Help! Training a Dom?!?!?!

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Help! Training a Dom?!?!?!

Bex1331 Bex1331
I'm naturally submissive and though I haven't had much experience in the lifestyle I would really like to explore more. The problem is I am currently in a monogamous relationship with a man who is not naturally dominant. I've spoken to him before and he says he'd be willing to try some things for me but it's just not the same because I know his heart isn't in it, dominance requires a certain confidence and state of mind that he won't naturally inhibit. He also does not have a very high sex drive. There have been times when he has done things that lead me to believe he might be good at it, but at other times I'm not sure. Like I said I have spoken to him, and he has agreed to read some things if I give them to him but he admits that he really won't have time to read a whole book. We've been together for over three years so communication isn't an issue, we talk about it but I'm just curious if there are any suggestions to help him get in touch with his inner Dom and enjoy it.
06/21/2012
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Annemarie Annemarie
In your same boat. I don't want to be in a totally D/s relationship, but, I wouldn't mind a little domination in the bedroom. Keeping an eye on this thread!
06/21/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
I'd say not pushing it would help, but having him look at some suggestions of how to be dominant can help. The other thing that can help is pointing out that you won't break, since some people do come from a background where there women are gentler than most subs want
06/22/2012
Sir Sir
You cannot force a person to be something that they're not. Simple as that. It's unfair of you to do so, regardless of how long you've been in the relationship and how open your communication is.
06/22/2012
Bex1331 Bex1331
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
You cannot force a person to be something that they're not. Simple as that. It's unfair of you to do so, regardless of how long you've been in the relationship and how open your communication is.
This is a good point but I don't feel like I'm forcing him, he's offered to try it for me because he knows I like it but I dont really know where to tell him to start. Of course if he really didn't like it I wouldn't ask him to do it, I'd miss having that component in my relationship surely but I'd move on without it. My hope is that with trying it he'd get a taste for it and enjoy it, but who knows.
06/22/2012
melissa1973 melissa1973
Don't preassure him into anything. Seems that he offered because he knows that it would please YOU, if it's in him he has to find it and br the one to bring it out. Lets face it some have it and some don't, and there's a lot of thinking that needs to be done on what he is willing to do and where he draws the line. You said that you've been together for 3 years now; do you really want to retrain him? As for the sex drive or lack there of that might be caused by his medications, check with the doc.
06/22/2012
Ansley Ansley
You can't change a leopard's spots. However, you might be able to twist this into something awesome if you're willing to go there.

Have you ever thought about picking up a dom who would co-dom both of you, either during the same session or separately?
06/22/2012
TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
Be very clear about what you want. If he doesn't want the same thing, then you might ask to play with others. If your partner isn't interesting in learning and isn't interesting in having you play with others, maybe it's time to find a new partner.
06/24/2012
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 7