Anal Tit-for-Tat

Contributor: Bottom Boy Bottom Boy
A lot of couples have an arrangement where the girlfriend or wife will allow her man to perform anal sex on her only if he first consents to being penetrated first -- e.g., pegging -- so that he can know what it feels like before he does it to her. My lady and I have a different agreement, where she pegs me or hand-dildoes my butt all she wants, but my cock may only visit her pussy (when she gives permission). She doesn't really get anything out of sex toys in her bottom either, or in her vagina for that matter -- with the occasional exception of holding the 'bean' end of the Share inside her (for what she calls 'play-packing', and sometimes for pegging when she doesn't feel like putting on the harness). I get to kiss her buns, and tongue her 'little flower', though, usually after eating her pussy first. I realize this isn't exactly equitable, but we both prefer it this way -- in fact we're crazy about it! Any other couples out there have some comments about 'quid pro quo' in their relationships?
12/05/2011
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Insightful topic debates on Anal Sex:

What might be a good lube found at drug stores or grocery stores for sicone butt plugs
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12/05/2011
Contributor: squire squire
We don't really have that kind of set up, though I think one can find tons of variation within relationships. We know what our hard limits are, and for everything else, even things that we might not personally love, we try to do for each other because we know it pleases the other. The way I see it, if I see my partner get off, even if I'm not that into it, it becomes a connecting experience for us as a couple.

What I do notice, however, relating to your quid pro quo, when we have long periods of time where we are giving to each other for the sake of pleasing the other, our relationship feels stronger and it becomes much easier to influence each other in the non-sexual spheres of our relationship.
12/07/2011
Contributor: Bottom Boy Bottom Boy
Quote:
Originally posted by squire
We don't really have that kind of set up, though I think one can find tons of variation within relationships. We know what our hard limits are, and for everything else, even things that we might not personally love, we try to do for each other ... more
Thanks for your response. Even though to most people our relationship may not look all that fair, we both get a lot out of it. We both enjoy what we do for each other in the bedroom (even though in different 'currencies' so to speak), and this brings us closer and closer together in many other aspects of our lives. In any case, we're not keeping psychological 'tally sheets' on each other, and if we ever agree to re-adjust our boundaries some day, we'll keep that option open.
12/07/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I don't believe in "quid pro quo" in a sexual relationship at ALL. Each person has different preferences, and if one of them doesn't want to do something they just shouldn't do it. To me, having a quid pro quo type attitude with your sexual partner is immature and a recipe for resentment. Sex is about love, it should never feel like a transaction.

I agree with you - both people should discuss their sexual needs openly, and decide together what each partner is comfortable doing. Tally sheets should never be kept, as they will only build feelings of resentment or entitlement - both of which contaminate a relationship.
12/07/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
We do for each other the things we both enjoy, which is a pretty large spectrum, to be honest. We're extremely sexually compatible, thankfully. We both give and receive anal because frankly, it's something we both love the hell out of.
12/07/2011
Contributor: stlouisxxx stlouisxxx
I have learned a lot from getting pegged. I enjoy it a lot (most of the time), but it has also helped me realize the errors I was making. It has helped me being better at anal sex.
12/09/2011