Introducing bondage into the relationship

ket ket
My boyfriend and I have an extremely close relationship- we can talk about anything, and we will try anything together, which is great. We use toys on a pretty regular basis now that he finally helped me get over my being embarrassed about using toys, and I love it, as does he.
Now, I want to move on to something a little, well.. more. I am into light bondage- I love having my hands tied, I love a little spanking and I like light choking. I love being told what to do when it comes to sex. I know he would do anything to make me happy, so I am not too shy about liking it, but I'm not sure how to ask for it. I get pretty shy when it coms to asking for things for myself, even though I know he likes it too, so it isn't as selfish as it feels.

Any advice, or suggestions?
07/11/2013
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Quote:
Originally posted by ket
My boyfriend and I have an extremely close relationship- we can talk about anything, and we will try anything together, which is great. We use toys on a pretty regular basis now that he finally helped me get over my being embarrassed about using ... More
I used to be extremely shy in asking for what I wanted, but it's extremely sexy to tell someone what you like. They'll appreciate it too for being able to please you.

I know it sounds a little silly, but if direct communication (which is the best) is too embarrassing, you could leave something like a pair of handcuffs or a paddle with a note on the bed and have him "discover" it. Anything to point him in the right direction, regardless of how subtle it is. Once it's been introduced, it'll be easier to incorporate into your love life.
07/12/2013
indiechick indiechick
Quote:
Originally posted by ket
My boyfriend and I have an extremely close relationship- we can talk about anything, and we will try anything together, which is great. We use toys on a pretty regular basis now that he finally helped me get over my being embarrassed about using ... More
I just brought a pair of hand cuffs into the bedroom one day Plushy gear cuffs are a non-assertive way to start. Honestly they sat there for a few days and then we talked about using them. I put them on one night and before I knew it he had taken electrical wiring and had tied me (via the d-link in my cuffs) to the bed. That is where they currently live, we don't care who sees them, but that's just us. I've got 2 more sets of cuffs in the mail and try some new things.

Most importantly you need to ease into things. Don't start everything new at the same time. Try cuffs first, then maybe a spreader bar, Rope gets frustrating if you don't know exactly what you are doing so personally I wouldn't go there right away. But break into blindfolds, I currently own 8 different ones. Collars can be fun too, but it's a matter of growing to using more things. It's starting all at once that makes people scared but if you ease into things, esp. if both parties are excited about it, you should be fine
07/12/2013
SwitchedOn546 SwitchedOn546
My wife and I both like bondage play, but neither of us really have the personality for it. My advice for you is to find a way to get out of your own head. We do so by playing characters when we are getting that wild.

For instance, my wife is sweet and shy, so if she were to have said "I'm a dirty slut" or something like that I would have been a little shocked by it (not that I wouldn't have liked it). However, when the schoolgirl, or the woman I just caught masturbating to filthy porn on my TV when I get home, etc. says she's a dirty slut, or begs me to fuck her ass, or asks me to choke her then I'm all over it. It's a way for us to explore our fantasies without the our normal temperaments nagging at us.

Also, I can tell you from a guy perspective that if I come home to find my wife handcuffed to the bed in sexy lingerie with her legs open and a gag in her mouth, looking at me like she's tied there for my safety, then I would easily say that is as much for me as for her, if not more.
08/22/2013
Total posts: 4
Unique posters: 4