#EdenLit - (02.2012) Critical Review - First Person Perspective

Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
It was a dark and stormy night and my fur was sodden. I felt the water drip from my whiskers and I growled my discomfort to a uncaring sky. I lifted my tail and lashed it twice both to shake the water away and to ease my temper.
Tonight is the night of the change and I can't find a clean dry place to relax and allow nature to take it's course.

I remember screeching as I wandered too close to the road and got drenched by a careless driver careening back to his or her warm nest...home that's the word isn't it? I have to remember to think like a human for the next three days. I shake my fur and think a bit about the warm fireplace I could be curled up near and She Who Can Hear Me. I am missing her now and my mood is going from bad to worse.

Slowly as I stare unblinkingly at the Eye in the Darkness, (Moon is the human word, I think) the clouds begin to shift and fade away. The Moon stares back at me and I feel the stirring in my blood that signals the change. I howl like I am seeking a mate but no Tom will come calling on this night.
I stand up feeling my fur discharging electricity like a lightning rod and I know, dimly, that I look like Halloween pictures. I arch my spine feeling the crackling beginning at the base of my tail and running the length of my bowed back. I feel the stomach turning sensation of my beautiful grey fur being pulled back into my body until I am as naked as a Sphinx. I have always pitied them, the naked ones. Caught, as they are, between the worlds, I have always felt was no way for a Ma'au to live.
I can feel the brushing of the air currents on my nakedness and I shiver convulsively. Slowly I lose my sense of smell and feel my face broaden and flatten. The sensations aren't exactly painful but they are intrusive and I mewl like a newborn Ma'au seeking it's mother's warmth. There is no comfort for me just yet, and I sigh as the change continues moving deeper into my body.
My organs shift and change quickly and in tandem to prevent catastrophic organ failure and my skeletal processes must keep up to prevent punctures and other problems. I know this because She Who Hears Me has explained it to me over cups of the bitter brew humans favor in this part of the world. I know she longs to see me change but that would be as bad as making toilet in front of an audience, a gu'url has to have her standards!

I pause for a moment to orientate myself to this new shape and then slowly I stretch limbs quivering with left over energy. I flex my newly made fingers and rotate my wrists. I marvel that I can now pick up a leaf with my new thumbs. I miss my lovely retractable claws and am startled for a moment when my whiskers do not respond to my amusement. I miss them the most during the three days I spend as human. I feel my head turning and my ears straining to move with the freedom and grace they normally possess. I sigh my frustration and shake my head to settle my hair.

I flex my toes and stretch my legs rolling in the damp leaves luxuriating in my nakedness. There are benefits to not having a fur coat, I suppose. I can roll in the dirt and not have to dislocate my tongue to clean it off! I snort at my weak attempt at humor and stand up to look for the package She leaves for me every Eye Blink...once again I remind myself to think human and amend the thought to include the word Month.

I am able to open the package with my new thumbs and I can smile, showing teeth. I had quite a few scraps as a youngling when I would forget and "smile" at other Ma'au. When I showed my teeth they took up the challenge and I was bitten and mauled until I learned to separate my bodily reactions!
I dressed my new body grimacing at the sometimes tight and restricting garments but I knew better than to appear in front of other humans in my nakedness. Ma'au also have taboos and ways of doing things that cause changelings like myself issues when they live for most of the month as a human. I have learned the trick of separation but some never do and live lives of internal turmoil, what She calls "Schizophrenia". I am not healer but I know the smell of a fur pretender and avoid them as much as possible.

I can see the open door and her silhouette in the warm light of the fire. I stumble forward before correcting my gait. I am smaller than She is and She sees me as a child though I am nearly twice Her own age! I tolerate the impertinence because she hears me. That's important to me and I greet her warmly before entering our nest to begin three days of living in Her world. Perhaps one day I will gift her with the ability to also spend a few days a Month in mine but until she asks I am content to talk and to drowse by the warm firelight.
02/27/2012
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Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
I have fallen in love with this story...it was just a sort of literary doodle to meet the First Person Perspective exercize but I think I'll continue it...
03/06/2012
Woman China Woman China
How did I miss this the other day when I thought I read all the latest stuff!!!!

I see I am not the only one who posted something to stretch a little!!!

When you mentioned whiskers, I just went... oh! Neat! Then I continued reading and thought... the main character is not human!!!

I really liked how you used the phrase, "I think the human word is moon" I always thinks this adds to the animal in the story. Kind of like they do what we do by putting words to facial expressions.
03/06/2012
Destri Destri
Wow, I LOVE this story! I would love to read more, it really left me wanting more. Just amazing...
03/07/2012
Total posts: 4
Unique posters: 3