Anal sex for someone who's basically a beginner?

amorfati amorfati
So my boyfriend and I are ready to begin exploring anal sex, but I have a lot of questions. Let me provide a little information first. We're both 31 and in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship. We're both clean of all STIs. I have tried it a few times with other partners, but those instances were more from being pressured by my partner than wanting it. Now I finally want this with my boyfriend and I feel mentally ready (and I'm not freaking out about it). I have a few questions, but I'd also love any advice, encouragement or whatever from anyone here.

1. I don't really have what one would consider regular bowel movements, so I can't really schedule accordingly. What's the best way for me to make sure everything clear down there? (If you're recommending I use something, I'd love product recommendations so I know what works well.)
2. Even if I JUST got out of the shower, I'm still kind of obsessive about being clean. I've thought about using vaginal wipes to clean there as well. (Yes, rimming will be happening. ) Thoughts? Suggestions?
3. This isn't specifically related to anal sex, but does anyone have any suggestions on the best method for hair removal back there?
4. I know it's better to work up to it. I'd love to hear what worked for others here.
5. Best lube? (FYI, I have fairly sensitive skin.)
6. Is a condom a must? Also, if he wears a condom, after he removes it, will he have to clean up before vaginal sex?
7. I read somewhere that it's good to have a towel around to clean up any mess. Mess?! Maybe I'm naive to think this, but is it really THAT messy? That makes me think there's going to be poop everywhere. I'd love to get some clarification here.

I think that's it for now. Thanks in advance for any help provided.
04/28/2013
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bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by amorfati
So my boyfriend and I are ready to begin exploring anal sex, but I have a lot of questions. Let me provide a little information first. We're both 31 and in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship. We're both clean of all STIs. I have ... More
Sometimes there is a small smear of poop on the condom, but there will be no need for a towel to clean up mountains of poop. They mean that you can use a towel to wipe the toy, finger, or penis.

As for the best lube, look for something without parabens or glycerin if you have sensitive skin. Sliquid makes a Sassy booty formula that is supposed to be amazing! I use System JO H20 anal lube right now, but I'm excited to try Sliquid's anal formula next. The JO anal lube works great, too!

A condom, as I'm sure you know, is always a good idea to prevent transmission of STDs. If you are fluid-bonded to your partner, it shouldn't be an issue, and a condom would not be necessary.

If fingers (or toys, or penises) have been playing anally at all, it is a great idea to wash up before inserting them vaginally to prevent infections.

I highly recommend getting a small plug to warm up before anal. It can make the difference between comfort upon penetration and painful penetration! Check out my Little Tease review and read to the end - I really came around and ended up loving this plug! It's great for booty-shy people and even intermediate anal players like me to warm up to something a little bigger.

I love anal, so I'm advocating for it


Have fun and enjoy!
04/29/2013
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Congratulations! I'm sure that with patience and preparation you will both get a lot of pleasure from adding this to your your repertoire. Here's my advice:

1. I keep my bowel movements regular by using Metamucil at night. Then I have my bowel movement in the AM.

2. My wife uses baby wipes after urinating or having a bowel movement if there is any sex in the plan. If she has worked out - or just feels the need, she will take a hot wash cloth and wipe everything clean.

3. My wife's hair was very fine - but she had laser treatments for permanent removal. I simply shave using hair conditioner which is very good at prevent nicks or cuts.

4. For us the routine goes from an anal massage - rubbing in lots of lube. This is followed by a finger - then a second finger. Then we move on to a small vibe - or vibrating plug. The goal is to get her comfortable with the entry and removal (stroking) of a 1.25" or 1.5" butt plug or vibe before attempting anal sex. This took several concerted play sessions before attempting anal sex.

The thing I found most useful was that my wife had done extensive anal play with me - so I had a clear understanding of what she was experiencing was pretty good. Based on that understanding I knew that after penetration it is necessary to pause - no thrusting. Allow yourself to adapt to the penetration. When my wife is ready she will advice to go slow - don't pull out too far - or go in too deep.

After getting use to these sensations - each step goes more quickly and comfortably. After about a month of regular anal sex, I convinced my wife to use her wand vibrator on her clit - and indeed she did orgasm from the combination.

5. IMO by far the best lube for anal is silicone. But since we use some silicone toys - we'll start with an oil-based lube from YES. When she is ready for anal sex - I will apply a liberal amount of silicone lube to myself - and to her. The silicone makes entry rather easy.

6. I have never worn a condom - but we never go from anal to vaginal sex.

7. We always have a Liberator Throe on the bed when having sex. We have never had a serious issues with residual fecal matter. If it happens we are close to the bathroom - so that's good enough for us.

Best of luck - enjoy the journey!
04/29/2013
bayosgirl bayosgirl
1. You do want to have gone in the last 12 hours or so before having anal, so as not to have a bowel movement hanging around where penetration is going to occur (sorry to be gross, there's no better way to say it.) That said, you can help your regularity by upping your fiber AND water intake. Magnesium is a great help too.

2. I doubt wipes would make it any cleaner if you've just showered, but they can't hurt either. If you're concerned about the inside, try an enema. I've never used one myself because sex for us is usually spontaneous (and I can't stand the thought of poop on him, so we rarely do anal) but they are a nice touch if you're inclined to use them.

3. No idea about the hair removal. I don't worry about mine personally.

4. Yeah, you definitely want to experiment with toys first. Get something on the soft side and small in diameter. Of course, it should also be nonporous. Each time you have anal sex you will need to warm up with a toy/s.

5. We use the same lube that we use for vaginal, Dude Lube.

6. For us, condoms are a must for anal. It's an individual choice though.

7. I don't think the towel suggestion is for wiping up huge globs of poop...more like wiping lube and body fluids off. Don't worry, even if you don't use an enema before, it won't be that much.
04/29/2013
Trysexual Trysexual
I would use condoms for anal. Silicone lube or Sassy booty as mentioned before. You can use electric clippers or shave unwanted hair. I find anal penetration most pleasurable if I have had a movement in at least a few hrs before hand.
04/29/2013
Total posts: 5
Unique posters: 5