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Roland Hulme is our resident Devil's Advocate over at SexIs and he has often found himself under fire for his views on everything from monogamy to how men feel about what makes them sexy. Roland has a strong voice and an even sharper wit
Roland Hulme is our resident Devil's Advocate over at SexIs and he has often found himself under fire for his views on everything from monogamy to how men feel about what makes them sexy. Roland has a strong voice and an even sharper wit about him and he always manages to find a way to drive his point home. This week is no exception.
Roland posted a simple comment, or at least what he thought would be an inspiring comment, on Facebook. The message simply read:
"The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother.” - Anonymous
Moments later he would be hit with a few comments from friends telling him he was being judgmental and asking if he thought they were "bad" parents. It took Roland a moment to realize what they all had in common - they were divorced from the mother(s) of their children.
This one simple Facebook comment begged the question: "Can divorce be an expression of love?".
Well, maybe. Is it better to admit that the relationship isn't going to work and separate amicably with mutual respect while remaining friends throughout the child's life? Or is it better to stay together and stick it out even if you are merely tolerating each other?
To read Roland's entire article on the matter (and show some comment love), you can find it here!
- Do you think Roland's comment was innocent and shouldn't have drawn the ire it did?
- Can divorce be an expression of love?
- Do you think it's possible to remain friends with an ex for the sake of the children?
Divorce is not usually a good thing for the children. Unless some form of abuse is present for a parent or for a child in the situation, divorce will still mess with the children, even if it is for the better.
I could not have imagined my parents being more different, they divorced when I was 6, and I am indeed glad that they did.
I'm not sure if it was done out of love, but in fact suspect it was done out of contempt for each other.
It did mess with me and many of my feelings/reactions to feelings today. I am still very child-like in my emotions, and I attribute much of this to my parent's divorce and its effect on me. It made me always feel like a child. My parents never tried to "buy" me off, but they did say hurtful things about each other, they were often spiteful to one another, and they and their spouses would mock the other pair (both of my parents got remarried). I think it really screws with you if you don't know exactly who to trust or believe, or who is looking out for you vs. trying to support their own interests.
I think as adults, if we are grown up enough to have a relationship with someone, get married, and have children (not necessarily in that order), we should be grown up enough to get over ourselves and at least ACT appropriately when our children are around. Suck up your pride and at least be civil.
I know that feelings are hurt, egos are bruised, etc, but really parents, get over yourselves and try to make a better life for your children!!!
If you do divorce out of love, then prove it to us!!!