your fantasy and point blank ask him how he feels about it without putting any pressure on him.

If you want two alternate ideas...have that conversation, and while explaining it, slide the cuffs on the table so he sees how serious you are, then hand him the keys.
Second idea...plan it out that he finds you naked in bed wearing the cuffs. The visual might do a world of good for him...and you.

Personally, if my wife told me she wanted to be cuffed during sex I'd be high over the moon with excitement.

Best of luck...hope it works out for you!
01/07/2013
Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
I'm usually browsing Eden while my partner plays video games. When I see something new that I want to try, I'll just show him and ask him what he thinks. He's been pretty open to everything I've brought up. Maybe just show him a pair of handcuffs you like on the site and use that to start a discussion
01/07/2013
linnlinn linnlinn
Quote:
Originally posted by Apirka
In a non sexual setting, tell him that you'd be really turned on by him handcuffing you. Most guys want to please their woman, so it should be simple as that. Most of the time, people just have to get over their embarrassement and just simply ask ... More
I agree. I've had the best luck when I just get over myself and tell my partner what I want. Sometimes I've tested the waters with mentioning that I like something kinky in a book or a movie and gaged their reactions. I've also heard of a few books on the subject of what to do when someone you love is kinky.
01/07/2013
novanilla novanilla
I just say things outright because I'm really blunt, and I know that is easier for some than others, but being handcuffed is such a simple thing even the most vanilla people are open to. You can mention that you think being handcuffed would be fun to try sometime, or you could buy a pair of handcuffs and put yourself in them and lay on the bed waiting for him.

If you're really shy about it (which you shouldn't be if you're married!) you could try watching a movie with bondage and say something about how hot or fun it looks and see his reaction. You could also just say something like "my one friend from school/work/whatever told me that they were handcuffed during sex once and that it was really fun." There are many roundabout ways you can go to see if it will be an outright no. Once you get a green light, you might feel more comfortable asking for it.
01/07/2013
AwesomeAmanda AwesomeAmanda
Quote:
Originally posted by Lildrummrgurl7
I'm usually browsing Eden while my partner plays video games. When I see something new that I want to try, I'll just show him and ask him what he thinks. He's been pretty open to everything I've brought up. Maybe just show him a pair ... More
i swear i could have written this exact response myself. that is what me and my fiance do every night together, im on eden while he is playing on his 360 and i just show him the awesome stuff i find and he tells me whether he'd be down for it or not LOL.

i've gotten him to agree to things i NEVER thought he would agree too. He is not very experimental in the bedroom, but he is definitely getting more open minded now that i have found eden!
01/07/2013
Hummingbird Hummingbird
Thank you for asking this question, I've been wanting to be tied up with rope and was wondering the best way to bring this up. It was really why many years ago I suggested getting a 4 posted bed. Thank you to the responders for you candor and great suggestions!
02/16/2013
Ayumi Ayumi
Quote:
Originally posted by Gracefire
The best way is to simply be open and honest. Maybe go out and buy a pair, and the next time things get hot and heavy, pull them out and, in your most seductive and sultry voice, say, "Oh, baby, I would love it if you would put these on me and ... More
I really like this suggestion. Specifically the nonsexual introduction of it. It would be better if you have a discussion prior to introducing it because if he does have qualms it might make him extremely uncomfortable if you just have them before you asked him. It could also go really well if he is interested too, but I would err on the side of caution.

Just for some context, I am very into BDSM, but when I introduced it in conversation with my current partner at the beginning of our relationship, he had some serious reservations about it. Mostly because of how he thought that those kinds of things might be degrading to me etc. etc. So I discussed with him that it isn't as if it was against my will. I was asking him to do it some time, and if there was ever a time I did not feel like it (cause we all have different moods) he would respect my wishes to not do that kind of play at that point in time. I told him, I understand where your qualms are coming from, but if it is my wish, then I would encourage you to think about the prospect of it spicing up our play.

Well, he had not said much about it. By this point I had gotten some cuffs as one of my very first assignments. He did research on his own, read some things, watched some things, and was really intrigued by how steamy it could make things. Next thing I knew he was tying me to the couch (it has a metal frame) and cuffing me to a door.

In short, the conversation is key. Get a pair that is easy to use and non-intimidating in look.
02/16/2013
Ayumi Ayumi
Quote:
Originally posted by AwesomeAmanda
i swear i could have written this exact response myself. that is what me and my fiance do every night together, im on eden while he is playing on his 360 and i just show him the awesome stuff i find and he tells me whether he'd be down for it or ... More
And yeah, this has really worked for me too! My partner has always been curious about "what this Eden thing" is and so sometimes I just show him things I want to try and see what he thinks about it.
02/16/2013
Dear Ruby Dear Ruby
If you watch porn with your hubby, maybe pick out a scene or two that has elements about handcuffing that you might enjoy, and then just tell him, "Yes, I think I'd like to try that". That will give him more of an idea of what you're after than just being cuffed to the bed.
02/17/2013
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 13