Curious about anal... where to begin?

cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
I started reading up on how to ease into trying anal play. I am curious about this, but it is hard for me to think about it because I have always been one of those people who thinks it's gross.

However, in my short time here at EF my mission has been to expand my horizons and experience. I have been seeing all different types of anal toys, and I am becoming increasingly interested in it.

I would like any advice from anyone, about where to start. Would this be a good thing to get?

I don't plan on having anal sex anytime soon... I am still debating anal play at all. Any advice or suggestions are appreciated. Thanks
09/13/2010
  • Buy 1 Vibrator Get 1 FREE
  • Limited offer: Save 25% on Blush Toys
  • Annual Clearance - Save 40%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 50%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 60%
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Kindred Kindred
I'm sure people with way more experience can offer their advice, but here's my two cents. I wouldn't even worry about getting any anal specific toy yet. You should get a better understanding of how good anal play can feel before worrying about inserting anything.

First, I would say you need to be relaxed and comfortable with the idea of trying anal play. If you have a lot of hesitation/fear, you will be tense and the experience will likely be less than enjoyable.

Once you think you are ready to try, I would make sure you are stimulated before you even go near your anus. You can either do this with a partner or while masturbating. Working yourself up will make anal play even more enjoyable. The next step would be to start touching yourself using a lubed finger/hand. Gently stroking around and over your anus should be extremely pleasurable. When your ready, you can try inserting a finger and continue exploring the sensations. Definitely maintain clitoral or vaginal stimulation while doing any of this.

You can progress through these basic steps as slow or fast as you feel comfortable. The important thing is that at no point should it hurt. If it is uncomfortable, you may need more lubricant or you may not be ready to go further. Back off and continue with whatever step feels good.

If you have a partner, it's good to try anal play while he/she is performing oral at the same time. Another time that works well is when he/she is penetrating you doggy style from behind and playing with your anus at the same time.

Once you're comfortable with a finger, then you can think about toys. Anal play is extremely pleasurable. I hope it works out for you. Good luck!
09/14/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by cherryredhead88
I started reading up on how to ease into trying anal play. I am curious about this, but it is hard for me to think about it because I have always been one of those people who thinks it's gross.

However, in my short time here at EF my ... More
Only do it when you are ready. Some people can never overcome certain feelings about it being "gross" or "dirty". If you are clean before you do it (water enema, good shower), you may be able to enjoy it more. Finally, relax..It can feel good. Even if you never insert more than a finger or a small plug, that's just fine and is usually enough for me to get me very excited. And if you don't like it, that's ok too.

As far as the kit, that may be a good starter thing, but the safety rating isn't the greatest and the rubber is porous so make sure you are the only one using them or put a condom over the big one. At least with a silicone plug, you could sterilize it better.

Good luck!
09/14/2010
ScottA ScottA
Don't immediately reach for a toy. Anal play encompasses many things, not just penis-anal sex, so don't worry about moving towards that end.

Wait until you feel comfortable with your level of non-grossness (perhaps take a shower after a good BM for a start, or you can use a small warm water enema or glycerin suppository if you feel better). Gloves can also be very nice, since they smooth out the skin and keep anything off of your hand. Start with lubricated outside stimulation on the perinium and external anus, combined with genital stimulation, so you can get used to the feeling and learn to enjoy it. You'll know when you're ready to slide a finger inside, or if you decide that you don't want to do that. Once you're comfortable with a finger and are enjoying it then that is the time to think about toys. You'll know you like anal play, and you'll have an idea of what types of anal play you like.
09/14/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by cherryredhead88
I started reading up on how to ease into trying anal play. I am curious about this, but it is hard for me to think about it because I have always been one of those people who thinks it's gross.

