How Do You Deal With Conflicts On The Site?**** Is it Different Than How You Handle Them In Your Daily Life?

js250 js250
Over the last two years that I have been a member of EF, I have seen a few conflicts arise between various members. I started thinking about the means in which they were handled by those involved and wondered if this was how they dealt with the conflicts that arise in their daily life--or if they handled things differently when dealing with the people face to face.

--What is your method for handling the conflicts on the site?
--How is it similar or different than in your daily life?
--What would you do differently?
05/12/2013
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Mwar Mwar
I think being online can make people act more a fool, to put it lightly. You're behind a screen and I think it makes people feel bolder.

I never had issues with people on the site, per say. However, I tend to bring certain things upon myself because I tend to be less politically correct than some would like. In what debates I have encountered i have used science
05/12/2013
Woman China Woman China
I agree with Mwar. I think not being in person makes people feel more "brave" to say what they want no matter what it is. After being here on EF for a longerish while now (even when not active, I still read the Forums), I've seen that people do not always think before they hit send. OH! And many people do not stop to read possible alternatives to what might have been said. Too many times I see flare ups online because someone took someone's words out of context/other than they were meant.

When it comes to speaking of touchy or sensitive topics, I make sure that I point out OFTEN that it is my opinion based on my experience. I also use words and phrases like; I feel, I think, from what I see, from my point of view, and all that fun stuff to remind people reading that I am giving my opinion and that everyone is entitled to their opinions no matter what others might think of it.

For me? I read everyone's comments, but don't always like what everybody has to say. I have the choice to reply or just shake my head and chuckle. If I am entitled to my opinion, it simply means that everyone else is entitled to theirs as well.
05/12/2013
Ansley Ansley
Due to my position in the company, I handled things professionally. Now? The gloves are off. Push me, I'm going to push back especially with people who choose yo handle things passive-aggressively, that crap is for wimps and pushovers.
05/12/2013
Mwar Mwar
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Due to my position in the company, I handled things professionally. Now? The gloves are off. Push me, I'm going to push back especially with people who choose yo handle things passive-aggressively, that crap is for wimps and pushovers.
Rock on, Stormy!
05/12/2013
Zombirella Zombirella
If someone tries to start anything with me over the internet (especially if they don't even really know me), I have just learned that it's best if I say what I want the first time and then just not respond back to them. It only ticks me off more and there's no need in getting worked up about something if I don't even know them and they can't get at me other than respond to messages.
05/13/2013
spiced spiced
I haven't had any serious conflicts with anyone on here. If/when I do, I'll handle it the same way I do in my personal and professional life: I'll be respectful and firm.

I believe what I believe, but I don't believe I know everything, or that I'm always right. I'm always open to persuasion by legitimate factual evidence and I'm usually able to back up any opinion I hold with objective facts.

On purely subjective matters, I'm perfectly willing to "agree to disagree". I don't go out of my way to avoid conflict, but I do find it's more enjoyable to focus on points of agreement, rather than disagreement.
05/13/2013
joolie joolie
Even though the discussions are very open, I keep my company manners and think before posting. I dodge conflict whenever possible in real life too.
05/13/2013
GONE! GONE!
I try not to get into conflicts, that's how I do it.
05/13/2013
js250 js250
I also think people are bolder online than in person--it allows the stupid & rude to be prevalent since there are no actual consequences. I also think it allows fore more honesty and compassion since the people know it most likely will not be misinterpretted.

I have never had any big conflicts on here or other areas of the internet. I tend to think that if someone is an ass to me on the internet, they do not deserve to have me in their life as a friend. I have no time for idiots or rudeness and ignore them completely.
05/13/2013
Adnerbmw Adnerbmw
I generally dont like conflict. Now im not saying i dont enjoy the occasional argument. i love arguing different points of view because i think everyone is entitled to their own view of things, and i enjoy hearing them and arguing my own. but i do not enjoy a conflict, i will generally back down online because it becomes pointless to go back anf fourth when there is obviously no end to the argument or what ever the conflict is. In my normal life i would try to end it on a positive agreement to disagree but online it seems harder to get people to do that so i tend to make a last stand then just leave it at that and not go back and look at the issue.
05/13/2013
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I guess I've had some back and forths in private messages. I've tried to be level headed. Not many conflicts, though. I ignore the idiots
05/13/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
I've had arguments regarding subjects in the forum, which can be very intellectually stimulating and enjoyable. I've also had one instance in which a long-time member sarcastically criticized me for starting a thread on a topic that had been discussed before--in that case, I asked if he really had to be so sarcastic, and explained that my search hadn't brought up anything. In person, I react in the same way; I speak my mind, but try to do it in a civil manner, especially if I'm interested in persuading someone of seeing things my way, or wanting to understand their way of seeing things.
05/17/2013
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Over the last two years that I have been a member of EF, I have seen a few conflicts arise between various members. I started thinking about the means in which they were handled by those involved and wondered if this was how they dealt with the ... More
Like the current conflict...just waiting it out. Would love to know if the company is actually tanking or just coming up with a new plan.
06/21/2013
No-nita No-nita
I deal with conflicts the same anywhere. I avoid confrontation pretty much 99% of the time, because people fighting makes me feel sick/nervous, and honestly I have too thin a skin to go back and forth with people over the internet OR offline.

There are one or two hot button issues though, that I don't care if I make myself look like a fool, because for all the people who sit in frightened silence when someone said something wrong and hurtful related to those issues, I have a voice and I'm gonna use it. If I look like an idiot at the end, so be it, but some things I can't let slide.

If it's just a general disagreement and nothing serious, I like to walk away and give both parties a chance to think about it before coming back to talk in a calmer fashion. Or, if it's clear that the other party isn't interested in talking, at least I can have a laugh about it or something instead of fuming with anger.
06/21/2013
Taylor Taylor
I usually like to stay out of the conflicts. I really do not have that many conflicts online or in my personal life.

Online I tend to just avoid it, since most online conflicts really aren't worth engaging in IMO. I feel like the negativity really hurts everyone involved and very little gets solved by it.

One of my favorite quotes is: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

You don't have a choice in what other people do, only your own behaviors. We can either choose to be negative about it, and hurt others in the process, or you can choose to move on or work towards a more positive solution.
06/21/2013
indiechick indiechick
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Over the last two years that I have been a member of EF, I have seen a few conflicts arise between various members. I started thinking about the means in which they were handled by those involved and wondered if this was how they dealt with the ... More
Its the same. I try to stay cool and calm, but I will defend what I believe in and if I feel ganged up on the gloves come off. The only difference between eden and real life is I cannot punch anyone here.


I wish I didn't respond that way. And I am working on it. But last night especially there were some serious issues. I felt I had every right to share my opinion, however because it was so different from some very vocal members who are also COMPLETELY entitled to their opinion, I felt like I was being ganged up on. I was being bullied. I was called a dumbass, a cunt, a bitch, a fucking idiot/ moron. At that point I went crazier than I would have liked, but no one who said any of those things knows me. I got private hateful messages and many things were said publicly. If you were being treated that way, ask yourself if you could keep a level head. I didn't I regret stooping to that level, but it is the same way I would respond in real life, except things likely would have gotten physical.
06/21/2013
Ryuson Ryuson
I think it's MUCH easier for me to walk away and cool my head on the internet. Someone send me a pissed off email? Let it simmer for a day before responding! In real altercations it's easy for me to get to emotionally involved and say things I regret.
06/21/2013
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 16