Is your Dom truly dominant?

AmethystQueen AmethystQueen
I'm just wondering how many have Doms/Dommes that are better than or smarter than they are.
03/22/2013
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emilia emilia
nope
03/22/2013
AmethystQueen AmethystQueen
That doesn't mess up the vibe for you?
03/22/2013
Sir Sir
I'm a Dominant, so I do not have to worry about such matters.
03/23/2013
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by AmethystQueen
I'm just wondering how many have Doms/Dommes that are better than or smarter than they are.
No way! But then again, we're kind of equally the Dom. I am sometimes, other times he is, so we switch often. Neither of us are actually dominant people in our relationship, in real life. Only sometimes in the bedroom. Otherwise, we're pretty laid back, non-controlling or dominant people in the least. Neither of us get too serious about dom/sub in the bedroom either. It's fun, playful, but never too serious.

Just seen where you asked Amethyst queen (who answered "no") if that messes up the vibe for her. Since I too said "no," I thought I'd share. It does not mess up the "vibe" for me that he's not dominant in our relationship, but only sometimes in the bedroom because I wouldn't like it at all if he were. I'm not the type who does well with having someone command things from me in my everyday life. I really enjoy us both just living our own lives and doing our own things. I like that neither of us take dominance over the other in our everyday lives. It just wouldn't work for us. For some people, (I take it AmethystQueen is somewhat the same as us) it's strictly bedroom stuff, the dom/sub relationship. Then there are people who like it full-time, but for us, it's just something we enjoy during sex, not any other times in our lives. I guess it's like people who have fantasies that they would do during sex, but never just as daily, regular activity.
03/23/2013
AmethystQueen AmethystQueen
@Sir You don't seek subs that you know are not as quick as you are? Doesn't having a mental edge over your sub heighten things a bit?

@kendra Thanks so much for articulating all of that. I'm a switch, but I was just thinking a smarter Dom would be so much more fun since they could dominate mentally as well as physically.
03/23/2013
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by AmethystQueen
@Sir You don't seek subs that you know are not as quick as you are? Doesn't having a mental edge over your sub heighten things a bit?

@kendra Thanks so much for articulating all of that. I'm a switch, but I was just thinking a ... More
Rarely are people quicker than I am, so I seek people who I feel have potential. I have a mental edge regardless of whether or not my intelligence is higher. Considering the fact that I have a 148 IQ, it will be hard to find someone who is as swift.

I like a challenge, though. It is in my nature to give myself something to overcome. While I may not be more experienced or more intelligent in some aspects, there are others where I am far more advanced, and I take pride in that.
03/23/2013
AmethystQueen AmethystQueen
Thanks for explaining, Sir!
03/23/2013
gwenevieve gwenevieve
Quote:
Originally posted by AmethystQueen
I'm just wondering how many have Doms/Dommes that are better than or smarter than they are.
we switch but my hubz is mostly the dom and he totally rules me in every aspect of life
03/24/2013
charletnarouh charletnarouh
i am a submissive in a 24/7 D/s relationship. i can state with absolute confidence that i am not "less quick" or less intelligent than my Mistress. my Mistress is no better than i am as a person. As human beings, Wwe are equal. Wwe have negotiated a willing and consensual power exchange relationship dynamic wherein i give up power and She assumes it and She, in return, gives me Her energy, Her love, Her care. To enter into such an agreement responsibly with full consent and understanding, it is essential that Wwe be equals in the negotiation before attempting an exchange of power. i choose to submit to my Mistress not because i am lesser than She or less valuable. On the contrary, every act of submission is honoring my Mistress with my value. i find Her worthy of my submission and give myself to Her willingly out of love and absolute trust. Because of my love and adoration for my Mistress, it is vital that i be a valuable person in order to be worthy of Her. Because i respect and admire my Mistress, i would never give Her something that is inferior in any way. In the same way that i would never give Her a material gift that is of a lower quality or shoddy or subpar in any way, i would never give Her myself if i didn't consider myself to be of upmost quality. my Mistress deserves a submissive who is intelligent, capable, quick witted, who is a match for Her intellectually and socially, able to serve Her by performing tasks efficiently, intelligently and competently and also able to be an appropriate and worthy companion to Her. When i defer to Her i do so not because She is inherently better or wiser but because i choose to, of my own free will. Neither party in the relationship should ask the other to do something they are themselves incapable of. The submissive should never give the Dominant power over an area of their life which they cannot manage, nor should a Dominant require service of a submissive that they are incapable of performing for themselves, as either will breed unhealthy codependence. Wwe enter into the relationship as equals, negotiating an entirely unequal relationship in which Wwe happily live and thrive. In play, Oour equal minds serve to only heighten the enjoyment Wwe both get from Oour play. She is devious and sadistic and quite capable of coming up with all sorts of delightful new ideas. My intelligence might pose a challenge for Her but nothing She can't overcome and She has become quite the master of the mind fuck. The intelligent mind is a fascinating thing and when i am in subspace and at Her mercy, my capable mind become Her playground and She is capable of inspiring it in so many ways. She is my Dominant, my Mistress in all things, in all areas of life, including finances, lifestyle, homelife, diet, activities i might choose, my social life and more. i freely give Her this power, entrusting that She always has my happiness and best interests at heart. Oour equality as human beings ADDS to Oour dynamic as D/s partners and adds infinitely to Oour play.
03/27/2013
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by AmethystQueen
I'm just wondering how many have Doms/Dommes that are better than or smarter than they are.
I am dominant though with Sigel we share power. None of my subs have every been truly inferior to me as I find that being challenged to keep my standards high makes me a better Domme. As far as being better, my subs like me to claim that I am superior in knowledge or physicality, but the reality is I choose strong and self confident subs so that I am always stretching and growing along with them.
03/27/2013
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 7