However, in my short time here at EF my ... More
Everybody has different tastes and vary in what they like about their sex. My Man and I engage in anal play and anal sex, (me being the receiver only) I know when we started, we didn't start with a toy. He gradually introduced me with his hands and gently got us used to anal play that way. We tried a plug, but I didn't like it so early on. I have to agree that for me at least, real flesh is usually the best way to learn things. But, that's just my opinion. I think Carrie Ann once said, "You don't prepare for vaginal sex by sitting around with a dildo in your pussy all day, do you?" No, you don't. And, while a lot of people like anal toys, we found we only started using them after we got acquainted with anal play and anal sex.

Your mileage may vary. But, for me, I never would have just stuck a plug in my ass on my own. It was part of partner play, and for the most part, always is even at this point.

Kindred made a good point about being well stimulated before even trying anal play. I find this to be true. Even though My Man and I are well acquainted with anal sex, I almost always still have to have an orgasm or more than one to even want it. I CAN do it without coming first, it's just easier and more pleasurable if I get to come first. That being said we DO use anal toys during whatever "foreplay" would be for us, before orgasm, but that is only after a long time of just using body parts in this type of play.

You probably need to experiment to see what works well for you, what you find arousing, what fantasies you have been having about this type of sex, and then decide if you to go Toy First to Flesh First.

Only a few caveats; 1)It if hurts, STOP. If done properly it shouldn't hurt. 2) Do NOT use anything to "anesthetize" the anus. Pain is your body's way of letting you know something is wrong. You could get hurt, badly, if you are numbed and don't realize something is wrong. Please, don't use numbing cremes, ointments or sprays. 3)Use a good lube, preferably not a "warming" or "tingling" lube, but something thick that will last. 4)Go at your own pace.

And like Passion said, some people never come to love anal play. And, that's OK. Do what turns YOU on.
09/14/2010
clp clp
Wow, guys, all of this advice has been awesome! I love all of you anal-enthusiasts!

My suggestion is basically to elaborate on how much info you have coming to you--I personally recommend buying a book about it. It will give you a wealth of good tips to make sure your first/second/every try will go smoothly. Just like with anything in life, confidence is the key and the more you know about what you are doing, the less intimidating it is. Anal sounds like a big deal in the beginning, but the more you learn will show that it can be easy, safe, and very pleasurable.

I would recommend checking out The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino.
09/14/2010
Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
Despite playing around with anal stuff on occasion for the past seven years, I still consider myself a "newb" with all things anal. With that said, always take a shower, use an enema or do a thorough scrubbing with a baby wipe beforehand -- that'll greatly help with helping you to feel clean and more at ease with yourself.

That anal beginner kit looks nice, especially since it includes lubricant.
09/14/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Definitely be open to the experience before trying it. As mentioned, if you're tense and nervous, it WON'T be fun. If you come around to the idea and open yourself up for enjoyment, it will be more pleasurable.

I suggest starting with a VERY small butt plug or even a finger. Then don't forget to relax. In my experience, when I am first penetrated (everytime), it seems painful, so I make my husband just stop, but not pull out for a second, and breathe and relax, and then go on. Once you're relaxed, it's much better. Then just gradually work your way up from small toys and fingers, to larger toys and even penetration by a partner or dildo.

Just relax, be open to the experience, go slow, and start small!
09/14/2010
ScottA ScottA
Tristan's book is great - recommendation seconded.
09/14/2010
Blinker Blinker
Start with one lubed finger, gauge a reaction and go from there.
09/14/2010
cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
Thanks everyone. I am still pondering it. I think I will definitely take all this advice, and the book, into consideration!
09/14/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by cherryredhead88
I started reading up on how to ease into trying anal play. I am curious about this, but it is hard for me to think about it because I have always been one of those people who thinks it's gross.

However, in my short time here at EF my ... More
I would strongly suggest that you get The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women by Tristan Taormino link
This book will lead you step by step into anal play teaching you EVERYTHING you will ever need to know about how to make it pleasurable and safe.
09/14/2010
ScottA ScottA
If you decide you want to give it a try then commit to trying it several times. Anal play can be an acquired taste, and many people think something along the lines of "this is it? So what?" the first or second time, then start to like it better later.
09/15/2010
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 10